Hello Denise and another Welcome to NeuroTalk here. Please make yourself at home. NT is a very caring and informative place~~ You'll love it here.

Hi Denise:

You are the exact age as my son. He threatened to commit suicide many many times. The difference is that my son was manipulating the system. You are not.

You obviously have a very serious case of depression going on, and so far the meds that have been diagnosed for you have not been doing what they have been prescribed to do.

I really feel for you. I really do. You don't mention your family. Do you have parents and what role have they played in your recovery. Are they supportive? Do you have contact with them.? Do you have friends?

And also, do you go to support groups. Sometimes, being alone is so painful, you might feel "what do I have to look forward to in life"?

I completely understand. Some people like to be isolated. Some thrive on constant socialization.

I don't know where you fit into this category.

We need a bit more information, (that is, if you don't mind sharing).

We do have excellent forums on this website, and more important, we don't judge, we just listen and when asked, we offer much info, some advice, and sometimes, a friendly ear if that's what you need.

It's important to be completely honest when you tell your story. Because when a person listens to what you have to say, the only info they have to go on is the truth.

So, if you'd like, feel free to private message me, or just go to the Depression forum, and see if you can be comfortable there.

The way you are feeling, well, it's not funny, it's not comforting, and it's most dis-heartening.

Please know that we here, DO care very much about your feelings.

I just wanted to offer that.

Take care,

I have been where you are and would gladly told with you. There is not much that the devil has not toss at me to try and break me. We can and will pull through. Barefootangel

I have a very supportive husband and 2 sons. I feel isolated from the rest of my family I am so affraid i will hit rock bottome. I feel like i dont deserve my husband i have put him through so much especially the last suicide attempt because he had to see me like that and didnt know if i would pull out of it and he was blaming himself for it and it wasnt his fault i am ill and i need help I am looking into the vns surgery my therapist and primary care physician feel like it might be my last hope so tomorrow i go to a neuroligst to see what he thinks and whether i can go to a neurosurgeon to get it done I just might see a light at the end of the tunnel but once again i feel like nothing good ever happens to me its just one let down after another and i feel like if this doesnt work this might be my last chance. depression is horrible and wouldnt wish this on anybody. and i know it was hard for my husband to take care of my kids while i was in icu for 4 days than 302ed to an impatient program for a week and i thank him and dont know why he puts up with me or why i deserve him.

Denise you deserve to have a life worth living and we'd love to help you up from the floor. Many here have worried about you, prayed that you are still with us for your families sake.

I lost my only son to suicide and it changed our family forever. Please keep talking about what you are feeling...this forum (particularly the Survivors of Suicide Forum) is the place to get the support you need. We take turns holding each other up there and we do not judge you for having those thoughts.

If you click on this link....http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum29.html

it will take you there. And good luck at the dr.

Denise, please heed what Alffe is saying. This is a wonderful caring group and we are worrying about you.

Please check onto the link that Alffe provided so that some-one can maybe help you through this tough spell.

I am very sorry for your on going depression. Does it ever let up? Please don't give up. I've been struggling for years myself with many puzzling,and painful emotional issues. There are many topics in the Depression,and Bipolar area of this forum community that may be able to help you.

Scroll down to the bottom area of this forum community,and there we are. I didn't know how to navigate through this forum community for several months. It is assumed that people will know,but I didn't know. I mean no disrespect to the forum community. I just didn't know how to navigate through it.

Sign in,and/or scroll down to the area where you see Depression,Bipolar,OCD,and other things like this,not necessarily in that order.

We all love you. We are with you. We want to help you. My heart goes out to you,and I'm so sorry that you are going through this,and it must be very painful. I understand emotional trauma deeply. Many of us do.

There is also a sanctuary area in this forum community. I have gone in there with prayer requests. Brokenfriend