That was really an amazing poem. I can't believe she included this line..

"A strong woman is making herself strong, every morning while her back throbs."

Talk about ironic, huh? Maybe these things only happen to strong women, like us, and that's how it all comes about we have so much in common with the strength and this disease....(And waking up with stiff, stuck aching backs)

You both have been truly kind in your words to me in regards to my past. Thank you so much for making me feel like Superwoman. Another ironic thing is people have always told me I looked a lot like Linda Carter!!!!! LOL

To answer your questions though, I've had RSD/CRPS (whichever you want to call it) since September of 2006. I left my ex husband years ago...when I was in my mid 20's, I did not have RSD then. As I mentioned though, that was something that tought me how much strength I had. By leaving him and by starting a new life with my toddlers (now they are teens). It's been years of struggling, years of patience and hope for a better future.

I met Brian (now known as LoveMuffin) in 1999, a few years after leaving my ex. I was pretty content with the single life. I was just dating someone at the time, but it was nothing serious and to be honest hadnt planned on even bothering with a serious relationship again. He was a music teacher in England (where's he's from) and I was just getting into the Environmental Feild.

Definately we met when I least expected it in the most unlikely place!!!!!!!

It all started when I bought my very first computer... I had been told Chat Rooms weren't safe, so I stayed away from them (for the first few days at least) I went into some randome room, and I met Brian who was, at the time, known as "FuNkY". I didn't even really know how to use the internet then...so I couldn't tell you at the time how I even ended up in a chatroom called "FrEaKs R uS"! (I' can't help to laugh as I type this!)

He and I were getting along so well, it was like we had everything in common. It was actually pretty unbelieveable to see someone else respond and react exactly the same way I did to everything. He was getting ready to disconnect, begain to say good night to everyone in the room. (It was daybreak in England at that point!) Just as he had his finger on the 'X' to close the window I typed. "Going so soon?" He stayed for a little while longer and we exchanged email addresses. If I hadnt said anything we never would have met again because as I mentioned I had NO idea how I ended up in the "FrEaKs R uS" chat room in the first place!!!!! We exchanged emails that night and he sent me a long email about himself. I was so excited, I ran to my mother to show her what he wrote. She told me he sounded too good to be true, but of course I didn't listen...my stubburness is still very strong!!!! Months after speaking on the phone and instant messenging we couldnt take the seperation anymore, we had to find out if this was as real as it seemed to be. He rang up the biggest phone bill in the world, which made him completely broke. He sold many things just to be able to come to the U.S. for 2 weeks. It was very powerful actually, and completely romantic. He was so cute as well...long blonde hair, six foot four, blue eyes...like my very own British Rockstar!!!!! LOL

He and the kids got along wonderfully as well, and that was so important to me. When it was time to leave again he decided at the last minute (once again) he was going to stay. He's been here since then!!!!!!!! Then about a year and a half later came our seven year old girl, little Chloe!!!!!!!!!

When he came here, he couldn't work mind you...it took years to get his immigration status legal...so I was actually not just taking care of two young children, but also LoveMuffin and Chloe as well!!!! Only now I had at least some support with the kids, and they took him on as their father.

But in January of 2006, he was made a Permenant Resident!!!!! That same January he got his drivers license and a really good job!!!!!!! Now he makes tons of money and has just received a promotion and is going to make me a rich woman! (Or else)

Anyways...that's what I mean about struggling so long, then finally being able to take a deep breath and relax then being hit all of the sudden with this CRPS bullsheet! What a slap in the face!!!!!! Now you see what I mean????

Heather...
That's so sweet that you called your Bryan like that. I'll bet that made his day!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so sorry you are having to encounter this pain again. How terribly frightening for you it must be. You really do have so much courage to have RSD, get married, and have a baby. That's like the biggest stand off to RSD I can think of. You really have the attitude that your not going to prevent RSD from preventing you from doing all you've wanted to do for yourself. I can see you are a truly happy person and delighted by your family. It iwas so obvious when I was looking at the pictures you had on your page last night.


Rocker, you really are so lucky to have your GF. She sounds so amazing as well! I know what you mean about releasing with someone when you're like this...it really does make a world of difference when you have someone like that by you, some one who "medicates" the soul.

Thanx again for all the nice things you've said...you made my day as well! And I am just so impressed and inspired lately and it's because of all the wonderul things being said in this thread. I do believe this is the best thread ever!!!!!!!!!

Now, your GF's name isn't 'Bryanna' by chance is it? I only say that because Heather and I both have a Brian and Bryan! HA!

You really are stronger than I thought. I can't believe the chat room story and you have a Brian and I have a Bryan. Yes, it did make his day when I called him.

I am glad that I found you on myspace. I pretend I don't have RSD there...LOL...by the pics you can't tell, huh?!

I don't want my daughter to see me on meds or in a wheelchair. I want to be active and vibrant and not take away from her life. That's what kills me every time I look into her eyes ***sniff***sniff**

One Day at a Time! My dad is 10 years sober. AA 7 days a week for 10 years and is my Mentor. I have learned a lot from him!

I look up to you GreyHound!


