[Denise Diaz]

I am 27 years old and suffer from depression and bipolar disorder. I have tried to commit suicide 4 times starting at the age of 16. Last oct i almost succeeded the hospital gave me a 25% chance to live. I have been in counseling and lots of medication my dr thinks that i am medication resistant. i feel so deperate for help but i dont know what to do please if anyone has any suggestions please share them with me. I feel as though if i dont get help i might succeed in killing myself. I need someone to shine a light at the end of the tunnel for me. I also did impatient and group therapy. Please help me if you can thank you.

[Sannah]

Hi Denise, I am sorry that you are in a tough situation. I was able to recover from anxiety by working on issues like self-esteem, personal boundaries, meeting my needs, empowerment, gaining control over my life, learning how to deal with my feelings and dealing with all the feelings that I had not dealt with, learning how to live in the present fully, social skills, to name a few issues. Have you ever dealt with any of these things in therapy? Did you have a tough upbringing?

[Alffe]

Denise...http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum29.html

I know of two members who have had that implant...Dreambeliever and MeBP
both had it done. I will try to pm them to talk to you.

[Alffe]

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/sh...rve+stimulator

[dreambeliever128]

I have dealt with suicidal tendencies since around the ripe old age of 10.

I have lived in counceling for over 10 years. Luckily, I had a Dr. to step forward and practically take over making decisions for me. Even though I was married Bill was just too sick to help me because of what he was dealing with. I lost him 18 months ago the 21st. I will say when you are dealing with depression as bad as you, you need to be in a good councelor at least 2 times a week for quite some time.

My problem is I pull myself up but I don't stay there. Right now I have several issues going on that has practically wiped me out again. I'm trying to pull myself back up.

As far as the VNS there is a board called the Vegal Nerve Stimulator board and you can go there and everyone will help you make a decision on getting it implanted. Mine is off right now due to my other medical problems. It does have it's pros and cons but I do believe that it helps some people a lot. We do try to turn mine on every once in awhile but then I start having some problems from it. I feel like I shouldn't have had it put in due to too many other medical issues that it can mess with but as I said, I see a lot of people on that forum that does like it.

As far as insurance, if you have any, nowadays they seem to be very willing to pay to have it implanted. Mine got approved with in a month. My Dr. wrote a good letter to them that got it done. He was even more worried about me after Bill passed away so we made the decision together.

I will say what you are dealing with is basically what I am living with. I do have times when I am suicidal today but I seem to be able to come out of it quicker then before. You can't give up. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I know because in a lot of ways, I have found it.

If you want to PM me, I will tell you more or I will listen to what you want to tell me about your story and give you more info on the VNS. I will gladly help you in any way I can.

Ada

[Denise Diaz]

Originally Posted by dreambeliever128

I have dealt with suicidal tendencies since around the ripe old age of 10.

I have lived in counceling for over 10 years. Luckily, I had a Dr. to step forward and practically take over making decisions for me. Even though I was married Bill was just too sick to help me because of what he was dealing with. I lost him 18 months ago the 21st. I will say when you are dealing with depression as bad as you, you need to be in a good councelor at least 2 times a week for quite some time.

My problem is I pull myself up but I don't stay there. Right now I have several issues going on that has practically wiped me out again. I'm trying to pull myself back up.

As far as the VNS there is a board called the Vegal Nerve Stimulator board and you can go there and everyone will help you make a decision on getting it implanted. Mine is off right now due to my other medical problems. It does have it's pros and cons but I do believe that it helps some people a lot. We do try to turn mine on every once in awhile but then I start having some problems from it. I feel like I shouldn't have had it put in due to too many other medical issues that it can mess with but as I said, I see a lot of people on that forum that does like it.

As far as insurance, if you have any, nowadays they seem to be very willing to pay to have it implanted. Mine got approved with in a month. My Dr. wrote a good letter to them that got it done. He was even more worried about me after Bill passed away so we made the decision together.

I will say what you are dealing with is basically what I am living with. I do have times when I am suicidal today but I seem to be able to come out of it quicker then before. You can't give up. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I know because in a lot of ways, I have found it.

If you want to PM me, I will tell you more or I will listen to what you want to tell me about your story and give you more info on the VNS. I will gladly help you in any way I can.

Ada

thank you so much for hope i really need it right now i am very interested in the vns if you can give me more info i would greatly appreciate it

[Denise Diaz]

Originally Posted by dreambeliever128

I have dealt with suicidal tendencies since around the ripe old age of 10.

I have lived in counceling for over 10 years. Luckily, I had a Dr. to step forward and practically take over making decisions for me. Even though I was married Bill was just too sick to help me because of what he was dealing with. I lost him 18 months ago the 21st. I will say when you are dealing with depression as bad as you, you need to be in a good councelor at least 2 times a week for quite some time.

My problem is I pull myself up but I don't stay there. Right now I have several issues going on that has practically wiped me out again. I'm trying to pull myself back up.

As far as the VNS there is a board called the Vegal Nerve Stimulator board and you can go there and everyone will help you make a decision on getting it implanted. Mine is off right now due to my other medical problems. It does have it's pros and cons but I do believe that it helps some people a lot. We do try to turn mine on every once in awhile but then I start having some problems from it. I feel like I shouldn't have had it put in due to too many other medical issues that it can mess with but as I said, I see a lot of people on that forum that does like it.

As far as insurance, if you have any, nowadays they seem to be very willing to pay to have it implanted. Mine got approved with in a month. My Dr. wrote a good letter to them that got it done. He was even more worried about me after Bill passed away so we made the decision together.

I will say what you are dealing with is basically what I am living with. I do have times when I am suicidal today but I seem to be able to come out of it quicker then before. You can't give up. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I know because in a lot of ways, I have found it.

If you want to PM me, I will tell you more or I will listen to what you want to tell me about your story and give you more info on the VNS. I will gladly help you in any way I can.

Ada

thank you all for helping me and giving me advice i just came here and feel like i am not alone and maybe there is help i also feel better that i know there are alot of people like me out there and that we can help eachother

[Brokenfriend]

You are right. Yes we can. You are not alone. There are a bunch of us here hanging on to all the help that we can get,and hoping for better things to come. Brokenfriend

[Denise Diaz]

Well i went to neurolgoist yesterday and he wants me to go for an mri and blood work i went for the blood work today and mri on tuesday may 27 than i have to meet back with him on june 12 to discuss my options he thinks i should try ect before the vns implant my therapist and primary do not recommend that because of memory loss and i already have some of that do to my medication. i also cant even hold a converstation at this point it is hurting my famly to see me like this. I was very down yesterday because i thought i was just going to go get the surgery and everything would be ok in a couple of months but it doesnt look like that to me i have lost my job and everything do to this illness i feel like i am fighting a battle and the illness is winning when i was young i was a straignt a student with plans of going to college and now i dont even know who i am when i look in the mirror.

[Brokenfriend]

It sounds like they are being very careful,and your therapist,and primary are overseeing everything. That's good. It looks like you are on the right track.

Your family hurts,but you hurt the worse. You are worth all the concern from doctors,family,and everybody helping you.

Your life is more important then your job. Try not to even think about your job. Don't feel guilty for not working. That's false guilt. You have allot of people in your corner now,and you have a caring family. There is no pressure for you to change immediately after everything is said ,and done. Don't worry about that either.

Don't look at yourself in the mirror to much at this time. As time goes by,you will know more about who you are. Try to go with the flow,and try not to figure these things out,because it can bring major head trips if you know what I mean.

We all love and accept you in this forum community Brokenfriend