Just thought I'd share some of the nice things people have said to me the past couple days.

Last night, my mom sends me a text that says "Well honestly it seems to have gotten worse instead of better and I don't think unless God heals you your gonna get better."....That's just awesome. You know, I do believe in God and when I broke down at the end of last month and begged him to heal me, I spontaneously started to heal/feel better...he gave me 5 good days....but still, that's not right of her to say that.

Today, while on the phone with an old friend...He says "Your not better yet? Damn, your screwed up for life."...I don't think he meant anything by it, probably just joking around...but things like that really get to me.

Such wonderful people I have in my life right now.

Sometimes people just don't know what to say anymore. I don't know them, but perhaps they just used the wrong choice of words. Remember, they're as frustrated with this as you are. Don't shout God out-he's a "friend" and he'll listen.

Yes I get words all the time. Well you look good. Gee thanks. I feel like crap. Or if im having a really bad day my mom will say well you never listened to me as a kid. You need to rest. Well ive been resting for seven months. When you coming back to work. Your able to walk. Yes I can walk. I cant focus, flourescent lights kill me and multitasking and stress uh no. I melt under pressure. No one understands N after awhile they stop trying.

Yep, no one understands us but US. Unless they go through it themselves, they will never understand. Sometimes I wish I looked like crap so people would know how I feel.

I'm at 7 months too. You said it perfectly...can't focus, multi-tasking and stress??? Uhhh, no. I know how you feel about the lights too. I've got my computer screen and smart phone on the lowest setting for brightness. On-coming traffic at night? Even the green traffic signal? No thank you. Sunglasses at night? You betcha.

Nick,

First, you need to put your mother's comment in context. Since she is not home much, she only sees your symptoms when she is. Your talk with her and the others may have made her think you has gone downhill just because now she knows more of your complaints.

You should ask her what she observes in you that makes her think that.

Do you text with her during the day?

To all,

These comments from others are based on they total lack of understanding your condition. How do you expect them to understand your condition?

The only way they will is if you can find a way to explain it that they will understand. Everybody needs to find the explanation that works for their condition.

When I comment about my limits with driving, I have a simple explanation. I say, "I have very poor visual memory. If I am stopped at a stop sign and the crossing traffic does no to have to stop, first, i will look to the left to see where the oncoming cars are. Then, I will look to the right to see where those oncoming cars are. But, by then, I have already forgotten what I saw coming from the left. "

I have other such explanations but that is the one I use the most.

I also explain my inability to follow multi-step instructions from memory.

And how, I can be completely focused and functioning then have a sudden sound completely wipe my memory clear, as if my memory was a chalk board and the sound was an eraser.

We can find explanations that other will understand.

If any of you have symptoms you need help explaining, post them and I'll try to help you come up with an explanation.

Remember, we are the invisible wounded. If we were using crutches or a wheel chair, others would understand.

My best to you.

Well, I think she gets the idea that I'm getting worse because...well, I actually did. Let me refresh you on a couple things...I was actually fully functional about a month and a week out from my injury. I started working, hanging out, running errands...you know, regular life. Then in September, PCS showed up at my front door with in a vengeance. That would be one reason she would think I'm getting worse.

In October when I moved back in with her, I was able to watch TV, play video games, stay on the computer all day...then as of November, I can't do any of that without serious problems. I was also able to go to stores without becoming overwhelmed and confused...not anymore.

Yesterday I explained to her that PCS sometimes don't show up for months, that's why I appeared to get worse. I have no explanation of why I can't seem to watch TV or play video games anymore.

Your right, she's not home enough to see what's going on with me. She knows of my struggles though...when I start not feeling right I text her about it, or tell her when she gets home. She knows how many times I've been to the ER, she's taken me half the times. I think I've been to the ER more in the last 4 months than I did the first 3 months of recovery.

Yesterday I broke it down for her some of the things that bother me, such as the chaos in the house, arguments and stress, bright lights, TV, dogs barking, long conversations, etc. This is the first time I've told her these things bother me...that could be another reason she thought I was getting worse because she didn't know about those things to begin with.

I have not told her of my most recent improvements yet.

Your right about the explanations thing. I've found ways to explain some of my symptoms...and some of them are self-explanatory (such as stuttering, word finding, etc.)...but I have some very complex things happen to me that I can't even explain to myself. So for those things I just say "i'm having problems right now". Or if I figure out what it is that causes me to feel like that I just say "If I do that it will cause me problems.".

I said in another thread I wished I looked like crap so people would know how I felt. Maybe I should draw #'s on my face (like they do in cartoons) and wrap a bandage around my head.

Lol

When I was complaining about the weight I have put on during the months of enforced inactivity and comfort eating my wife said "you look like it's Christmas and you've eaten the whole goose".

It was so outrageous it was funny. She can't believe she said it, and doesn't know where it came from . If I ever say anything wrong ever again, that comment is my get out of jail free card

Yeah, Nick, that's hilarious!

And Klaus, I gained a LOT of weight too. I used to be a size 6/8 (depending on the brand) and now I have a closet full of cute clothing that I can't even try on!! (At the worst point, I had lost all muscle mass and still weighed more than 50 lbs more than I did at the time of the accident.)

And I'm one of those chicks that is really into clothing and fashion - this has been a difficult thing for me to let go of. Not only can I not fit into the cute clothing I already own, but because I've been out of work for so long I can't afford new cute clothing in the appropriate size anymore. So I feel bad about how my body looks and I feel bad about how my clothing looks.

This mTBI has been an interesting trip down the road of what my self esteem consists of. I felt bad about myself for not working or being productive, I've felt bad about how much help I needed, I have felt bad about the way I look, I have felt bad about the speech impediments I've had to deal with and I have felt bad for not being "as smart" or as quick as I was before the accident too.

But my boyfriend is AWESOME, because even when I was at the heaviest I've ever been in my entire life about a year ago, he said that I still looked good.

I'm losing weight, though, just as slowly and surely as I'm still getting better. This has just been such a looooong process!!

I think there are plenty of 'chicks' who would still look fabulous after adding substantial weight to a size 6/8 body. Stick skinny is for models. Healthy women have something to grab hold of.

I was a fit 160 when I was injured. I ballooned to almost 190. I got back to 169 last summer but am back at 180 for the winter.

Meds are part of this weight issue. SSRI's make weight management difficult.

Some people just do not know what to say. Those are the ones that probably should be quiet. I am 60 female, and have no hair. I don't wear a wig, but a dew rag, cotton comfortable, and biker looking. People have asked me why I want to look like that. Did they think I didn't want hair? Have they ever tried wearing a wig in 95 degree weather? I sure have heard this kind of hurtful stuff too. God does not bring these illnesses upon us. I have also been told I must have sinned alot to have my problems, like I am being punished. I am sorry you have had to hear things that hurt too. Just remember we here at NT will always be kind and caring to you, and will try never to hurt your feelings. Lots and lots of good folks here. I have a good responce to some of that negative kind of talk, say nothing, and maybe they will figure it out for themselves. I care about you nwsmith. ginnie