Does anyone else out there have problems on the 4th of July?

I was deployed to Baghdad and was slightly injured by a terrorist explosion.(Ear injury and mTBI). We were rocketed quite frequently in the Green Zone where I was stationed.

I returned a month ago and thought I was doing OK. Now I'm not so sure.

Today I was at a community party and some kids started setting off fireworks. In fact, one of them thought it would be pretty cool to throw some in my direction.

I've been a little jumpy at loud noises, but nothing like this. I was startled when it happened initially, but after a few minutes I was shaken. I excused myself and went inside where I began to feel fear like never before. I started shaking and my eyes actually welled up with tears.

Right now, folks are setting off fireworks outside and I'm very uncomfortable. The hair on my arm is standing up...I feel a bit scared.

I've never had feeling like this before. I thougt I was doing OK since I've been back..but now I'm not sure. Luckily, I've only had two nightmares in the last month (both are flashbacks to the event in which I was injured) but in both I was killed.

I haven't been diagnosed with PTSD or even seen anyone about these feelings. I'm just hoping it doesn't get worse. I'm nervous because I'm afraid of the stigma associated with any type of mental health issues in the military.

I'm sorry to be so long winded, but I really felt like I had to tell somebody. I LOVE my wife very much, but sometimes I feel like she just doesn't understand all of this. Heck, I don't even understand all of this.

I realize it could be a whole lot worse...I'm not having flashbacks or anything like that...and I'm fine most of the time. But today was really scary and uncomfortable for me. I can't wait for it to be over...

I didn't even WANT to go to any fireworks this evening. Just to uncomfortable with the idea.

So...I was just wondering, does anyone else have problems on the 4th of July?

Nate