I can feel your dispair and I am very sorry for your pain. I can only speak for myself, but during my 20 years of full body RSD, I have certainly experienced some of the same emotions you are both feeling.
There are qualified professional out there that can walk you through these seemly bleek times. Please both of you, seek help from a professional trained therapist.
We are all in the same boat here and having each other is what keeps us from drowning. When we comes to this point and many of us here have been there, including myself, it is time to be brutally honest with a qualified mental health practioner. I have been down in the pits and ready to give up, my brother a ER doc told me they would have to hospitalize me soon if I didn't get help. I couldn't eat. I didn't talk so my vocal chords didn't work. I couldn't walk. I couldn't leave my house. My hair fell out in hands full. Depression is very brilliant mechanism. It wraps us up in a cocoon, when the stresses are too much. Before we know it we begin to shut down completely. Chronic pain is dreadful! The loss of a life as we knew it, seems unbearable at times. I made a decision at this point (bearing my soul now) to get to a local mental health center and get the help I needed. I was losing my life, because it was more than I could bear. I got the hand up that I needed and I am still having counseling. We all experience these terrible lows, but I sincerely feel it is time for both of you to get some qualified help. We share your pain and also share a great hope that with the right help you can sail through this storm on the sea of life.
My prayers and thoughts of rapid recovery for both of you come from a very sincere and concerned heart.
Please don't give up. One thing for sure....things change and life could take on a whole new positive perspective for you both, anytime.
Sincerely, Di

Di, words of wisdom that you posted.Thank you for sharing.
I felt like you and I went through closely the same situation. My perception of Life sculpts my attitude of Life. I still have bad days;however, seeing my psychologist every 2 weeks assist me in focusing toward a positive ,rather than a negative, perception of living Life to the fullest.
I have a supportive hubby and son, and I let them KNOW that I appreciate that support.

Robert..chin up, know that you are supported by friends here.I am sorry you and your wife are having a difficult time. RSD effects/affect the entire family and friends of the RSD patient. I hope both of you reach out for help by therapy. Both of you are experiencing pain through isolation, and this pain can be faced together by supporting each other. It is not a you over her..or her over you situation. Both of you need to feel safe to communicate with each other. A therapist can foster that safe zone to a point where you and your wife will be able to communicate freely as you did once before in your relationship.

Thanks everyone very much for your support. I am lucky that I have a group like you that I can vent to that hears me and that cares. Jo*Mar, than you for your advice, I edited my message.

I am trying to obtain a referral for a new PM doc in RI who has seen RSD patients - my PT recommended him to me. I am hoping that he will know of a shrink that deals with people like me. And that accepts my next to useless insurance, since I know that WC will never approve it.

I had my 6th SGB on Friday, and a few of my symptoms are slowly abating. If I remember to take my percocet my head doesn't hurt. My shoulder and neck pain appear to have become sympathetically independent, but my feet, legs and back definitely responded to the block.

But it is slowly killing me inside that the people that did this to me will never be held responsible and that the WC adjusters continue to be so evil. None of the training I've had in life (even being raised as a Marine Corps pilot's daughter) could ever have prepared me for this. There is truly no justice in this world.

Sandy,

Please get to a psychologist ASAP. You are more than your salary. You are more than the body that you live in..we all are. Talk of suicide only makes your pain worse. You are loved and supported here.

The aftermath of suicide is hell on the family, your friends, and all that you have come into contact with on this earth. WC is a monster, I am living that hell,myself. I will not let WC win...take a deep breath, and believe the sun will shine,again.

Dew

Suicide,
The thought runs through my mind often enough.
I even found myself looking up how to do it.
No good way.

This is a world of pain we live in. Nobody understands it.
Robert, I don't think that your sexual desires are out of the norm, it's part of your body that doesn't cause you pain. I was in two marriages, first, my wife only wanted sex to get pregnant.
Second, sex all the time. Couldn't get enough, but her craziness is now the center of my life, and a wicked divorce I'm going through..

This is a great group of people here, and I'm still a newbie.

Nobody is odd.

People around us, can hold so much sway, and after all, we give it to them, that they can make us feel like crap about ourselves!
(Your wife has an illness, with that drinking).
Don't take ownership of that, too!

