http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=883yQ...der&playnext=8

in the above song is line

Oh heaven, oh heaven
I wait with good intentions
But the day it always lasts too long
Then I'm gone
Oh heaven, oh heaven
I wait with good intentions
But the day it always lasts too long

Even my dear friend Alffe commented on the highlighted line, but seriously how many of us feel this way..............

Life in itself is the hardest task to undertake.........it is perpetually up and down........twisting turning......

at times i cant even catch my breath???????????????????

Why am i writing this.............what is this Rat in the Barrel?

I at times am so scared of life, of living.........my brain often turns off...the red stop light glares endlessly in my eyes.............

Occasionally i get an Amber light..........i rev up ....thinking i can get ready.......... alter direction, anticipate hope.......MAP AHEAD A BETTER LIFE?????????????

Most of the time my life is ON green.............where i continue on this journey absorbing the beautiful scenery, breathing in the exhaust fumes of dishwater, pain sadness misery.... intertwined with real beauty, compassion.............love....serenity........And without it meaning to happen i live a car crash mentality...............


I on a daily basis convey to people ASPIRE TO live in Hope///////
In truth i should say .....WAKE UP ..................LOOK AROUND LIFE IS PAINFULL;

I should walk around with a plaster [band-aid] protecting people from daily life......BUT I CANT

I cant even protect myself.............the ;Rat; runs around aimlessly in the barrel desperately searching for a way out..........

he does it with blind faith that by continuing to run aimlessly he will escape

As humans we have no excuse............but we consciously stay in the safety of the barrel//////////WHY?

We don't want to upset others, or our self...........so we remain running around in circles..........

do we do ourselves any favours by just existing??????probably not.............

i have reached a crossroads in my life and as of yet all the traffic lights are out.......i don't know what to do............

i know i don't want.. what all expects me to do........

i know i want change

i don't know how to orchestrate this without the world collapsing around me............

i see so many on here suffering............at times
i yell out....
.in hope it helps..........but in truth DOES IT

Do people hear resolution...do we here solution...
do we only hear what we wish to hear at a specific moment in time...............do we live in a barrel?

David

I do David.

David....dear dear David.. Right away your post reminded me of the Bug in the Cup....remember?

The Bug in the Cup

"For the moment you are like that bug trapped in the bottom of a cup. How you got in the cup, I don't know. How you will get out of the cup will be, most likely, a result of something you do, or what someone helps you to do. And, just maybe, I can help you a little.

The example of a bug trapped in a cup is used to illustrate a major problem we all face from time to time: namely, that once we are trapped in a situation, our solutions are limited by what we can see. We have walked around and around inside our cup and, seeing no way out, we decide that all hope is finished and that we are forever trapped. We climb up, but slip
back down. Everything we try fails. Then, when we are convinced there are no possible escapes left to us, we become depressed and helpless and hopeless and, sometimes, suicidal.

While human beings are bigger and supposedly smarter than bugs, I am not so sure that, when it comes to getting ourselves out of the cups we find ourselves in, we always do a better job of it. Once we are into a particular set of problems, I am not so sure all of us can think our way out of them - at least all by ourselves."

Loosely taken from Suicide: The Forever Decision by Paul Quinnett.

Everything changes...constantly. That's why I am forever saying that the black hole of depression has sides. That line really did jump out at me...at that particular time and at that particular moment I might have thought that not only is the day too long but life is too long. Today I might feel differently about it.

Life is hard and as I keep telling my dear husband...old age is not for sissys. Baby steps....baby steps until we can skip again.

You are still young enough to have choices in this life. Keep talking...
you can't know how helpful you are.

(((David))) Thinking...thinking...of what to say.

Well, I know part of the reason for my struggle with depression is headline news. No, not the headline news we are subjected to by media every day. My OWN headline news.

