I can feel your dispair and I am very sorry for your pain. I can only speak for myself, but during my 20 years of full body RSD, I have certainly experienced some of the same emotions you are both feeling.
There are qualified professional out there that can walk you through these seemly bleek times. Please both of you, seek help from a professional trained therapist.
We are all in the same boat here and having each other is what keeps us from drowning. When we comes to this point and many of us here have been there, including myself, it is time to be brutally honest with a qualified mental health practioner. I have been down in the pits and ready to give up, my brother a ER doc told me they would have to hospitalize me soon if I didn't get help. I couldn't eat. I didn't talk so my vocal chords didn't work. I couldn't walk. I couldn't leave my house. My hair fell out in hands full. Depression is very brilliant mechanism. It wraps us up in a cocoon, when the stresses are too much. Before we know it we begin to shut down completely. Chronic pain is dreadful! The loss of a life as we knew it, seems unbearable at times. I made a decision at this point (bearing my soul now) to get to a local mental health center and get the help I needed. I was losing my life, because it was more than I could bear. I got the hand up that I needed and I am still having counseling. We all experience these terrible lows, but I sincerely feel it is time for both of you to get some qualified help. We share your pain and also share a great hope that with the right help you can sail through this storm on the sea of life.
My prayers and thoughts of rapid recovery for both of you come from a very sincere and concerned heart.
Please don't give up. One thing for sure....things change and life could take on a whole new positive perspective for you both, anytime.
Sincerely, Di