Jo:

OF COURSE IT HAS A BUTTON. I already explained that I push buttons, it says 188.8 and then the L, and then you stick it in your mouth, AND THEN IT'S SUPPOSED TO BEEP when it reaches your peak temperature. 60 seconds or less.

And if it takes more than 2 minutes to get ANY READINGS, then you're dead!!!!

Last night I sat in front of the computer while I was at Neurotalks and I left the thing in my mouth for 3 or more minutes.

It actually reached 98.9. Not a beep out of the stupid thing.

And the fever alarm. Well, that's SUPPOSED to be a built in thigamagig, that ALERTS you immediately if it goes over 100 and it supposed to do 5 rapid beeps.

I HAVEN'T HEARD A BEEP OUT OF THIS ONE YET!!

Now let's address Who Moi:

THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING I EVER READ.

I am now off to my breakfast. Alan is still sleeping and is nice and cozy. I was awakened at 2 p.m. by the darnest leg spasm on my left foot that I got out of bed, took a handful of epsom salt, made a paste, slathered it on my left foot and put a sock over it.

Then I crawled into my air conditioned bed room and put a hot pack (warmed in the micro), on my calf. I figure CALF, FOOT PART, who cares. The warmth will relax the muscles.

It worked in 2 seconds flat. Went off to sleepy time.

I think all this stress about thermometers, well it brought it self out in my body as SPASMS.

I used to get them years ago.

Thought I grew up.

Guess not.

AND I DO TAKE MAGNESIUM EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I take Magnesium Mallate.

God, I hate spasms.

AND THERMOMETERS.

I will buy the B & D one today.

I'm going to the Russian Drugstore on 20th Avenue where I normally get everything and they guy always talks to me and explains everything. That's where I learned about Activated charcoal tablets for gas, and all the other stuff one buys in the drug store.

I only go to CVS because it's near where I eat my breakfast.

But after returning the newest thermometer which I will do later, well it's no more CVS for me.

I'm going to the Russian Drugstore, I'm going to buy the B & D one, I'm going to pay for it, open it up and take my temperature right in front of the Russian Pharmacist.

If that sucker doesn't beep, then I'll know for sure I'M DEAD!!!!

No body temperature that registers.

Will update.

lol

We use an ear and forehead digital. If one seems off, I use the other. So far I like the forehead one. If your sweaty it says to take it below the ear and that works too. Just a thought. lolololololol

What the heck is an ear and forehead digital.

I have seen the one you stick in the ear. The drugstore (not CVS), I went in yesterday (just so I could see their supply of thermometers), well they had two ear ones. One was $25.00 and the other was a Braun and that was $49.99. That one is ALWAYS $49.99.

So if a person were to spend $49.99 on a thermometer, it better BEEP, WINK, SIZZLE AND FEED YOU A STEAK.

There's a machine that you put on your forehead and in your ear (or by your ear)??????????????

God, I know I'm an old lady, but what the heck happened to a simple device that takes one's temperature.

Well, I have not returned the CVS one yet. It's over 8 blocks from my home. I have the receipt and I'll do that later.

HOWEVER!!!! Drumroll please!!!

I went out to breakfast (near my house, not near CVS), and said "why not go to Bi-Wise, it's been there for over 20 years and they SHOULD KNOW THERMOMETERS.

Alan gets his prescriptions there.

Oh, I should tell you. I live on 19th Avenue in Brooklyn NY. Only one block around the corner, takes me to 18th Avenue.

Want to know how many drugstores there are between 70th Street and 64th Street on 18th Avenue??

12

That's right. 12 Drugstores. There are one (sometimes two) on each block.

So I have PLENTY OF DRUGSTORES TO BUY THERMOMETERS, baby wipes, anything I need.

The bigger chains, like CVS, and Silver Rod, well these ARE BIG DRUGSTORES.

All the others are simple little drug stores (or Pharmacies) don't know what they are called in your neck of the woods.

And guess what is opening up on August 15, smack dab in the middle of all these drug stores??????

A BRAND NEW WALGREENS.

Yup, that makes 13 drugstores. Can't wait for that one.

This morning, after breakfast, I walked to Bi-Wise, marched up to the counter and told the owner "I would like a working thermometer".

He said "what do you mean a working thermometer??"

I said "ONE THAT BEEPS".

He knows me and said "Melody they all beep".

I said "oh no they don't"

Then he walks me over to a wall and shows me the various B & D brands on the wall, right next to the Braun ear one and the Vicks stick it in your mouth one.

Oh yes, There are B&D ones that are flexible, that are not flexible, that beep in 9 seconds, that has vitamins, minerals, and cook you a steak. There are Rapid one's, and non-rapid ones". ?????????????????????????????

I said "I WANT ONE THAT WORKS"

He said "they all work".

I said 'Pick one for me".

So I am now holding the B & D RAPID DIGITAL THERMOMETER that is LARGE, EASY TO READ NIGHT LIGHT DISPLAY, READ-OUT IN EITHER FAHRENHEIT OR CELSIUS.

(Oh my god, if I have to translate this thing from Celsius to Fahrenheit, I'm a dead duck)

FAST 9 Seconds Temperature Read -OUT (OH SURE, THIS ONE'S GOING TO BEEP, RIGHT??)

