[ghaverstick]

Hi i am new here. i am a forty year old married mother of a 15 year old boy. i live in arkansas and i am a stay at home mom. i came upon this chatroom when i was searching for things dealing with grief. i lost my father on january 24, 2007. he died with copd. for those of you whom has never wittnessed anyone passing away with this horrible disease. i can only describe it as having to watch someone that you love sufficate, slowly day by day. when death does finally come you never forget the sound of their last breath and the purple look on their entire body. i sat in my dad`s room day by day watching this happen for almost a month. this horible disease also takes their minds. the lack of oxygen makes them out in left field. you watch as the nursing personal gives them increasing doses of hallidol, staydol, and sometimes morphine. i have lost my grandmothers, aunts, uncles, couosins, and even friends. i have lost many people in my lifetime. i have never felt this way before. how long will this greif last? when will the pain lessen? when will i be able to sleep the entire night again? when will i stop seeing and hearing his last breath each time i close my eyes? i am asking for anyons imput in this. please help a daughter to deal with losing her father.

[Snoopy]

Hello ghaverstick and welcome to NeuroTalk

I am so very sorry for your loses. I can only imagine the pain and grief you are feeling. May I suggest Grief Counseling, you have experienced so much and sometimes it can be very difficult for our mind to let go of what we see, hear, feel and experience.

I truely hope you can find the help you need and deserve

[Alffe]

Welcome to NeuroTalk ghaverstick....I see you have found your way to our grief forum.

[ghaverstick]

tky. the local hospice unit has a greif group. i tried and it does not help. my therapist has suggested nightly yoga. i do not do yoga. my doctor has put me on depression and nerve pills. they help a little, but nothing can take away the sound and the vision.

[ghaverstick]

tky. i am hoping that this will help. i have tried the hospice units counsiling, but it does not really help. i am hoping to meet a few new people that is going through the same thing.

[DM]

Hi ghaverstick and Welcome! First of all, I am sorry for your loss. I have been dealing w/grief since June 16, when I lost my darling Mother. Yes, I had to sit and watch her fade away every day, but I am trying to concentrate on the wonderful times and so much fun that we used to have. We were extremely close and I will miss her forever, BUT..

As the Hospice care wker told me.... The 3 T's of grief are
TIME
TALK
TEARS

Did you Father have Hospice care? They will counsel the family for a yr after losing a loved one.

You are not alone. You have us and this wonderful board of very caring, kind members...... Glad you found us.

[AfterMyNap]

Hi, ghaverstick. Welcome to NeuroTalk!

Your heart is heavy, it's obvious. It's true, grief counseling doesn't necessarily work for everyone. It is a process that must take place and every day, a little more of that process is accomplished. Let yourself go through it, allow yourself to finish the process.

You'll never, ever forget your dad, but you will one day find a peace in knowing that you had a loving relationship to feed your spirit.

It might help you to find a project or a mission to which you can give some time or energy as a dedication to him. When you work on that project, do it for him. When you work on something else, do it for you.

You'll make it, hang on, God knows what to do.

[ghaverstick]

i know what you are going through. he was in hospice. it is a very nice place to put your loved ones. we do attend the counsiling sessions. i am having a hard time today because it is the annual memorial service for the hospice families. i made his quilt block. i cross stitched his dates and a few of his favorite things, then i framed it with flannel material. he loved wearing flannel shirts. i think i cried a million tears for each stitch. i wish for peace and heart healing powers for christmas this year. i pray each night for these things . i will not ever think that god does not care. in time we will be able to cope, but when that time comes one does not know.

[ghaverstick]

i have carried on his charity responsabilites. he was a very giving man. we never had much money to spare, but at a very young age we were taught to give our time and love to those that are in need. i think i wrapped a zillion toys for our toy drive yesterday. it was very hard to do it. this time last year i had helped him. i would wrap a few presents then cry a few minutes. those memories would flood into my mind. once i looked up, hearing a noise, and i saw my mother crying also. i am thinking about myself now. i have tried to help others cope but now it is my turn. that is what my therapist told me anywho.

[Virg]

I am a member but never posted...don't know if I can being on webtv, not computer. So this is a test as hard for me to type account PD. My name is Virg, I'm 81 (WWII vet). Hello to all!