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I'd like to explain a few things~

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Old 01-14-2009, 12:45 PM #101
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DM, sounds like my MIL. When we thought she had bone cancer it was Jim and I who ran to the rescue. Probably would again even though I don't have warm fuzzies for her. haha
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Old 01-14-2009, 01:51 PM #102
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My MIL was not much of a Grandma either. A rather pretentious woman. I loved her but didn't like her style, much..
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Old 01-14-2009, 06:04 PM #103
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DM,
here's a few tips. visit at different times of the day.
watch out for the smell of urine.
and don't leave any valuables in the room.

i hope this helps her.

and how are YOU?
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Old 01-16-2009, 09:25 AM #104
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Thanks for the advice Judy, dear BUT, the proverbial doo doo hit the fan yest. The BIL and SIS took MIL to the NH and she pitched a BIG ONE, so the NH told them to leave for a bit while they calm her down. Well, I don't know what happened, but they didn't leave her there. She went WILD!!!!

SIL asked my DH when HE was going to take his turn at keeping her and he said NO WAY. He is working 6 days a wk and one mistake could cost him his job. (nuclear power) She got mad and hung up. ~~~ Guess I'm probably the dirty shirt since I don't work, but DH said there is no way in He77 that I can take that on.
The Dr's, DH and I all tried to tell the Sib's that a transfer directly to the NH from the hosp makes the transition easier, but NOOOOOO~ Now, they are seeing that MIL is just too much work to try and keep at home. It all comes down to $$$$$. Money that is hers, not theirs. *pulling hair out*


Besides, DS has an appt w/the surgeon again on Mon to decide the next step, as he is still in pain. I feel like I'm living in a Soap Opera!!! Poor DH was so quiet last night; I know he feels really bad, but he is realistic, as his Mom is up all night, wandering around, turning things on, etc. I'm at the end of my rope right now w/the BS going on.

So, we are back at square one! I know everyone has thier own set of problems, but I am really getting worn down w/all this. I was supposed to be in NC right now, but have to get DS and MIL situations resolved first. Does Calgon really take all your problems away???
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Old 01-16-2009, 09:32 AM #105
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((((DM)))))

Do you know if they were just looking or were they ready to actually leave her there?

If they were just checking out the place, they NEVER should have taken her.

The transition can be scary, but there are many ways it can be done to ease that. Her room can be already set up with familiar things. Even if they only allow framed pictures, items that she would set on her dresser, an afgan. Homey things for her.

I am so glad your DH is sticking to his guns.
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Old 01-16-2009, 09:52 AM #106
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They were supposed to leave her there and now it's all a mess. The NH had one opening and that was it. Sad thing is, the sib's don't even include us in the decisions.
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Old 01-16-2009, 10:00 AM #107
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They can still try again. She may not remember.

I know how you feel DM.
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Old 01-16-2009, 11:53 AM #108
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DM,

I have no words of wisdom, only hugs for you...
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Old 01-16-2009, 12:29 PM #109
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SallyC View Post
My MIL was not much of a Grandma either. A rather pretentious woman. I loved her but didn't like her style, much..

Mine, too. I sort of felt like I had to love her. But I didn't like her. And even more so today. Ever since her son (my DH) passed away she's not been the same. I can't say I would be the same after an event like that but she's turned her back on all of us.
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Old 01-16-2009, 12:39 PM #110
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DM, I'm so sorry for all the carp that's happening in your life right now.

I remember when we took my Mom to the nursing home. She didn't want to stay but she didn't pitch a fit....it was all very sad. My poor Dad just bawled all the way home. He felt so guilty. But.....the next day when we went to visit her she told us that she worked there!! Seems the nurses had given her some towels to fold and some old file folders to fuss around with.....and asked her to help them....and it worked!! She was content to think she was helping. We just went along with it.

Now that your SIL and her DH took your MIL out of the facility she'll think that all she has to do is cause a big enough stink and someone will come get her. They messed up big time.

Good for your hubby for sticking to his decisions.
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