[stranger_184]

Ive been depressed ever since i can remember(i think when i was 7),i always felt like an outcast (and of course,thts not what started this whole depressin)....and it just gets worse, i use to cut myself a few years back. i eventually stopped but now,im depressed again(for quite some time now) n im struggling not to go into that habit anymore,i dnt wanna go down that road again...AND i wanna tell my sister(the closest person i ever been with)but BACK THEN when i started to cut myself and attempt suicides and stuff, she knew about it. and my parents only knew i had suicidal thoughts and tried to help. but now its happening all over again.....
is there something wrong with me? tht i cant feel happy,content and comfortable in my own skin...and when i speak up, feel comfortable in my own skin, i get trashed for it which makes me wanna be all depressed and sometimes i wonder how, it feels to "feel comfortable in your own skin" and be happy?..i find it really hard to just smile sometimes....if u ever met me face to face you'd know im not the type to smile!
i dont know how to go about it?? i dnt know how to tell my sister without her freaking out, coz im sure she doesnt know....and she'll js tel me to be patience, but there's only so much a person can take...and to top it all off, i have congenital hydrocephalus to deal with and i wanna stop this madness!