Hi...I'm so lonely and sad lately...
I guess I'm just too narsisstic and not worth talking to by anyone.
I'm feeling so sad about all this...I've been crying a lot lately too,
This really cut me down to bits.
I feel like no one in this world gives a rip whether I'm alive or dead.
I don't have any family...too long/sad a story.
So I'm feeling very worthless these days....
I have very poor/low self esteme.
While growing up, I never had time to form lasting freindships because
we moved ALL the time in between the beatings my bio sperm donor gave me!...
Think it was so I wouldn't tell anyone or show the bruisings...why my mom wouldn't protect me...is sad.
Anyway...I'm just a pile of saddness, pain and always self focused because of this.
I guess I'm just not worth it...anyone ever feel this way?
I once was a top sales agent and had a great Real Estate business, then all in one season..
.my body reacted to chemicals in our new home.
Seee.God punished me for getting a new home filled with new stuff!
Then my health took a dive and I got on SSI.
Anyway...whaaaaaa! Whaaaaaa! Whaaaaaa!
CryTears
PS....Oh, and I'm feeling sorry for self too! can you tell?

Hi crytears, so sorry to hear that you are a bit down.
As far as having problems like that with internet groups, it happens all the time. Being able to say things that you probably wouldn't say face -to- face can very easily lead to conflicts and misunderstandings.
A lot of people don't really listen or read correctly, and always put themselves as the centre of everything.
don't blame yourself, as it may be to do with something else entirely. Put it down to experience, and move on.
I think it is always a good policy to avoid getting really personal in these groups. You really don't know who you are talking too, and there are some unwell people who may not be able to communicate as you would like.
So I say, you are certainly not alone in this sort of thing, it happens a lot, so put it aside and move on. I would also suggest that while you can get a lot of friendship, fun and enjoyment from forums, youn should not expect to find a true soul buddy. You might, but.....
Why would God be concerned about you and your house? I think there are enough real problems to sort out in the world before that! (joke).

Big hugs . . . .

So sorry about your dilemma. That was a mean thing your 'friends' did, but realize that these types of friends are not the same as all friends.

I'm sure you are feeling very isolated. Illness often makes us feel isolated and envious of those who feel good.

It would be a good idea for you to find a counselor to talk over these problems with.

You've already identified low self esteem and problems with your children, so now find out why this is happening and what (if anything) you can do about it.

Sometimes you just have to let go.

In some ways we (all of us in one way or another) allow this type of thing to undermine our mental health.

Those 'chat' friends have their own issues and some people enjoy making others feel bad or perhaps they need someone to feel lower than they feel?

Hard to say.

Be careful what you tell people. Chat and other posting can be more gossipy than helpful.

You do need someone to talk to. Try to find someone trustworthy. If you can afford counseling that's your best bet to start with.

Good Luck.

Tootsie

I'm on a financial/stock trading board in addition to this one. I've said this before; but it is a mean spirted and nasty, nasty place! The long term, experienced traders would chew me up and spit me out(been there 3 years). They called me mean names like hog, trailer trash and took my name (greenjeans) and turned it into a four letter word.

I was devistated and left the computer many times in tears. I ended up getting in with the wrong crowd for self preservation. I could not understand why the 'in' group didn't like me.

One day, talk of the war came up and I showed my support for the Marines. Thats when MY group turned on me. Many other things took place in addition to this, but then I was alone, humiliated, attacked endlessly....by both sides.

So I stopped writing for months and months. However, I own this stock, and felt I was entitled to write too. I eventually went back on, and much to my surprise, the 'in' group brougt me in under their wing, or protection. Now I have built relationships with that group, and they love me. Who would have known???!!! The very group that hated me before, now thinks I'm 'all that'!

Now my old 'friends' harrass, humiliate and say the meanest things about me. Even this past weekend!! My NEW friends, attack back to protect me! I zipped on a thick skin, and see very clearly now what and why this all took place. The story too long to share here.

I no longer cry over what the other group says, I enjoy seeing the new group attack back on my account, and I learned that FRIENDSHIPS ARE HARD FOUGHT AND HARD WON on MB.

