sorry i haven't said anything in a while. Things aren't so good i guess. My parents well, my mom knows that the sleep thing is not helping me any and I think my dad knows that too. I told him I have been taking the over the counter stuff and so he is hopefull now that I can sleep again. I didn't want to get in it with him on how you can't be thinking i am going to keep taking that stuff cause we had company still, they are leaving tomorrow.

I am going to try the cpap thing again tonight I think, I have it ready, but I don't know yet. I ended up sleeping a total of 6 hours through out the day and night last night so that is a lot better than it's been in months. I don't know what to do about things at this point. Keep taking the over the counter pills till i get off the nardil in a few days or what?

I am down to 1 Nardil, I have taken myself off a lot faster than supposed to according to the pdoc, but I have had no ill effects from it, so I take 1 in the morning and that's it. I don't know if going to replace it with another anti-depessent or not, i haven't thought about it, and that pdoc said to see him in 3 weeks. so will be off the nardil by sunday probably and then see him in another 2 1/2 weeks. I don't know what to do about not being on an anti-depressent and don't know if i need to be on one, well i probably need to be on one, but right now, things are so emotional and screwed up that I don't care.
I actually have absolutly nothing to do this weekend, so I plan on, well this is what my mind and me have planned, to just sleep the weekend away. Be up for a few hours, take the pills and go back to sleep for a while, then over and over again. I know rationally not the best way to handle being so overly tired, and having my dad and step-mom home again, but right now I don't want to be awake and have to "feel" things.

My pain level has been beyond what I consider I can take today. I kept having to lean against the shower wall to wash the soap and conditioner out. I could hardly dry off and then i had to go to my room to sit on my bed to get dressed. That has never happened to me with the latest of this back problem. I had to sit on my bed and do my hair and make-up and then try and get into my mom's jeep while I had the vehicle to go and pick up some meds and go do some things before bringing it back to her.

I have been taking the pills that the doc gave me for pain and muscle relaxer like supposed to and hopefully will get the tens unit in a few weeks. The pain medication just isn't working and am having to take 2 at a time, and that isn't even working right now, at least not today, and then to add all that my ankles are 2 times their size. I am on a water pill cause i was so swollen for a while, and the swelling went down but now they are huge. I wonder if it could be from the humidity we have had the last 2 days here or the pain...i have no clue and i am not going to call the doc. about this...i feel like i am always calling that place and i will just deal with this as it comes.

I am sick of something always being wrong with me and then having to take a pill or going to the doc. for some sort of test, i am done with that right now.

I had hopes of getting a job soon, how can i even get a job if I can't walk to bring our garbage out or vacume or do the laundry without excrusiating pain 10 min. later. I just can't take this anymore, emotional and physical at the same time happens to lots of people i know, but it seems that's all there is with me for the past 2 months and I can't take it anymore.

I am 31 years old and feel like i have the body of a 100 year old who can or isn't even supposed to drive, can hardly walk and probably should be walking with a cane or something but I have been there before and that was because i had a dropped foot from a ruptured disc before surgery, this is nothing like that, just pain. Need to just suck it up and shut-up. There are people out there in much worse conditions that me and i should be grateful for what i have.

Ok, well that's my complaining again for the day.
have a good weekend
jen

jen,
I am sorry that you are in this pain.
It is not ok that you shoulkkd suffer in silence.
and it is not right that your ankles are swollen this much.
It is ok to call the doctors , that is their job....they work for us! they are paid well to help take care of us.
I hope that you can sleep with the cpap tonight....
rest while you can get caught up...try to be around other people, reach out for support. YOu need as much support as you can get.
Your relationships are really important.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Dear Jen,


I think if you sleep here and there when you can you could feel better. The swollen ankles need to be reported to the doc.
Good luck with the cpap tonight.

The tens unit can help the pain lesson I hope.

By any chance are you taking potassium since you are on a diuretic? You could probably take magnesum too -- but take the kind that is absorbable.


At a time of depression, pain, and not sleeping and so on, you don't need to make things worse about thinking about the big picture of what is going to be.

Focus on one day at a time. Sometimes, one minute at a time is even better.

Complaining here is fine. I think you are isolated, so talking to us might be a good thing if it helps a bit.


M.

Thanks everyone,
you are all so nice to me an I do really appreciate it.

