Miriam, there is an emotional process that goes on with diagnosis of a serious disease. I think it is even more profound when you are young. I was sick as a young woman but they never did the proper testing, so I had the luxury of thinking it was in my head....maybe that was good, maybe not.

Now that I have diagnosis, neuropathy and a reason for having it, things are not all that better....some, because they are trying to treat it with IVIg, but, then again, it isn't like things are hugely better. My alternatives are as toxic as the disease.

I feel some days, like, 'Is this it? Is this how I am going to feel the rest of my life?" "Man, I am getting ripped off'.

I guess what I am trying to say, is a disease, any disease comes with this sinking feeling that one is actually 'sick'. I have transitioned thru an unbelievable string of symptoms and often, many of them have passed. Some have not.

Just do the best you can. Do what you must to get by. Cut yourself some slack. Vent if you need to. Venting is good. Distract yourself as best you can.

I sometimes pretend I am well....this lands me in bed for a few days, but, if I can have the illusion of normalcy for even a few hours, it is worth it. Lately, I am so sick, that I can't even pretend not to be...it won't work.

Having a chronic disease, with young children to raise is indeed difficult, but I think you are a strong person....oh, and have them check that F-ANA and ENA at least twice a year, as well as other tests for thyroid, diabetes, and other things.

Also, it does not hurt to get a cardiac work up.