Heather

I noticed that about your MySpace as well!
The reason I noticed was because I don't deal with it there either. To me, my MySpace is a reflection of myself. Again, keeping my identity for as long as possible is so important to me. I've lost it once before, and as odd as it sounds,I like who I am for the most part and would rather not lose it again.

But it's so nice to see your smiling face!!!!!

That beautiful little girl will always see you as a protector and strong because you won't go down without a fight!

So you have it full body as well...right? I don't know if I consider mine full body or not. Lately though, my hands seem to affect me the most. I know you're probably thinking it's because of my enormous posts, but it started before that...HONEST! My fingers are so cold they feel like their burning. They're red, swollen, and my skin is thicker and has a shine to it on some days and dull, white and crusty on others. I know it sounds awfully stunning doesn't it????? Do you get this in your fingers and how does it affect you there?

It's so wonderful, as well your dad has maintained his sobriety..that's such a long time! See...that's where you got your strength from!

[The two of you have been two of the most amazing, and truly special people i have come to chat with on here. I didn't know either of you had a myspace. IF not too personal, what is wither of yours. If you search, on mine, it's jcrewpoet or jcrewpoet1977 (not sure which). That'sa great place to chat in a more private setting if need be (unless you can do that on here and I just don;t know about it).

Greyhound, you were cracking me up..no, my gf is not Brianna. That would be pretty damn ironic if it were. Her name is Cindy. Not only do i feel, as I said, medicated, there in her arms, as we all seem to, with our significant others, but, she is also an attorney. That brings me comfort as well. Of course, with ethics and how things roll, ethically, she could never be an attorney, but, she knows good "go to people" (as I am in the process of dealing with the demon that is worker's comp). And Greyhound, even more ironic, I met my gf online as well (something i had never done before, and, honestly, would have made fun of other people before for doing). I was just at, kind of a place you were, I had removed myself from a 4 year relationship, that was toxic, that was no clean break for me, and I was willing to be more open-minded in reaching out, meeting new people in a variety of different ways. And, she and I were friends for several months, which was great in getting to know each other first), before we crossed those lines.

THE POEM: (heather and greyhound) I am glad that you both enjoyed it..it is one of the most incredible poems I have EVER read. To be a strong woman, certainly, it begins inside, that keep-on-keepin on mentality no matter if you feel parts of your physical self are aching from head to do. Strong woman are strong outside-in, and in-side out.

Anyway, thank you to both of you, Heather and Greyhound, for being the amazing sources of strength, constancy, and truth I have found here. Your support doesn't go unnoticed or unappreciated by me.

My myspace is:
myspace.com/asiliveandbreathe


I can't go into my account at work today, but when I get home I'll be sure you find ya!

You two have been such an inspiration to me as well. I think it's true...when someone points out how strong you are, it makes you that more determined to be even stronger!

And it's okay even though we encourage one another to be strong that we have bad days as well. I just want to reassure you, that no one will ever think less of you for expressing your pain.

Poor Heather right now is having a flare up, my heart goes out to her...I hope she get's better soon, I wish there was something I could do.

Cindy sounds like such a wonderful person, there is clearly a reason why she's so rave about you!!!!!!!!

Heather, my heart, thoughts and prayers go out to you, hang in there, and fight with that fighting spirit I know you have; that I have heard, and has encouraged me, day in and day out...

Greayhound,
I think most of us, the fortunate ones, have our everyday angels in our lives that guide us through and past the pain (ie, Cindy, Brian, and Bryan). We are blessed for their patience, understanding, and constancy. I never forget to tell Cindy ever single day the depths of my love and appreciation.

GreyHound,

I consider mine full-body because, I have full-body flare-ups and I have RSD arthritis now. I can barely open my hands some days. Mine don't get swollen as much as they ache and sweat and burn. I am like you. I don't have the sensitivity like I do the burning throughout my body.I keep typing and don't stop doing stuff all day. Once I stop the pain gets worse. And it keeps my mind off of it. My legs are the worse. They get swollen, turn blotchy red/purple, and get shiny. My feet are always freezing as are my hands, and sweaty. Sometimes my entire backside (like back of neck down to back of ankles) sets on fire. I can never understand that one.

The worst yet, I had a Flare in my Girlie Parts! Has that ever happened to you? OMG, I freaked out. That's why I had a c-section, because I would rather have the RSD attack my abdomen than my area again. It was awful!

I appreciate what you said about my dad. I have so much respect for that man. He did that for us 3 kids. I want my daughter to look at me in that sense.


JCrew,

You are a sweetheart! My myspace is http://www.myspace.com/onegirlinterupted.

Add me whenever! I will try to add you too. Seems like I am on here more than I am on there. You know that I was #352 on myspace. I started promoting for it when I danced at clubs like 7 years ago. Crazy huh?! Now there is like 90 milliion people on it.

I truely look forward to getting up everyday and chatting with you guys on here. Thanks for being there with your honesty and love. It means a lot.

Love you,
Heather

I tried both ur myspace's and it says invalid on both????

Heather

it might be just jcrewpoet. I think that's correct. or try sara adams is kentucky to find me