Cause I don't know how to let people know how bad I need them or how bad off I am. All my life I have been told by my abusive older brother and then later in life by my abusive ex husband that I'm a pain when I use to need them. If I spoke about my how my husband or my in-laws was hurting me to my older brother my brother would tell me no one wants to hear it. Or he'd tell me I'm such a baby. My husband would tell me I'm always making something out of nothing. I was told these things over and over and it changed me. I would be told things like, I just wanted some one to feel sorry for me and to straighten up. I walked on egg shells whenever I spoke of how bad I felt because I would get yelled at and cussed at something terrible. I even had someone online on another website start ugly things with me when I kept complaining about how bad my life was with my ex. I don't know how to get the attention I need when I'm hurting. I just get hurt and get frustrated because I don't know how to get comforted like most people do.

I can't go on trying to explain how much of an effect the emotional abuse I suffered has on a person. I want to shut that out of my life now. I could not cry for a very long time at one time because the abuse was so bad I had to shut down my emotions to cope.