Yes I am taking potassium because am taking the water pills. I just don't understand why everything else isn't swollen anymore and my ankles are huge. i wrapped them with ace bandages till just now, not too tight but just snug enough to stay on.

My dad was thinking that if I do call the doc. on monday about it asking if should get support hose or something like that? I don't know anything about that kind of stuff. I have never ever had this problem before except after a surgery my ankle was swollen but not this size.

I was thinking if it was just one ankle it could be a blood clot of some kind but it's both and my dad looked at them and said they look so painful, they aren't though. My toes are a little sore but other than that ok.

So I only slept about 2 hours. Yeah it's only about 3am but I am wide awake and I don't think am going to take anymore of those sleeping pills till tonight, not feeling the best right now anyways. The headaches get pretty bad in the morning and so i just try and lay with ice over my eyes. I tried that this morning and I couldn't lay still so I got up and now am on here.

You are right, i have to take things little by little. The reason i brought up the job thing is because my mom and I were talking about it Friday and when I met with my therapist I told her I wanted to get a job, but she doesn't think that mentally I could handle one right now and now physically i can't hardly walk...what a mess I am...a wreak. I let myself know that with my self-talk, but my step-mom occasionally lets me know the same thing. Maybe now that they were gone for a while things will settle down here for a while and go back to "normal" if possible for a week or two. I haven't workesd since May of last year and had to quit that job of 3 years because i was too depressed to work some days. Didn't want to get fired so I quit.

I tried the cpap again last night, and last maybe 15 min. I feel like am being sufficated with it, I never had that feeling till recently and so am not real sure about it. I have tried the other masks and couldn't stand those either, so I don't know what can be done if anything. Maybe just go without, or my specialist may have to increase the air pressure a little to make it feel a little less suffication like...don't know if any of this is making sense cause it's not in my mind.

Take care everyone, and again thanks for all the support and advice I do really appreciate it. i am really sorry if I am complaining and there is ALWAYS something wrong, nothing positive right?
Hugs,
Jen

Hi,
The ankle swelling could be caused / aggravated by the Nardil
As you finish coming off the Nardil and kind of de-tox from it, the swelling could come down.
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/e...cle/003104.htm

You can elevate your legs when possible.

Here is a huge list of meds that can cause swelling:
http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com/e/edema/medic.htm

Soaking your feet in Epsom salt (magnesium) or even taking a bath for the whole body can help I believe. Also, the magnesium can relax you.


Actually, this is a good idea.
You could put it on for 15 minutes in the daytime and start getting better used to it.
Or in the daytime you can become more cognizant that something is wrong with the machine setting.
When that has happened to me -- that I didn't feel that I was getting enough air -- I started hitting the buttons until the air flow was better. Sometime I knock over the machine or drop something on it so something can hit the buttons and I supposed they need to be turned on.
It's not like I am going to ask for a manual or try to figure out how the machine thinks, but I am willing to touch buttons until I get an improved result.

When you see the sleep specialist again he/ she can check out the mask and machine for you.
Or even better, place a call and ask if there is something you can try before your appt.

My sleep doc and his PA are pretty good about helping me.
They read the computer card and can see a lot of what is going on home.
Also, your people should be able to observe you in the office.

I remember the sleep doc telling me that a certain percentage of people cannot get accustomed to the mask -- maybe almost a third. But my doc is pretty motivated to get people to become happy about the mask and machine.

You did give us some positive news -- that you had a little bit more sleep recently. That is practically a break through. We can hope that the change will trend upward.

M.

Mari,
Thank you so much for all the information. when i saw the sleep specialist last, which was like 2 weeks ago, i went in because i was still not sleeping, I told her I didn't feel like I was getting enough air. She told me to keep using the machine, which I did until I had like a flashback, but nothing like that had happened to me before. I was putting the mask on and felt as if someone was putting their hand over my mouth and keeping me from being able to get enough air so it's been 4 days since I used it till last night.

So epsom salt will help with swelling? Does it tell you how to use it and stuff, I have heard of it and I know my mom has used it a lot but don't remember what for. I will get some if I go out today or if my dad goes to the dollar store see if he can pick me up some cause i can hardly fit into shoes anymore and my socks are really tight.

