I'm Scared - What am I getting into??

DM · 04-07-2009, 02:27 PM

I'm still thinking of you too, Holly!!!

hollym · 04-07-2009, 04:08 PM

So far so good. There were a few roadblocks (no bags for the feeding pump, no med list from the nursing home, the first pump didn't work, etc.), but we got those worked out today.

I'm becoming a pro at crushing up pills and dissolving them in water to put them through the tube. I also managed to set up the new pump, prime it and hook her up for feeding all by myself reading the instructions because the nurse was gone by the time they brought a functional pump.

Tomorrow, she has to go back to the hospital to have the PEG tube looked at because it is leaking. They are also going to do a head CT to check on the swelling by her right ear to see if it is an infection or tumor growth.

She is confused by the nurses being here. She can't wrap her mind around the fact that she is in my home but it feels like a hospital part of the time, too. She knows she is dying now, though. She kept forgetting before, but I guess having hospice makes it real. She said she wished that we could just put people to sleep like we can with animals. She said it is stupid to do do all this crap and just wait to die. She is right, I think.

So far, hospice has been a good experience. They are taking care of everything that I want them to. I think it's going to be OK. I hope so.

gardengrl · 04-07-2009, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hollym

She is confused by the nurses being here. She can't wrap her mind around the fact that she is in my home but it feels like a hospital part of the time, too. She knows she is dying now, though. She kept forgetting before, but I guess having hospice makes it real. She said she wished that we could just put people to sleep like we can with animals. She said it is stupid to do do all this crap and just wait to die. She is right, I think.

So far, hospice has been a good experience. They are taking care of everything that I want them to. I think it's going to be OK. I hope so.

What you are doing is so Wonderful! I would Never trade the last minutes I had with my grandfather. I held his hand the entire evening he passed.

If you think about what would make YOU most secure if it were you in that bed....then the rest will follow, very naturally, lovingly, & peaceful.

I pray for your family & for the love of all those around you to help you thru this time.

kimmie · 04-07-2009, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hollym

I am bringing my Grandma home with hospice on Monday.

Many of you know the story, but for those that don't...

In January, she was dx'd with small cell lung cancer AND she also fell and broke her hip and wrist. We did a trial of chemo for one course and she did not respond well. In fact, she really went downhill. She has been in the hospital for over 30 days since January, then went to a long term acute care hospital for 21 days and has been in skilled nursing for the rest of the time.

She cannot walk and is not even strong enough to sit for very long. She has lost the ability to swallow and now has a PEG tube for enteral feeding. Her electrolytes and hemoglobin continually go out of whack.

We made the decision together a couple weeks ago while meeting with the oncologist to discontinue chemo. She said she doesn't want to live like this. I can't say I blame her. She hates being in the nursing home so it's time to bring her home.

I am terrified about how I'm going to handle this and how my kids will take it, but I really feel like this is the right thing to do.

I am excited in one way to be home. I have been running non-stop for 2-1/2 months between work, kids, the house, and trying to see her in whatever facility at least once a day. Now, we will just be home. Maybe I can even get my house clean again (I can at least hope)!

I don't know how much longer she will be with me, but I really hope this can be a positive experience (as much as that is possible).

I THINK YOU WILL HANDLE IT FINE. YOUR BRINGING HER HOME .THATS THE FIRST STEP. YOU, SHOULD TO BE A LOVEING FAMILY. THATS WHAT MATTERS. OUR PRAYS ARE WITH YOU AND YOURS GOD BLESS KIMMIE

NurseNancy · 04-08-2009, 05:50 PM

holly,

i didn't know about your grandmother, i'm sorry.
blessings to you and your family.
and prayers for your grandmother's peaceful passing.

weegot5kiz · 04-10-2009, 10:46 AM

Holly

hollym · 04-10-2009, 03:45 PM

Everything is really going OK. I am so pleasantly surprised. This hospice organization is really amazing. Anything we need / want to help her is delivered pronto. They really seem to be very adept at getting action, too. They were able to get her a pain med that actually works for her. They offer so many services for us that I can't believe it.

When Grandma had to get to the hospital by 9AM to get her feeding tube changed (the old one was leaking), they arranged to have an aide here by 6 AM to get her cleaned up and dressed and an ambulance here by 8AM to transport her to the hospital (because my house is really not wheelchair accessible, they have to take her out on a stretcher).

They are here to support us, too. They have respite care if we need it. They have bereavement counseling if we want it. They are also sending me out a book to help me talk to the boys about it.

Yesterday, the aide that comes out every day even gave Grandma a manicure. She also said that she will change Grandma's sheets once a week. Some of this stuff is so unexpected. The social worker said that when she passes, we don't even have to worry about calling 911 or the funeral home, just call them and they take care of all of that. She also said that they would call the Red Cross to get my brother back from Iraq. I was just blown away.

Now, if I could just find some energy to get stuff done around the house now that I'm home more....

Twinkletoes · 04-10-2009, 03:57 PM

holly, as time goes by you will find out that there are even more surprises from Hospice!

There were volunteers (older married couple) that visited my Dad. He Loved the attention he got from the lady, in particular. She held his hand while she talked to him, and kissed him on the forehead each time as she left.

That couple visited about half a dozen terminally ill patients throughout the county every few days. And there were others like them who did the same thing on a volunteer basis.

Bless your heart for caring for your dear Grandmother. I hope you find some of that elusive energy.

Curious · 04-10-2009, 04:07 PM

I am so happy everything is working out so well.

Give them the name of the mortuary you have chosen too. They will make all the calls.

Just enjoy Grandma. Keep creating memeories.

hollym · 04-10-2009, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Curious

I am so happy everything is working out so well.

Give them the name of the mortuary you have chosen too. They will make all the calls.

Just enjoy Grandma. Keep creating memeories.

They asked for the mortuary info and that is when they told me they would handle all of that. I am so blessed that Grandma already planned her final arrangements and prepaid it. So I do not have much to do in that regard. We transferred all that info to the funeral home here so everything is all set up.

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