We shall see.

Oh, it says "GUARANTEED FAST, ACCURATE READINGS.

I feel like I just bought my first home!!!

lol

Well? Any results?

OH YEAH!!!!

This one doesn't beep either.

What the heck do I have on me? A CURSE FOR NON-BEEPING THERMOMETERS.

I just took my temperature ( I do know how to take it, believe me.)

You push the button, (IT'S SUPPOSED TO BEEP WHEN YOU PUSH THE BUTTON), (it says so in the directions). then it does the 188.8 thing, then it says OK, then it says LO with a Flashing F

Then you stick it in your mouth.

Well (and I did this 3 times), just to make sure.

It says 98.6 and the flashing F stopped Flashing, (that's how you know it's your actual temperature).

But it never beeped.

So what did I do.

I called the company.

I got the customer care person and I said:

"All I want is a thermometer that beeps, is that too much to ask?"

She said: "I'll be happy to assist you with that matter but first I have to ask you some questions". blah blah blah.

I gave her the required name and address and phone number.

then she says:

"Press the button and tell me if it beeps" I said: "I'll go you one better, I'll hold it up to the phone". and I did and I then said: "Did you hear the beep?" and she said "no" and I yelled:

"THAT'S BECAUSE THERE'S NO BEEP!!!!

She then said:

"I'm going to send you a $12.00 coupon good for any of our B D products"

I said:

"I don't need $12 coupons, I need the thermometer to beep, why doesn't it beep"?

She then said "oh, I don't know but I can tell you that it doesn't have to beep to give you a correct reading, the fact that the F stopped flashing and it locked at 98.6 tells you that you do not have a fever".

OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So she's sending me the $12.00 coupon anyway, along with a pre-paid label to ship this one back so they can figure out why it doesn't beep.

I should have send her the other two that didn't beep.

I now have to walk to CVS and return the one from yesterday.

I am now stuck with B D one that gives me the reading but doesn't beep. (I held it each time in my mouth for over one minute.

It is supposed to beep after 9 seconds. That's why it says B D RAPID.

I should do an informercial on Thermometers that don't BEEP!!!!

oh my god, I sound like a madwoman, I know.

But jeez, 3 thermometers in 2 days none of them Beep.

I CAN'T WAIT TO GET MY NEW DIABETIC METER THAT IS SUPPOSED TO COME BY FED EX EITHER TODAY OR TOMORROW.

I'll probably have to stab myself 3 times to get enough blood.

And I can't even tell Alan that I bought this B D rapid thermometer.

He'll have me committed.

lol lol lol

AARRRGGGH!!!!

All this Thermometers talk got me thinking...I dug out mine. It is a Vicks.

It beeped when I pushed the button and reads 188.8 and then --- and then I take the temp...seconds later..beep..beep...beep...beep and it reads 96.8

Holy Cow! That's way below normal!

Maybe it doesn't work?

What's Up??

It's that the powers that be DO NOT WANT US TAKING OUR TEMPERATURES.

And don't worry about 96.8. If you read on the internet, if you have a body temperature reading lower than 98.6, it means you'll live longer than the average person because your body expends less energy output.

How's that?? You'll live to be 100.

As for me?? I'll live to be 100 without HEARING ANY BEEPS!!!!!

lol lol lol

P.S. just got back from CVS and returned yesterday's second thermometer of the day.

I'M NOT BUYING ANOTHER THERMOMETER.

I refuse to give in to the Capitalistic Pigs and their views on THERMOMETERS!!!


DOWN WITH THEM... DOWN I SAY!!!!

lol

Ok, I have to agree, thermomiters are enough to drive you insane. The mercury ones are condisered leathal. (I know, right, we have been sticking these things into our mouths, nevermind, up where the sun don't shine) And the didgital ones are enough to drive you insane. Mine will:
come on: BEEP
Flash: BLINK, BLINK
Turn to a steady: L
Then you stick it wherever you have a mind to.
After about 9 seconds it Beeps: BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.
And you take it out.
It reads: 97.3 (or something below 100)
OY. You try it all again this time you leave it in for another 10 seconds after the beep. You get something 2+ degrees higher than if you had just taken it out when it beeped.
I don't trust thermomiters. I think they are out to get us. They don't want us to know we have a fever.

My Dr. used to use a forehead and cheek one. (It was like you would place it against your skin, and it would give you a temp.... and yes, it did beep.) He would get different #'s based on what side and what part of my head he was on.

I now refuse to take my temperature any longer.

I feel fine. I went to the bathroom.

(For me, any day that I go to the bathroom is a great day).

I also went shopping and purchased two nice tops.

Any day that I can go shopping and find two nice tops (in stripes yet!!) and I look okay in them, WELL THAT'S A GREAT DAY FOR ME.

I was sitting on the porch of my friend's house last night. She felt my arm and said "You feel warm to me, you are clammy" I said "I am not warm". Her daughter felt my arm and said "are you crazy, she's cool as a cucumber".

I was.

Why did she think I was warm? Because I was sweating. IT WAS 95 DEGREES OUTSIDE.

Anyway, MY PASTA N MORE CAME TODAY.

I shall continue on THAT thread.

Oh the joy of cooking Pasta without carrying heavy pots.

IT'S GREAT!!!!!

LOL