Anyways, she said to come back in 6 weeks and if still feel the same she can adjust the air. It's only at a 8 right now, but she said she can make it go up. I have pushed all the buttons and turned the dials and stuff, and the card that is in their is going to show that I haven't used it enough for my insuarnace to cover it anyways, so I may be just giving it back. Beecause of my insuarance it has to be used at least 4 hours a night for 4 straigtht weeks. I did 2 1/2 straight weeks but that was short lived. Probably the doc can talk to my insurance or something, we'll see I guess.

Thanks again for the information, I was actually just going to look up some of that stuff and you beat me to it.

Talk to you soon,
Jen

Hi,

It can help with swelling so it is worth a try. Also, I think it might help you feel better. You might have to do it for a few days before you notice a change.

(Just so you know, don't ingest it. it is a laxative.)



The epsom salts will come with basic directions on the package.
Basically, all you do is dump some in warm water and soak. For my feet, I use water as hot as I can stand it. When it gets cold, I get up and dump out the water.
Or if you are not using hot water, mix the epsom salts in hot water to disolve and let the water cool enough until you are ready for it.

My insurance company has the same rules about the 4 hours of sleep a night for 4 weeks. I just barely made the cut off my first four weeks because I have sleep issues.

I sleep more now.

I wonder if there is a way to think smarter than the machine --- like wear the mask 30 minutes a day while you are awake so that you can add some time to the clock in the computer chip thing.

M.

I am going to try and wear it as much as possible today. I am not feeling well at all today and I don't know why I am always feeling so sick in the morning. Usually it goes away after I put a cold rice bag on and sleep for a half-hour and then my head feels better, but today I can't do anything but lay in bed and sleep on and off which is good cause there is nothing to do anyways, but i just feel like it's always something.

I have no clue why I am getting thsee headaches and feeling so nauseated all the time especially in the early morning. but today it's not getting any better. I am trying to drink fluids as nothing even looks good, haven't eaten anthing cause i don't know about being able to keep it in me today, at least that's what it feels like.

I just want ONE good day...that's all am asking for...but guess I can't do that cause there always has to be some sort of drama going on in my life or my head fo rme to have that day.

take care,
jen

Dear Jen,
I can't rmemeber have you seen a regular doctor about the swelling?
I don't want to alarm you but....swelling of your lower extemities can be a symptom of something wrong with your heart.
usually you see that in older people not some one your age. But I just wanted you to think about seeing your regular doctor if you have not seen them.
I am sorry that you are suffering.
there seem to be many different issues going on and you must be very impatient ....I know that you want to feel better!
I wish you did too.
bizi

Thanks bizi,

Yes I have seen my reg. doc for the swelling and am currently taking a water pill and potassium with it. The swelling in my stomach has really gone down and my hands and wrists are ok, but the ankle swelling doesn't seem to get better but worse.

I don't know if or what to do. I probably should try and call him next week, just feel like am always seeing a doc. or something is always something wrong with me lately.
I hear what you are saying about something with the lower extremities being wrong with the heart and am scared about that. He did do blood work when I was in there a few weeks ago and everything came back really good. I don't know, maybe just wait it out and see what happens. i think if something bad was going to happen it would have already, so i don't know.

I thought it could have been from all the inactivity from being laid up from my back, but now that am able to do a little more, the swelling is actually stll there and at times even worse. I can't fit into a reg. size shoe i used to be able to. I don't know, am at my witts end with this too and am so ready to just say screw all this crap and say nothing to anyone anymore.

Thanks again, I think I am just going to see what happens and hopefully the swelling goes down. I only have 1 1/2 weeks of water pills left form 4 weeks and some things have improved.

Oh well, just too much wrong with me lately, and don't know if the sleeping thing has caused all this or not. I have done a lot of research on this, and I don't know, i know sleep deprivation can cause physical symptoms, so maybe just need my sleep. at this point i don't know if i even care anymore. I used to be able to be active and do things like actually walk through a store without having severe pain, now i can't even do the grochery shopping, i mean really, is that a way to keep going? not saying going to do anything, just thinking a lot about stuff and me.

Jen

sorry everyone i can stop talking about all my crap now and just let it be. I am sure all sick of hearing or reading it, and I would be too. same crap all the time. sorry again. I will quit writing and try and be more positive.

just thanks for all the advice and now am going to try and sleep again or something.