Bravo Dejibo!

I think a big reason we all get so frustrated over these issues is that our energy is limited and we resent wasting it on the same nonsense over and over and over.

By Jove, I think Hockey is right!!! Dejibo you are a role model - at this point I don't have many left to cull. Only the ones who stay anyway are left. I'm getting to the age when friends start dying for a wide variety of reasons. Have lost one to breast cancer already. We were good together when we had time together, united in our understanding of what being different and alone and scary to others was like. My move years ago lost me some I thought I'd never lose.

I admit it was freeing to tell folks to "get off me!" I am tired of being polite. I am tired of folks acting like I am retarded or something. I have a master's degree in nursing! Im not stupid. well, I must be if I put up with their nonsense.

I have recieved a few emails back with folks just wanting to explain their position. Some wanted to tell me to go play with myself, and a few said they were sorry. A few are MIA or silent, and that is just fine with me.

its exhausting to keep up to trying to be nice. I have begun to bristle when I hear the phone ring, before I even know who it is! It was bringing way too much stress in my life to keep defending myself. I am not gonna do it anymore. Enough!

you did the right thing. sometimes people need to see it in black and white.
i hope you end up with the most loving and supportive people in your life.

I just smack em and move on...that's my philosophy...I also tell them I don't have to try hard enough...I'm old crippled ain't gonna run...unless its to smack them harder.

Debijo...I know its frustrating, but you know and that's all that matters...why in Aunt Dolly's dirty underwear are you worryin bout what other folks think of you. In the words of King Leonides' wife...the only words that should matter are mine. lol

Those that told you to go 'play' with yourself...send a reply back...well at least I am willing to 'play' with myself and can...you however, have to beat the crap out of your feet just to get them in bed with you. sneak up on a glass of water to get a sip...your mama put a pork chop around your neck just so the dog would like you...your name should have been peanutbutter, cause you spread around...

ok...you get it

Most people just don't know or understand these illnesses. They just want to fix what ever is going on. I get upset with people who try to pretend they can fix things or just try to comfort you with their sore knee, or bad cold, when you know they will get better. When you have lived with an illness, it is hard to separate your constant focus on it. You dont want to do anything. There may be only a few things that make you forget about it for a while, but someone will come along and ruin that to. Trying find a way to manage the things that really make your day lousy is the main goal so that you can try to live conforatably. I noticed that people eventually stop trying to give advice and offer support when they know there is not much they can do. I also get the comments, you look really healthy. One thing that I have benefited from is the short term memory loss, because the things that bother me are easily forgoten.

That is a good attitude!! It is one positive sign for our memory loss.

gmi

Wow does this really sound like a page of my life.....I guess you and I and everyone reading this goes thru all the opinions well meaning or not.Thankfully we can come here and let off steam with people who have endured comments,suggestions and my personal favourite you should pray better or go to church more...........Just wish some people wouldn`t try to make themselves look bigger by trying to make me look smaller...Well this is just one more opinion.....Jim

As predicted about 50% have not been heard from, and that is fine by me. I let 20% have their "explaination" of what they were trying to say, and followed it up with "we are NOT going to discuss MS" I said we can talk about the weather, or current events but NO MS talk!

20% apologized, and were unaware of just how pushy they had become. Were upset when they read the letter, but then examined just how our last several conversations went, and were upset with themselves when they realised how much they had tried to corner me.

10% were just plain nasty, and dont deserve a response. I will delete them from my email list, and social circles. If they want to show up and be adults, then ok, but again...NO MS talk! That will be reserved for me and my MD, and my husband.

Several have asked why I let other folks bother me. I think its human nature to want to be liked, nay loved. its a goal that many of us strive for. I was also raised as a Navy brat, and we moved constantly. I was never able to hang onto friends, because we always had to leave. My father taught firefighting school and it lasted 3 sometimes 6 months,so we moved ...alot! As an adult, I WANT friends!

I like most of us, want to be loved, and heard, and since I have given out so much comfort, love and affection in my circle, I guess I sort of expected to get what I gave. I expected others to be supportive, and strong, and help me no matter what path I chose to fight this thing with. I was surprised, and alarmed when so many became combative, and insistant that I follow their path. At first I was polite, and simply let them talk. I swallowed the sting. Before long I realised it had become habit for so many to continue this path, because I had allowed it, by not stopping it.

As Dr. Phil says (i really dont like him, but now and again he has a pearl) You teach people how to treat you. Since I had allowed it, then it was perceived as allowable. I have decided that its no longer allowable. It was an open door for stress, bad advice, and friends to become aggressive with me. From this day forward, NO MORE! Those who want to stay with me will, and those who dont....well, I am better off without them.

Thank you for all the public and private support around this issue. I was shocked at how many of you were walking a mile in my shoes.

Good for you, Dej!

AMEN! I've told some people "What is this, 50 first Dates?"