I can't really tell if the feelings I've been having are just plain ole sadness or depression. Is there a difference and where do you draw the line?
I've had a lot of changes in my life recently and I know they can be major life stessors. But there are times I utterly cry myself to sleep and just feel so......unhappy. I know I should be strong enough to pull myself out of it but I just can't seem to.
My mom died in early 2009 and I miss her terribly. We moved quite a way from where we lived before and I just don't feel comfortable in my new environment.....everything is so far away.....Walmart is an hour away and the small town we are in has....nothing to offer. I never feel comfortable driving long distances so I guess I feel a bit trapped.
I can just start thinking about some things and start to cry....like at the drop of a hat! Maybe I am just feeling lonely? My husband is not a talker and doesn't like to go out to eat or anything.
I'll be 53 this year and still having a menstral cycle so I'm not sure if its hormonal or not.
I mentioned to my GP that I've been feeling really sad and she didn't seem too concerned about it. Its not like I feel like ending it all....but I don't really feel like life is worth anything either.
I take Wellbutrin but that doesn't seem to be doing much. I have an anxiety issue that I wish I could get some help with. I'm scared to drive on any road where the speeds are over 55 mph. I used to get frequent "spells" that I call "off balance" or "like I'm floating" and while driving I would panic cause I just didn't feel like I was "one with the car". Maybe like I was moving separately from the vehicle. Very hard to explain and I think I have developed more of a phobia of driving over it. So that makes me feel even more trapped and unhappy.
Sorry this sounds more like whinning than anything....but I'm not sure what direction I should take to help myself.

hi karilann,

i'm sorry you're going thru this.
i understand. i once dealt with depression.
i think your dr is being too quick to dismiss you.
one way you can tell if your feelings are depression is if it's lasted more than 2 wks. i think that's the cutoff. i'm not positive.

there are tests you can take to tell if you're depressed. you might be able to find it on the depression forum here. sometimes you need to try another AD. i've been thru several. when a med doesn't work there's others to try. talk to your dr about that. i believe that paxil helps anxiety as well.

you might also consider some short term therapy. not even a psychiatrist but a psychologist. that will be less expensive. if you have insurance it may even be covered.

you're not alone karilinn. and, we're here for you.
please stay in touch.

first of all....

I am certainly not an expert and have not medical background. But I agree that your dr was not listening well enough and you may be the type of person, like many, who try to be so brave and tough....and for you to actually say to your dr that you are so sad was a huge statement and you really meant it, for real... and not just casually in passing.

I have been sad...AND I have been depressed....I HAD counseling at one time, and I Have been on antidepressants. So I do know there is a difference. Right now, I am sad. But....there was a time when I said, "I am SO SAD ALL OF THE TIME....that is when my neuro gave me antidepressants. He talked with me about it and really listened. He knew that I am not just a complainer, but that if I said it I really was serious.

It was several years ago that I received counseling from a clinical psychologist. It helped me a great deal. I also had to take antidepressants. But I wasn't on them forever. I have also been on Effexor since I was dx with ms. But I am off of it at the present time.

I hope you get the help you need, but it does seem that you may need more than just a ....even so,....more hugs to you from me...

I'm coming back to this later when/if I have a few moments of lucidity. What struck me (and shook me a little) was that I could have literally changed a couple of words and signed my own name to what you wrote.

I'm so sorry Karilann . I totally understand what you're going through. I'm with B2y on this one. If I changed a little about your post it could be me.

I lost my mom recently also. I moved very far away from family and friends a few years ago. I don't drive very often either.

Please keep posting and talk to your doctor again. I haven't had much luck with antidepressants but I haven't given up on them yet.

If you are suffering from panic and depression there are medications and counseling taught coping skills that shoud be able to help you.

I'm sorry your doctor didn't pay more attention although I have to say often GPs aren't comfortable with psych issues and frankly some of the prescribing I have seen from them would make one wish they referred the patient to a psychiatrist or NP and didn't bother trying to write the script.

You definitely have stressors but feeling sad and anxious for a majority of the time is a red flag imo and I'd rather see you get help now to avoid the chance that things will get worse. Please keep us posted.

Karilann,

The problem with wellbutrin is if anxiety is involved it can cause that symptom to increase. I can't take Wellbutrin for that reason. Prozac makes me a zombie and a complete couch potato...no energy whatsoever.

Anti-depressents can be a trial and error to find what works best for you.

It is possible some of what you are feeling could be related to perimenopause.

If you keep track of your cycle you might find a pattern to some of your sadness. I am almost 50 and have started having moods swings, crying with no known reason, and random sadness. I have dealt with depression in the past...this does not feel like depression. I have started taking a Phyto-estrogen (natural, OTC) and I think I am seeing a difference but need more time to be sure.

Your mothers death, feeling isolated due to the move, a husband who does not communicate or like to go out and the possibility of perimenopause...who wouldn't feel sad and unhappy

Talk to someone...your doctor, therapist, psychiatrist.

How are you doing, Karilann?

Yes, karolann, what she said..

I hope you are starting to feel better too! Check in with us when you can.