this sounds like a terrible situation DM.
can her dr suggest anything?
certainly there must be a solution for someone who isn't safe to be by herself.

can she afford to hire some CNA's or caretakers to help with hygiene, meals and safety? maybe in home care is the answer.

Your'e right, it is an awful situation. Being an ''in-law'' kind of makes me an outsider. (not w/my DH, but w/the sibs) When my own Mother was very ill, my DH was right beside me every step of the way and we never settled for anything but the very best care we could get for her. Those sibs are going to be sorry for the way they have treated her someday, if they even GET it.

She is having a mammogram tomorrow to check what they think is a mass on her breast, so this poor woman has been through the mill. All she wants to do is go to her own home and that will never happen. AYUP, when it rains, it pours.

OMG DM. that's awful. i pray that it's nothing.
and if it is, sometimes it's better to do nothing and give someone some quality of life. it's so important to know when to say when. and that can be the hardest choice of all. i know that from both my parents.

thank God my brother and i were on the same page. and we got our cue from my folks. we were just advocating their wishes.

Your'e right, Judy dear. She will be 83 next month, has advanced Alz and ya gotta wonder just how much she can take. My DH has already told TBIL that if the DX is serious; he does not want her to endure Chemo. She's so combative at times and doesn't understand any of this anyway.

I know one thing~ I have a new appreciation for the little things in life. I may have aches and pains on a daily basis, but I realize that I have to learn to grasp ahold of all the good things in my life. I don't make lemonaid w/those lemons~~ I make lemon meringue pie!!!! (OK, I don't bake pies, but it's a good thought)

..

Now, that I can relate to Salpal!!!

Update on MIL situation~~

I think the sib's finally understand what is involved in trying to take care of MIL, b/c on Thurs she is going to a NH Skilled care unit for a month and then probably to the main floor of the NH. DH's sis had to take some vacation time to take her home, so now they are finally getting the picture. She needs alot of care.

We feel so relieved in knowing that MIL will have better supervision.

Thank you everyone for your comments, advice and good thoughts.

We are still awaiting results from DS's tests taken yest.

i'm so relieved for your mil DM.
crossing my fingers that the tests on your ds yield answers to make him feel better.

Me too, DM. MIL being taken care of has got to be a load off of your mind.

I hope DS's tests turn out ok too. Still sending prayers..

Don't forget to take care of yourself too..

Thanks Judy and Salpal! Yes, I am very relieved about MIL's situation. The only downside is, she will be going to a NH that is in a different town, so it won't be as easy to get over there. But, I'm suspicious that it was one that would take her. Oh well, her care is what is important.

It's ironic that, this woman has never been kind to me or a Grandmother to my children. I remember feeling so bad for my kids.
But, now that she has Alz, I just can't turn my back on her. She deserves to be cared for. When my Dad was in the NH under Hospice care for the last month of his life, Mom and I made friends w/alot of the Seniors there and they always looked for us to come by. We used to visit them even after my Father passed away and take them Puffs tissues, b/c the ladies there didn't like the harder tissues in their rooms. I hadn't thought of that for awhile.