good , spot on stuff, Wide O. My back is a mess, a real mess. I have looked into that too, and find more questions than answers. I think 'co-morbidity' is probably a big part of it for some of us, as you say.

And it's interesting, there are some studies that show people can learn to drink "rationally" just as they learned to drink "irrationally." I checked this out quite a bit, and the work is done by legit researchers. I have had success with it (you limit yourself to an ounce an hour, or a beer, glass of wine, etc, you change, with training , how you think about drinking, and so on.) but I have had much more failure with it, and I suspect this is true for most people. I read a book once called Sober For Good , I think, and this topic was covered in some detail, and the authors conclusion was that in the real world, very few people succeed in returning to rational drinking, and besides, if its that much work, who wants to?? not me, it is just not worth it. I can do if for a night or 2, but not much more.

Oh, another thing, this is my birthday, my real one, I am 62. Since we can't celebrate my one year anniversary of total abstinence on Aug. 4th, you are invited to my online birthday party here!! Cookies and tea are on me!! (well we could celebrate Aug 4th, but we would have to ignore 5 days, or was it 4...whatever. )

BAHAHA - I am pretty happy that I have gone almost three years without throwing up....

Party on!!

< where is my Sierra Mist? >

Three years ago I woke up in jail with a BAC of .37 and I had no idea where I was. Not even sure what town (or State) I was in. My wheelchair was gone, my car was gone along with all my belongings and I could not walk. I spent 4 days on a cot before I was given a walker to get to the showers. I had lost my house, my career, my marriage, my kids, my savings....

When I was released I had a Hawaiian shirt, pair of shorts and my wallet. That was it.

Three years later I have every thing I need. A job, a roof over my head, a van, my kids and a wonderful young lady.

I can walk again.

I lead recovery meetings.

I counsel other Alcoholics with PN symptoms on how to alleviate the pain and numbness.

For me, abstinence was the answer, and now its easy.

Keep up the good work folks, its is different for all of us, just find what works and keep at it!!!

That is truly inspiring!

Good for you!, Icehouse!

Great stuff Icehouse. What a difference a day (at a time) makes eh... you know the song.

There are many routes to sobriety. I always cringe when I read the AA versus non-AA discussions: pick a way that appeals to you most and give it all you got. It's about getting sober, not about being right.

I have never gotten to the jail part, but "yet" is a big word when it comes to alcohol abuse. There are many bottoms under the bottom one thinks one reached. I got out before jail/DIY but I do have this PN to remind me... my company that I had to close down... and yes, it is still the best decision I ever took.

I'm in the process of writing a book that documents my stay in rehab. My addiction counselor likes what I'm writing and told me I should do lectures. She can introduce me into that circuit. Helping others (even if it's just a tiny bit) will help me too, so that's what will happen after I finish the book.

I took notes every evening there, and it's hard writing it down. It all comes back, and it's like staring into the abyss. How on earth did I get there!?! Well, I obviously did, me, Mr. Smartypants.

Anyway, this is not about me but about you. A big congrats on 3 years, a great example for the rest of us. Well done you!

Nah, this is about US.

Well said! Loved the summary of your experiences, Icehouse. Congrats for the complete 180 and keep on truckin'!


A quick up update on my own progress, I rarely think about the days that have gone by without alcohol, it's just a norm now. Is it easier? No. Numbness surely is still the enemy. I go out here and there with friends to bars, and those nights are hard as well, having to explain myself all the time why I don't touch a single beer. All in all, I can't complain about my progress. Like many have said, it's a day at a time. I'm putting my mind and body where it should be for someone who's still in their 20s.

Newstown, but like Wide-o said, it's not a waste to have a blip as long as your honest with yourself. Your decision was a conscious one, unlike those nights in which we've all experienced of being unconscious with alcohol. We all have our own decisions to make in the end of the day, we're all here to just help encourage each other to make the best one. Be well everyone! Keep on keepin' on!

It is true, Kidwonder, that I thought quite a lot about it when I decided to drink with some old (young at heart) friends I hadn't seen in years. I didn't feel bad at all about "losing a year" or anything along those lines. I reasoned that if I wasn't able to resume a very modest amount of social drinking (I wasn't) , I would simply get back on "the wagon." (I did). My main goal in it all is to arrest and reverse , if possible, the symptoms of PN associated with alcohol use and abuse, not to see how many days or years of total abstinence I can rack up, although I realize it all probably goes together for the vast majority of us. I am feeling great again and don't have any lasting regrets about my 'detour.'

On another note, I will point out that I have been taking methylcobalamine the last couple of months, and I don't know if it is a coincidence or all in my head, but this is the first real improvement in symptoms I have noticed in months. Kind of ironic that this would coincide, roughly, with my additional 'research' into drinking. But I share that for what it's worth in case anyone else was thinking of giving it a try. Who knows, maybe its doing something.