3) A female Prow ROFL!!

Doody

Yeah, I guess that's all people can do. Still, it's only supporting the cause - not the individuals or families. IMO, supporting the cause is supporting the war. This is why it confuses me when people say they "support the troops" - is it the people or the cause?

For example....

IF my son comes home with explosive anger issues, can I count on these same people to support my son - or will they try to have him thrown in jail? IF my son accidentally caused a tragedy due to his anger issues, it would make me the mother of a criminal. Can I count on these same people to support me in my time of need - will they try to help me help my son?

Can I count on the military to support me and my son IF he becomes a criminal due to anger issues/trauma they instilled into him - or will they throw him in jail and take away my honor?

I highly suspect the answer to these questions is a resounding "No support for you!!" At the very least, I can only count on the support of my closest friends and family.

So yeah, the phrase still confuses me.

We begged our son to tell us what we could send him to make it a little easier for him. The ONLY thing he wanted was for his girlfriend to have a camera like his. She REALLY wants one like his, so he is sending us the money to buy it for her. It made me SO proud - the only thing he wanted for himself was for his girlfriend to be happy. Aw. Better yet, he refused to let us pay for the camera.

After my husband got off the phone, he said to me "Seriously, mom, how are you and dad - and how are you doing financially?" I told him not to worry - we're not eating cat food for dinner. He told me if he's not back by the time we get to that point, we should start with dog food - more nutrition.

Kathy kathy kathy...you're getting ahead of yourself again. Home with anger issues and causing accidents....becoming a criminal???

*whisper....don't try Alpo

Thanks - I wouldn't think of it, Alpo...I mean Alffe.

I'd probably start with those old Milk Bone dog biscuits. When we were kids, my friends and I were sitting out in the back yard and dared each other to eat one. We were all brats, so we all took the dare and bit into the biscuit - then said "hmmm, not bad." Never developed a taste for them though.

Supporting the troops is not supporting the war. I have supported my husband and the squadron and individual military members for many many years. So please Kathy, do not put words in anyone's mouth. It is not the same thing. There are many of us who support the military in times of need. I have done lots of volunteer work as I have already told you. I have for years even with the disability I have.

It's tragic that so many of our service members need to seek out these services. I know that it is difficult for a proud service member to admit that they have a problem and seek out professional assistance. The first step to healing is to admit that you have problem. Working with veterans can be a very rewarding effort. I know that the time I have spent doing volunteer work has been some of my best volunteer time.

Let me go a little off topic here just a bit so I can make a point about what they don't always tell you. My husband left on a "6-month cruise." That's what the squadron was told when the ship pulled out of port. 11 months later they returned home, yes, 11 months, not 6. It's all part of what he did and what was expected of the lifestyle he chose.

Kathy, you are missing the point of what the military is about. It's a lifestyle, not a job. It's 24/7, 365 days a year. It's not a 9-5 job that you go to each day. Being negative will only cause you stress.

He was in the Navy at the Commander-in-Chief's discretion, period, end of story. When he decided he wanted to retire from the Navy, he had to ask permission. It could have been granted and it could have been denied. Sometimes retirement requests are denied and sometimes they are granted. It all depends upon the needs of the military at the time the request is reviewed.

Be proud that your son wants to serve his country and hold your head high. I certainly would, and do.

Cheryl are you still manning the garden store? Left you a couple of questions that I really need help with.

Hugs for the room.

Thanks Cheryl.

I'm just fretting and need to vent my worries while I sit here by the window waiting for my son to come home. I've been blindsided too many times in life, and I hate it when I'm not prepared for the blow. I've also seen too many promises broken, so I need a lot of reassurance it will never happen. That's impossible though - can't predict the future.

It would be different if this had been my son's career choice, or if he had been compelled to join in the fighting to support the war. He's never had any desire to join the military. He was just desperate to go to college and find a job in the music business. We were desperate for him to start doing something with his life because my illness is getting worse.

The recruiter told him if he signed up for two years, he'd qualify for college benefits toward his degree and start taking classes right away. It's been four and they didn't tell him he could only take classes pertaining to the Navy that would not transfer over to his college of choice. They also told him he would only be serving in the South Pacific - like my father. They told him it would be a good way for him to honor his grandfather. We liked that idea.

There are times when I get so sick I don't think I'll make it out alive. Obviously I always do, but there is no guarantee that it will always be that way. It would destroy my son if I died before he came home.

Again, just venting my anger over the situation and really wish they would have been up front with us from the start.

(Alffe pounds her head against the wall and says "NOW she's died and gone to heaven!")

LOL (((((KathyM)))) Have I ever told you I wuv u?

I am so thankful that you (we!!!)have this forum of support!

I JUST KNOW your son will be home a lot sooner than you think!

Addy

I DO agree with that statement, Alpho!

I was reading this and was just going to stay away from it but then someone requested a tutu...LOL

you know, I always try to see things from both sides. I don't always succeed, but I really try.

I am not being pusillanimous about the subject...it is just that I know it's a touchy one and I am not sure what
I can say, really...I am just not that smart.

I grew up in a town, considered deep south with a military(Air force) base there and the whole town kinda thrives around the base folks. Every few years, somebody would talk about shutting it down and then the whole town would get all worked up and then rumors would fly and then, everything would be back to normal again.

Surrounding this base are farms: turkey farms, chicken farms, hog farms, cotton farms, corn farms.
And pickles...

lots and lots of pickles...their pickles are so famous you might have had it on your dinner table...

