Thanks for all your replies.

It is true, now I see it, whatever they think, they can think, it works, thanks wittesea!! And I don't work, so I do have the time.

Mari-you raise a good point, my relationship is being re-done, its getting a makeover, re-establishment of roles, because I am no longer just drunk all the time. So this really does have some ties to past co-dependant behavior on my part and his. He did not see I had a problem with drinking, he thought it was just the bipolar. Now I am making him aware of it, it "seems" controlling to some, I just want him to see this is what I am going through, this is where I have been, this is where I go every day and how hard it is to never taste beer or get high again.

The control thing does have to do with AA, surrender, but I am sorry on some health issues I CANNOT, just let go let god. I hate to utter that but I have to...I am trying to put it in terms of not being controlling, but I am learning to assert myself and SET BOUNDARIES to protect myself, not control a situation but boundaries is my new word.

Thanks, oh yeah, I don't have kids, he is the kid. And I am OVER that, thanks to this board, tons of therapy, and finally ACCEPTANCE.