[Yellowfever]

I hate myself ever so much. I hate everything about myself. I hate that i can not keep anything organized to save my life. I hate that I mess up everything. I hate that I can not do things others can . I hate that everything about me. I should have been euthanized or aborted. I HATE MYSELF. *cries* This world is a horrible place. I hate it. I feel like I just hate everything. I am not well. I will not hurt myself. But I am extremely unhappy and feel hopeless. I will search for solutions when I come out of this negativity.

I had the worst day you can imagine.

I HATE MYSELF. I am so unhappy.

[bizi]

OMG
I am so sorry that you are feeling this way.
Didn't you get the hamster today?????
that was a good thing right?
You are being very hard on yourself.
I am glad that you said that you were not going to hurt yourself.
What has worked for you in the past to get past this negativity?
Anybody in real life that you can get a hug from?
Could you call someone and talk with them until you feel better or take a warm bath to help sooth yourself?
please be nice to yourself, you deserve to be nice to yourself.
((((HUGS)))))
I hope you feel better soon.
bizi

[Mari]

Hi,
What's happening?
Keep talking to us.
Do you have anyone to talk to in real life?
Are you alone?
M.

[Brokenfriend]

Sharla Please take a deep breath,and try to relax. You will feel better soon.

I use to hate myself,but I don't anymore. I believe you will make it to that point.

I feel a need to tell you that you where created. You have worth,and value. You are,and there will never be another you. God didn't make a mistake,and he loves you with a everlasting love,and He has a plan. We may not know what that plan is,but you are here for His reason. BF

[Isis]

Sharla, Sharla!

Don't you dare think such rubbish about yourself. You are a lovely young lady, with a promising, happy life ahead who is going through a bad depressive episode right now.
Once you are better you will be able to take complete control over your life.
Don't ever doubt it. It is the nature of this illness that is making you fee this negative. Keep telling yourself that.

Meanwhile see your pdoc and the therapist

I can't emphasise that enough.

Make those arrangements NOW sweetheart, will you?

[mymorgy]

this too will pass....and it will probably come back in another form....later...
holidays magnify our feelings. maybe i am crazy but i don't deep down think that suffering is a waste.....it can lead to peace...the opposite that you are feeling....i know it is hard for me to love myself since i am so critical....are you seeking perfection from yourself....can't you try to nourish the little girl within you and have some diagolgues with her where you can comfort her and tell her she is really at one with the universe and anything the great unknown has created can't be hateful but to be loved........i know when i feel really rotten i isolated myself which doesn't help me to pull myself out of the crisis. you have to tell yourself this will pass and eventually you will feel love for yourself....
bobby

[waves]

Dear Sharla,

I knew i was missing an important thread... this one!

I'm sorry you are feeling so rotten
remember depression makes everything seem dark and the ill feelings that float inside can easily be mis-directed... at the world, at yourself. but actually they are just feelings that occur because of your troubled state. can you tell yourself that?

Bobby is right... nobody is perfect. you are seeing some of the difficulties you have, and thinking they make you bad. they do not. we all have things that we are not good at. we all have shortcomings.

i know that you are a sweet lovable gal. can i remind you of that? since your own voice is lost in the dark right now... can you hear mine?

i hope the dark veil lifts soon.

sending you good thoughts and lots of hugs...


~ waves ~

[BlueMajo]

((((((((((Sharla))))))))

I think everything has been said... So I will just support everyone else...

This will pass... dont be so hard with yourself.... breathe...

Im sorry you are feeling this way... I have this sort of crisis quite often... but hey, they pass and, somedays Im even able to like me...

Hope you are fine now...

Come talk to us.

[Yellowfever]

Yesterday was just horrid. It was like the world around me was crumbling. I told my mom that we were God's sick science experiment. That we were His Lab rats. I was just upset to the core. There were too many things going on that day I guess.

It all started well when all of the sudden I thought about the space heater in my room. My mind told me that My house that I lived in was on fire. And all I can think about is how I ruined everything and how I should just die because of it. so I called my friend and told her to unplug everything in my r0om at this rate and take the space heater with you. Then I started crying because I thought everyone hated me at this rate and that I can not do what everyone else can. Which hurts me a lot. I can not remember if I left the space heater on or off before i leave the house. I can't explain what a loser I am for not being able to remember when I check the thing before I left the house. Then I went home and talk to my friend and she gave me a hug and said she is here for me. I felt a little better when they said that they will still love me even if the house was burned down. they told me I was more important.

Well after that i learned that my grandpa was not getting better. So I cried more and got depressed more and I could not stop being sad.

Then my best friend from middle school contacted me on myspace. Ever since 8th grade she was looking for me. My step mother was the reason why we lost contact. She forbid me to talk to her because she had a fight with my friends mom. So she has been looking for me ever since. And all this time I thought she forgot all about me, And also in the same week she was looking for me, I was looking for her. But I failed. I am glad she suceeded. So that was bit too much for me.
Then after that, could not find something I need in my clean room. And I just about had it! I tore up the room and threw things around the room. Then when I finally found it. I got more depressed and started getting angry at myself and God and then that is what happened. I have not been able to do my homework. And that is it.


I did not hurt myself. So that is good. But I thought I was losing it. It finds new ways on messing with me.

Sharla

Today was a better day. I feel better.

[bizi]

I am glad that you did not hurt yourself physically but you are hurting yourself mentally.
you are being too hard on yourself.
quit that.
I am glad that you had a better day today.
I am hoping that you have better days more frequently than bad days.
(((((HUGS))))))
bizi