I fuse with my headlines, my stories. And I do a really good job. What else do people call that? Ah, ruminating. Those stories of my life that go into auto play...without me even trying. I think any of us who fight 'the beast' on a daily basis, understand what that is. Fixating on a thought that does us absolutely no good, whatsoever.

Every day I can count on at least one of my stories occupying my mind. And again, it does absolutely nothing for me but cause stress, anxiety, and depression. That's why I call them my Headlines. BOOM! In my face each day and I get sucked into that headline.

And yes, I can relate to the green light, the yellow light, and the red light. So, you are not alone in that respect. We are alone, though, with our own headlines.

And yes, I agree with you that oftentimes we hear only what we want to hear. Especially with depression. We can tell someone over and over what we think will help them, but oftentimes to that person it sounds like too much work. So they go on to the next suggestion. But of course, our own ideas/solutions don't always work for others.

I'll share what I've been working on, which I have here before...but I have a feeling most take it as...oh yeah, whatever! I've begun practicing Mindfulness (And yes it takes work, patience, and practice but it's also worth it when you reach the place where your headlines are replaced with a calm). Mindfulness is also one of the reasons I've often recommended the book Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff. And there are SO many other good reads out there about mindfulness.

In fact, mindfulness has been recognized by the NIMH as an important tool in lessening those times when a person goes through a major depressive disorder. (Surely a lot of us understand how awful it is to suffer a lengthy major period of depression...not just your ordinary 'I feel like crap' day.) I'm happy to say it has helped with not focusing on my headline news items. And of course, antidepressants, anxiety med, and my wonderful therapist. (A lifetime of living our headline news takes an effort to change.)

Also, NIMH recognizes that self-compassion underlies problems with self-esteem and those of us with depression. We have to learn to love ourselves, and treat ourselves as we do others. Being supportive of ourselves as we try being supportive to others. What a thought, huh? Having compassion for ourselves.

This beast is a bad one (((David))), dear man. I have to tell you, though, when I see your wise words, I feel better. If that helps you any. So when you flail...it just makes me want to wave a magic wand and grant you serenity for the rest of your days. Well, truthfully, anytime someone here is suffering, I wish I had that magic wand. For myself, too!

Like you, I try to find the beauty in every day life because it is there every day to see. That beautiful sky...the wind rustling through the trees...flowers...you know, all of those things.

And I'm really rambling here. We care for you David. You're a wonderful part of this community.

Doody bless ur heart........LMAO............today i spent 8 hours in a training session Mindfulness cognitive behavioral therapy..........maybe my sour tone came from accepting WHAT IS AROUND ME,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,FORGIVE ME,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,but mindfulness is beautiful thing

only at times You see reality the of life .......today i did...........

Alffe..........the line you acknowledged,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,is but fleeting...............and i totally accept that...........but.when it was up there previously

you acknowledged it...........for 2 mins i was not alone......that was my point [a connection with another living soul]

What a coincidence! There are many ways to practice mindfulness. You just have to find the one that you're comfortable with. What I found, so far, cracks me up. My therapist was impressed and said I did a good job of describing what happens during my mindfulness times. It's awesome putting those headlines out of sight but sometimes...I start to hear monkey chatter in the back of my head...trying to make it through. It interrupts the process, but I just go right back into my 'session'.

It is interesting. Suddenly you start to hear a thought mumbling in the background but getting back to the mindfulness is a triumph! One thing I like about it is that you can practice it anywhere at any time.

Anyway, quite coincidental what you did today, I'd say!

And I keep my life seatbelt on at all times. Just never know when that red light is going to stop you in your tracks.

Oh, and another good one, David. Wherever You Go There You Are, by Jon Kabat-Zinn.

Hmmmmmmm. Wherever you go...I may have to get that book Doody. Mr.Alffe got a Kindlefire and he has been listening to the Dali Lama read by Martin Sheen and he loves it! Raves to me about the "common sense" put so eloquently.

Something made me think of George Harrisons quote..If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there.

i have deleted this

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