[DannyT]

Funeral is this weekend and I'm unable to be in the sun or any light. All of my symptoms have returned to full force.

How do I go on? I'm so sick and tired of this. Will I ever be able to go out in the sun again?

He was my only sibling and I looked up to him my whole life. Only being 4 years older than me, we were very close as we dealt with our parents divorce and beyond.

I hate my life. I want to grieve normally. Instead I can't use any electronics or do anything to distract me from this torment. This is torture. Coming up on one year since I ruined my life with a simple accident.

Only way I wrote this was with sunglasses on. The phone screen is too much. Conversations are too much. How do you process this loss when you are so debilitated?

Crying now. Will try to keep fighting.

[Hockey]

I don't know what to say. My heart goes out to you.

Your family should understand if you can't manage to attend. Perhaps someone could Skype the service, so you could get a chance to grieve by, at least, listening to the service.

At this difficult time, try to be kind to yourself.

[Laupala]

This is terrible to hear, my heart too goes out to you, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I don't know what to say other than my thoughts are with you, and it can't stay as bad as it is right now - everything changes, and things just have to go up from where you are now.

[Mystical]

My condolences.

I'm sorry for what you are going through. I totally get it.... There will be good days and bad days - and tomorrow will be better!

Stay strong! Hang in there!

[MicroMan]

I'm sorry to hear this Danny. I can't imagine having to cope with such an emotionally powerful situation involving a dearly loved brother while enduring PCS.

My thoughts are with you.

[Lara]

Thinking of you Danny.
That's such a terrible loss.
You've had way too much loss in your life already.

["Starr"]

I'm so sorry for your loss Danny.

I can relate a bit, my mom passed away unexpectedly about a year after my injury. It was brutal.

I attended the visitations and funeral 6 hours away. I wore a hat and sunglasses the whole time inside and outside. I passed off funeral decisions to my dad and sister, no way could I make any decisions.

I stayed in a hotel instead of at my parents house like I normally do when I visit. It meant that for part of the day and night, it was quieter and away from all the heavily grieving people.

After, my recovery set back about 6 months according to my rehab team. All my symptoms flared horribly as well as a few I don't normally have.

It's ok to miss important life events due to our tbis but there was no way I was missing out on saying goodbye. So I didn't care that going was going to make me feel worse at the time, I would have always regretted not going.

You only get one chance to say goodbye.

I wish I had cut myself more slack for the way I felt after. I felt a good bit of pressure from my rehab team to keep attending appointments and therapy.

All the best to you. Be kind to yourself. Dealing with the death of a loved one is hard enough go without these injuries. My thoughts are with you.

Starr

[DannyT]

Made it there and back in one piece. The burial service was brutal but I wore a hat which helped. I was able to speak to all my brothers loved ones and I even said a few words.

All in all I made it through this first part of the newest test in my life.

Thanks as always for the support. This community really does mean a lot to me.

[Lara]

Was thinking about you Danny.
A very difficult day.
Thanks for posting.

["Starr"]

Good job. Hope you can take some time now to rest and recover.
Thanks for letting us know how it went.
Thinking good thoughts for you.