Get the help you need, if your family won't, your friends will, if not, FIND friends, or professionals who will!

We're all here for you, as much as we can do.
Feel free to PM me.

Pete
ASB

Hello Sandy,

I'm sorry you are going through so much. You really need a psychologist as part of your medical team to help you deal with the side effects of RSD/CRPS. This is important to you and your loved ones.

I'm just like you I have wanted to quit at one time or another. I have full body RSD/CRPS with my lungs and heart being involved. I struggled with wanting someone to pay for what had been done to my health. Then I realized my health was the most important thing to take care of. The energy I was wasting by being angry could be used to help me learn to cope. Instead of looking for someone to take responsibility for my RSD/CRPS I needed to take responsibility for my health care. We can't control what was done to us but we can control what we will do for ourself.

Being the daughter of a marine you have watched your father learn to survive. Now it is your turn to survive. None of us do this alone we all have support. My psychologist plays a huge role in my ability to survive, he is my saftey net.

RE-read the comments in this thread as often as you need. Print them out and put them where you will see them through out your day. The advice from the other members is sound advice spoken from the heart and from experience.

If you don't have a personnel relationship with God now is the best time. He will give you a peace of mind that passes all understanding if you just ask. The day I started to end my life, becuase of pain, he stopped me. I small voice in my head said "This isn't what I have planned for you".

It's O.K. to take medication for depression and seek the help of a psychologist. God works through the hands and minds of doctors to get his work done.
May you find comfort in knowing you are loved and cared for.
Take care of you,
Sherrie

Hello Robert,

Welcome, to Neuro Talk. I wish you didn't need us but you've come to the right place. There are a lot of good people on this site with sound advice.

I'm glad you came back and did this post. I feel better about your well being. I am glad you see a psychologist. Mine is my safety net he even responds to my e-mails in my desperate time of need.

Please don't feel guilty for your wife's drinking addiction. I'm sure she does love you she has made a poor decision for dealing with circumstances that are beyound her control. She see's the pain you are going through and she can't do anything to help. Let her know if she would get help for her addiction it would be a huge help to you.

I'm glad you got some sleep. When our sleep gets messed up nothing seems to go right. Be sure to re-read these threads from time to time for encouragement.
Take care of yourself,
Sherrie

You guys are awesome and have helped me a lot this week. (You may not realize how much, and just how important it was for me to hear that others had been where I was and survived...) I have also reached out to the parents of a child who has RSD, the only other people I have met so far in RI that have first hand experience with the syndrome. They are really, really great to me (and we haven't even met yet, although the child's father and I work for the same employer, just in different locations). I also get a lot of support from my PT. He sees me twice a week. He was the first health care provider I saw that really believed in my pain, and he has supported me for many months now. He doesn't know it, but I don't know what I would do without him.

I think the side effects of meds need to be watched by all of us very carefully. I take Topamax. It increases the risk of depressive episodes. Just wanted to give the rest of you the heads up.

My head pain almost never goes away now. The SG blocks seem to work for a little while, and the Topamax prevents the disabling migraines, but the shimmering pain in my neck and head is just becoming a nightmare. Walking a lot takes my mind off of it (I did 6 miles yesterday), and not using my arms for anything too strenuous seems to help. But I think the constant pain is the biggest reason I am so depressed.

I finally got an appt with a new PM doc from RI (one that has dealt with RSD patients and was recommended by my PT) for next week. I am hoping that he will be able to prescribe something that I can take that will help with the head pain, but allow me to still work (I'm a CPA and need to be able to think all day). Percocet doesn't work well enough anymore.

I also called a Pain Pysch for an appt. Was not able to book anything until they verified insurance, etc. but hopefully they will call me back soon. (it's always all about $$...)

Robert, I PM'd you. I am thinking of you.

Thanks again for the replies and the words of wisdom. Sandy

Sandy it sounds like you are being proactive in your recovery body and mind. You should be very proud of yourself. I think for myself too as this has been a very hard couple weeks knowing that others have battled similar and made it through helps. It is one thing for a non pain conditioned person to tell you something but another to hear it from a voice who has been through it. Many thoughts and hopefully better times for all.

Sandy,

That sounds so much better! I am glad that you are actively looking for answers for your RSD. I hope your appointments all go well. Keep us posted!