[Soccersam123456789]

I've been depressed for two years going on on three it was berriable untill last year year. I tried for the first time to kill myself a couple ways(pretty stupid only). By my post u can tell that I'm still alive. Anyways I get happy then I get so down and I want to end it. I don't becuase edit seems bad as well as any other option. edit. The down side if you don do it right u could be alvive and even worse sitation. Getting to my question, it seems that the one thing keeping me from ending it is how it would affect my family,friends,etc. Anyone who delt with a loss to sucide could do me a favor an write a response. I know it's selfish and help is so close but I feel like payig some one a lot of money is stupid.(my parents money/health insurence) I've talked to shrink before but I never was able to open up to him truely so parents didn't want to pay the money. Then we stopped.

[Chemar]

Hi
I am so thankful you have come here to seek support

we have a special forum for survivors of suicide with a very caring group of members. I hope you will post there too
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum29.html

I have posted there already to let them know of your thread here as well

[Grannygrits]

Once I tried to end it all...fortunately, I didn't succeed!

If I had not lived I would have missed marriage to my loving husband;
I would have missed my 5 babies;
I would have missed my 7 grandchildren;
I would have missed my great-grandson that is due very soon.

Dear friends of ours had 2 grown children in their 30's...their daughter killed herself, soon after their son died of a heart attack. I can only imagine the grief they have suffered. Please don't put your parents & loved ones through that pain. There are many wonderful things you can choose for yourself.

We have had a life with a lot of love & tears, ups & downs, a lot of JOY & sorrow. I WOULDN'T TRADE IT ALL FOR ANYTHING!!!

Be wise, know that others care...I DO.

[Doody]

Hi Soccersam. I'm glad you stopped by NeuroTalk. There are a lot of good people in the Survivors of Suicide forum. They are people who have lost ones to suicide and who have tried it themselves and they understand. As our good friend Alffe says, it's good to talk about it and you've made that first step.

Most of us understand depression as well. I've had that all of my life but manage now with meds and lots of love from others.

You'll find a lot of compassion and understanding here. Do please follow Chemar's link and post in the Survivors of Suicide forum.

I hope this finds you well.

[Alffe]

Originally Posted by Soccersam123456789

I've been depressed for two years going on on three it was berriable untill last year year. I tried for the first time to kill myself a couple ways(pretty stupid only). By my post u can tell that I'm still alive. Anyways I get happy then I get so down and I want to end it. I don't becuase edit seems bad as well as any other option. edit. The down side if you don do it right u could be alvive and even worse sitation. Getting to my question, it seems that the one thing keeping me from ending it is how it would affect my family,friends,etc. Anyone who delt with a loss to sucide could do me a favor an write a response. I know it's selfish and help is so close but I feel like payig some one a lot of money is stupid.(my parents money/health insurence) I've talked to shrink before but I never was able to open up to him truely so parents didn't want to pay the money. Then we stopped.

Hi Soccersam...and welcome to NeuroTalk. I'm glad you decided to share what you're feeling rather than act on those thoughts. Some of us have been talking about suicidal thoughts (our own and people we love, those we've lost to it, and those who crippled themselves with failed attempts) for many years now.

Our only son ended his life with a gun in his mouth 20 years ago last Jan. and it changed our family forever. It took many years to forgive him for that and to get over the anger we felt....to say nothing of the guilt. We will of course never be the same people as before but we have survived it. Please follow Chemars link to the Survivors of Suicide forum.

[FeelinGoofy]

HELLO SOCCERSAM,

I've been on both sides of suicide.... hosptialized because i was suicidal and losing very close friends to suicide....Please come join our family at SOS... You will find alot of neat people who are not judgmental and love to listen.
{{{{HUGS}}}}}

[NurseNancy]

welcome sam to NT. i'm glad you're here and sharing your story.

i've dealt with depression in my life. sometimes finding a therapist takes a few tries. i was fortunate enuf to have clicked with someone. he really helped me change my was of thinking about myself. i also needed medication.

i'm so much happier today.
we're here for you. you deserve to be here.

[(Broken Wings)]

Hello

As the others have said, follow Chemar's link.

Life is precious...

I hope you find some peace today.

See ya around

[clare]

Dear hurting soul; please remember that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There is always someting to live for; whether it is the beautiful solitude of a sunset, or the wonderful feeling of standing in the cool clean rain, the laughter of little children, or squishing your toes into the warm wet sand at the beach. Things change every minute, and we never know what's around the next corner. We all keep going on, because the next corner might be the good one. Please stay with us and keep hoping.

[azoyizes]

Hello, and welcome to NT! This is such a great place with lots of friendly, caring, and helpful people.

We're so glad you found us!