I did some cotton picking, I did some turkey spreading, and I did some pickling and have gotten myself into more than a few pickles...

I worked with farm girls, farm boys. Some of them content and willing to stick around while others dreamt of getting away.

military guys are a hot commodity there and they know it. They are men in uniform and the girls eat it up.

(now, I am just generalizing cause not ALL of them are like that!)

it is hard for a small town farm boy to compete with the cool, hot military dudes. So, a lot of them DO want to join the military.

I am not saying that they join to get the babes. I am just saying, it is an attractive option to some of them.

But they have choices. They can do other things, stay on the farm or study harder, or go somewhere...it's all about choices, well at least, to me. It is.

I know when we are at the very end of the ropes, we can barely see choices because we feel like that we don't have any. But really. There really is always a choice.

Suicide, for example. Is a choice. When one is at the end of the rope and the only choice is suicide and life. Well, there it is. TWO choices....

when I was younger, I had thought about joining the military, part of it was cause I thought, hey, the girls!!

Part of it was cause I thought, hey, I'd get to see the world, part of it was cause, I was lost...

of course, the military didn't take me cause of my disorder. And I was devastated...

I came from another country. I came here growing up being teased and feeling left out. If I can admit this without anyone hating me

I have to say that I grew up with a big part of my life hating this place because I felt left out. I wanted to go home where
I felt I belong!

I was a man without a country for awhile...I went everywhere in search of myself. I traveled to Europe and I've traveled around the country...

still lost...

but after all that traveling and meeting various folks...I grew up...and I learned that I LOVE this country...

I just didn't know how to love it cause I was knee deep in hatred for such a long time, and it was buried beneath the self-hatred...

I was blind sided...

and what helped even more, was meeting you guys (on the forums and the chatrooms) even before meeting any of you in person.
It enriched my life, it opened my myopic views, it made me appreciate the fine folks that make up this country, that I now proudly call home...

when 9-11 happened, I wished so much that I can put on a uniform and go bomb the enemy or give them an enema.

Whenever I read someone was killed over there, I felt like I wanted to do something...even though I can't stand the sight of a gun and I'd shake and tremor whenever I'd hold one...

it was just something inside that I identified with...that I LOVE this country...and I wanted to do something for it.

with that said, it doesn't mean that I agree with everything the way it is being run. There are a lot of structural problems.

When I first move to my current town, I met a guy on the base and we became fishing buddies. He showed me his house on the base, It was horrendous. I asked him how can the gov't treat our best this way. He didn't know what to say.

Some of you have been to that island to our weeding and you have seen the beautiful parts of it. But I've seen the otherside of it as well.

But there are different people living there. Some will say that they love it, some will say that they can't stand it. Some will say that they join cause they have no other choice, some will say that they join so they can fight for their country.

I've met them all, I've taken classes with a lot of them and partied with a lot of them...

the military is just as divided and diverse as we are in this here them forum. They all have an opinion on how the base should be run or how the gov't should run it.

I just listen...cause beneath all of that, there are flesh and blood and hearts behind there...and whenever one of them would talk about "unity" the others would chime in about how they are brotherhood and that they WILL watch eachother's backs.

I BELIEVE That...and after that, they'll go on and disagree again...

I've seen that there and I've seen it here...I know, well, I have to believe that after all the differences have been said and settled, that tomorrow, if someone needs a lift, the other will go and lift them up.

If I didn't believe that, I don't think I will be here posting ever again...

I am not really sure where I was going with this because I really was just going to stay out of it.
For I feel the pain of those veterans and I wish for them that they do not have to suffer the suicidal ideations.

It is tough enough being an ordinary joe like moi to suffer through the thoughts, you add in war, you add in all the other crap, PTSD, whatever, it's gotta be hard...and I wish that I could do something for them...

Gosh, I am just grateful...to be here, posting...having a choice and a chance to voice my opinion...as I value you all....

((((grouphugs))))

I worked as a bouncer when I was in college and the first Gulf War happened.

We were an hour from Camp Lejune and all the near by bases.

My boss would always tell us to cut the military guys some slack.

College towns are full of very pretty co-eds and it attracts a lot of military dudes.

of course, that's a recipe for a lot of jealousy.

Almost every weekend, we'd brace ourselves for the trouble makers. We'd ban them permanantly but there are always new ones...

after a few months of it, I got tired of it and almost quit...

I went to my boss and he asked moi why.

The first thing that came out of my mouth was:
"I hate the **** military guys...they suck!"

He stared at me a few minutes and asked what I was doing after work. It was pretty late so I told him I was just going to go home and chill...he asked me if I was hungry and would like to join him for a bite at his house, which I'd never been...

I said, sure, never passing up on free food...

I went to his house and while we were eating...he got up and came back with a box. It was a very nice lacy kinda box. Not the type a dude would use...anyways...

he opened it up and showed me his family. His father was in 'Nam. His uncle was in 'Nam.

neither of them made it back...I said something to the effect that that was a stupid war...

he acquiesced...then, he said this to me which I remember from time to time:

" don't log everything and everyone into one group. We are all different..."

with that, he showed me more photos of his dad, a lot of them with him on his dad's back or his dad holding him or his sister or both. Or his dad kissing his mom.

the photos really spoke to me...they were beautiful photos...in almost everyone of those photos, his dad was in his uniform...

he asked me if I still wanted to quit...

I told him I think about it...

I went back to work the next week...and I was more tolerant of the trouble makers...

still not sure why I am writing this...just that the memory came back to me...

OK, I'll shut up now...LOL