The fact is, people on MB can and do look for your weakness, and because they can hide in there little computer world, they feel no guilt when they hurt someone. They don't care!

I guess the moral to the story is that you must choose friends wisely, look for clues that they may not be the friend you think they are, and be prepared to protect yourself FIRST. You will make new friends on the internet, and this lesson you've learned is probably a blessing....they were not real friends to begin with! They just enjoyed having control of their circle and when you tried to bring others in, you became a threat. The "leader" didn't like it, and thus to put you in your 'place'...they dumped you.

I'm sorry that happened! It happens all the time....I'm sure you really did do nothing wrong...and the problem is with them, not you!!

Also, God is not punishing you! We feel that way sometimes, but if we would learn to LISTEN to him...he would lead us away from the bad stuff....we choose our own path and face the reprecussions!

Sounds like your children have alot of growing up to do. I had to stop caring so much for my then 16-17 year old as she was crazy mean to me for no reason at that time. She is now 19 and worships the groud I walk on! Sometimes, you have to give tough love to get real love back....a hard road, but possible!

I hope you feel better soon. I may have over shared here....but I always feel better when I see that someone out there has gone thru similar things....and I can relate to it. The good news is that time heals and you will be a stronger and smarter person either as a Mother, Board Member, or in prayer.

that sucks sorry

yeah it seems on these forums and on others in last 2 years people ive talked to for years ignore me and friends i had wont call

partly because i dont think barack obama is the messiah

i hope you begin to feel better soon

Hey there ct. Naa, we seem to be in this mode lately, I am, I know that. I've be moaning all day too. I don't feel all that good myself lately and have many of the things you talk about happened to me too. We all need to get together and talk somewhere sometimes when we get to feeling SO Down. Right about now I feel like crawling in a hole and pulling it in after me.

Exactly. I feel lke crying right now anyway. Most of today I have felt this way. I am going to blame it on either the barometric pressure, Hormones or low blood sugar. It can't possibly be me just DEPRESSED. I have good days and bad days and today isn't good.

I'm always amazed when someone on a board treats someone bad for any reason. If you don't like what you see, ignore it and move on. Its rude, bad manners and very mean to memorialize things in writing to hurt someone. They may be 'good people' but good people say mean things too and shame on them! To say that you NEVER want to make a friend is proof you still are hurt. Why oh why would someone on a MB WANT to hurt someone? Makes no sense! I can only figure they need to bring one person down to feel better about themselves...put themselves on an (undeserved) pedastal. JMHO.

Glad you feel better

I am so very sorry to read that you are feeling lonely. I think this is an all too common problem in our society. I think having the internet helps a little with this...so perhaps it is a good and wise thing that you posted here. One thing I do wonder about though is folks who get "too" attached to friendships on the internet, might miss out on "real life" friendships, which are usually more fulfilling.

I am a firm believer in being careful with what we say. I think it is important to watch our "self talk." So, it is probably also a good thing that you went back and edited some of your post. Sometimes we can still express how we feel and be honest, but avoid all the negative stuff that can trail along.

Is there a way that you might get out and meet people one or two days or even partial days a week? Could you volunteer one or two days a week somewhere? Do you have a shut in neighbor that could use some kind of assistance from you one day a week? Could you go to an elementary school and read to the kids one or two days a week?

Although you have your own health concerns to address, you still might be able to help another person in a small way and just getting out consistently and meeting people could be very uplifting for yourself and others.

IF this is totally out of the question at the moment, another thought I had was to just get out of the house and go to the library (read something uplifting) or the park (for some fresh air).

I do hope you feel better soon.

Sometimes the internet fills a void that can't be filled in real life. We get to know each other from the inside out instead of the other way around as in real life. If people have hurt you in the past the internet, I have found, is an alternative to some of the bad things that happen to people in real life. You are safer at home. Older folks tend to be targets out there for crimes and many other things such as bad weather, car problems, falls etc.

Just throwing in my 2 cents.