All of these girls have good stories to tell and I would listen to them. I haven't went through what they did. I was married 35 years to a good man that was also disabled but the man worked his ***** off for us to have something. He bought and sold antiques on the side and when he passed 8 months ago he left me with my home almost paid off. I only owed 5000. more on it when I lost him. I have everything I need. I still do need another vehicle but my truck is still going strong. Next month I will have my place paid off and another vehicle.

He could be a pain at times. He was determined to be the man of the house and take care of me and Susan. He was old school. At times it seemed like control to me but I finally realized I couldn't work anyway so I let him do what he needed to do.

As far as your husband, he doesn't sound like that kind of person. Bill never once said that if I would work we would have something. I really can't picture a good man saying that to his wife no more then she would him if he were disabled.

I recall a girl on the TOS forum who got her settlement and her husband bought him a new car and new motorcycle with HER settlement and left her very broke and in such bad shape for about 4 years until she got her SS. She didn't have kids to support either.

I would definately think about where that money should go myself. Maybe buy him one or two small things or one bigger item and you one item such as he pool and the fence which wouldn't be all that much and then put the other back.

As far as the bills. Go to these people and tell them you will make payments until they get paid off.

I don't remember if you said your husband was working or not. If he is then stretch his money as far as you can with paying the bills and put that aside for your emergencies.

As far as councelling for you, I would say they also offer free councelling somewhere through Social Services. They do here. At least for you. Give him an ultimatum as one girl said and if he won't go then go by yourself. If he doesn't meet you halfway then odds are he doesn't care enough to keep the marriage going.

Stand your ground and take care of yourself and your daughter. She is what's most important and think about the fact that most likely you will not be able to hold down another job.

Good luck on your decisions you make and hang around for the support that you will get from all of these good people.

Ada