Thank you all for being here for me.

yes i am inclined to think after reading your posts probably what is going on is related to the benzo reduction, at least in part.

Bizi... (thanks for dropping in on me here, btw) just a mention on the 5-HTP: it can make you manic yes, but for the same reasons any SSRI can. and the two should not be combined for risk of Serotonin Syndrome. however, with a mood stabilizer on board, 5-HTP, per se, should be alright... but... it is not well-standardized since it is sold as a supplement and not a med, and i don't believe there is an established dose range either, so it's a bit like playing Russian Roulette... my pdoc quite firmly advised to stick with the Zoloft so that was that.

i slept but i have a nasty headache of unknown origin (could be any of about 4 things again no telling) - kept waking with it too... blech what a night. so i will go for now. just wanted to drop in and say how much i appreciate you all.

(((Misti and Reyn)))... i hope you two feel better soon, also.



~ waves ~

Rhetorical? Me? Never! I have my faults (ask my husband), but insincerity in not among them. I do think you're stronger than you realize. Caring about other people shows enourmous strength of character. Think about how many "norms" out there don't give a hoot about anyone.

I just wish there was a way to make Waves and so many other people on this forum realize how wonderful you are. Heck, I'd come here if I had to pick folks to be stranded with on an island.

Cheers

I agree with you Hockey, and feel the same way! I think that is the flip side of facing adversity in illness, and other situations in our lives and not becomming bitter about it. It seems to smooth the edges of our character and gives us the gift of a strong heart and spirit. Lol....emerging from my cave for a bit....((((big hugs)))))) for our room!!!!!

Ssssshhhhheeezz ! I just realised Im bever here when I have to, feel guilty.

Waves, how are you today ?

Sorry for not reading your post before, oh man, I feel bad because you have helped me in the past more than once and would have liked to do the same for you...
Im not as good as you on talking about benzo and antidepre... I dont know much about them but... heck, I hope you are feeling better soon !!

Is zoloft working for you ??

I think the most important things have been said... we have very wise and lovely memebers here that I can see were able to help you

I think today, the only thing I can do, is, give you some hugs, and, think about you...

Tomorrow comes...

You take care.

I hope today is better for you waves....

Hi Folks,

Hi Majo.. thanks for your note of support... and it is NEVER too late! knowing about meds is no biggie. i started delving into that stuff when i first started taking meds - i do have an interest for it too, but prior to then i was clueless. just think, you surely know TONS about cell biology that i don't know. (i'm lucky if i can remember the stages of meiosis and mitosis... )

Hi Nikki... i see your "thanks" tags thanks for stopping in.

((( Hockey!!! ))) oh dear. i feel so bad. i intended that my own preceding reflections in the same post were possibly just rhetoric ... that i had just stated things a different way but maybe it was six-o-one, half a dozen of the other? i never meant to imply you were insincere - i never thought that of you at all, at any time! i'm sorry it sounded that way. i reread it i can see how it could sound like it was referring to your comments... i was more trying to say something like "or maybe i am just splitting hairs you see i have a knack for splitting hairs sometimes - that IS one of MY faults. please forgive me. i do appreciate your support.

Dear Misti - thanks for all your notes and suggestions, you have been so helpful.

Alffe!!! welcome back!!! actually i am feeling a bit better today. i haven't been on the computer the past few days at all...

----------------------------

i have been having *all kinds* of nasty symptoms. i talked to pdoc yesterday as i might not make it my appointment today - i have been unsteady and feeling "butterflies in my blood." He suspects this stuff is probably from the taper. i would tend to agree - a few other things may be that OR the Zoloft but i have not had side-effects starting it before, other than a bit of nausea, so we don't know. my mood is a bit better but not likely due to the Zoloft (takes several weeks to act). so now, i wonder if it is necessary. but it can be stopped without a problem, so i will likely continue it this week, and see. i can't increase the dose anyway till the nausea (bad this time) lets up.

i hope you are all doing as well as possible. i will try drop in later to check some other threads too



~ waves ~

I'm so sorry that you have been going through a difficult time. I hope that you feel better soon. I hope that things go better soon.

I've been having a hard time expressing myself resently. My words have been few. I'm sorry for this. BF

Oh Waves, there's nothing to forgive:I could never be upset with you. I was just trying to make the point about how hard you can be on yourself. What you are able to accomplish while dealing with your depression is nothing short of amazing. I just wish that:

(1) You'd stop feeling guilt and shame about having a MEDICAL CONDITION. Folks don't feel guilty about having arthritis or asthma.

(2) You'd give yourself some credit for everything you manage to do while managing your condition. If someone with a cardiac condition climbed a flight of stairs, we'd all applaud...

I'm clapping like a rabid seal for you!!!

Dear Steve
no need to be sorry. i understand how it is not to be able to post ... it happens to me sometimes. i was glad to read that you had a good birthday and i hope you continue to have brighter days.

thank you so much for your note of support. it means a lot to me.

Dear Hockey
i am glad you are not upset with me.

you know the guilt / shame is not about any condition per se. but for iinstance, right now, i can't help feeling like i went and screwed things up...

first, i did think about the class before hand and could have chosen not to make any benzo reductions until that class was over (assuming i got in). second... i can't help thinking sometimes there is a performance anxiety thing involved that... well, goes beyond a true "medical condition."

example. freshman year college. i wanted to sing. signed up for choir (required) and made appointment with voice instructor for audition for voice class. the day before the audition i got a sore throat. i rescheduled for 2 weeks later. throat cleared up in ample time. but again, the day before the audition i came down with another heck of sore throat. actual, physical symptoms! but... coincidence or psychosomatic?

i can't help wondering if something similar happened, with this class. those voice lessons were important to me, personally. this class was a one-shot deal also, and would have made a big difference in my marketability for the work force. see what i'm saying?

as for the other thing... yes. i need to try and give myself some credit and... thank you - i am grinning trying to imagine a rabid seal clapping, right now. you funny gal, you!

thanks so much for sticking with me. hope you're holding out ok.

~ waves ~

waves, I just wanted to leave you a hug and say how much you are appreciated around here. (((waves)))