bobby, it is very good of you to be going tothe center and now talking about going tothe religous classes...
see you are tryiiing.
this is very good and brave of you.
bizi

Dear Bobby,
I often eat at my computer table. I have house shirts I wear at home and other shirts I wear outside.

I had a roommate years ago who used to ask me to get grease stains out of her t-shirts.

First I would rub liquid laundry detergent into the stain, scrub a little with my hand, and let it sit for 20 minutes. Then I would rinse with water and do it again.
Next I would put it through the washing machine with the regular clothes and hang it up to dry immediately without sending it through the drier. Then when it was dry, I would check to see if the spot was still there. Sometimes I would send it through the washing machine with almost double the usual soap.

Often I had to do it again. Most of the time I was successful doing this once or twice.
M.

Dear Bobby,
We are encultered to be useful.
Our society expects us to productive, and, if not useful, at least busy.

Maybe in other cultures people are not part of the industrial machine. I imagine an Eastern culture where people are encouraged to just be -- of course I don't know if such a place exists.

My goal in life is to stay a live.
Then I have a few sub goals of course like "staying alive with some grace."


My feeling is that the mentally ill face extra challenges to get through the day.
I have already achieved a lot today.

My first tdoc felt that it was one of the goals of the therapy he did to get his patients to a place where they could have good functioning relationships with other people. I wonder if he changed / dropped that as he got more experience.

M.

Bobby & Mari

grease stains - especially ones that have sat a while - can be resistant even to multiple washings.

the #1 solution i found for these when i lived in the US was Goop hand cleaner.

i think you can get it pretty much anywhere but definitely places that serve automotive needs. mechanics use it to remove automotive grease and grunge from their hands. but it works for clothes on for any greasy/oily type stain.

you rub a little on the stain, leave it sit for a little and then wash normally in water as hot as the clothing will tolerate (some items may only take cold).

done.

my mother adopted this as well but now here they don't sell it. nowadays she will sometimes re-apply fresh oil to an old oil stain to dissolve it before washing it.

~ waves ~

aha... i found a picture of Goop for you... in e-how instructions on removing grease stains
http://www.ehow.com/how_4712487_remo...se-stains.html

I will try the Goop...thanks for all the suggestions.
this weekend seems very hard to get through. Robert came over yesterday to pick up the chicken I bought for his dog..he convinced me to keep the tv i ordered because i would save money by not needing the cable box and in two years wind up paying for the box....
i feel so isolated....i just don't know if it is the depression...I guess maybe my goal should be just trying to get through the day....i still keep on comparing myself to others and fall down miserably...yesterday i was reading some religious work and then got more depressed and alienated....i didn't feel alive...i don't know how to explain it....i just feel so miserable and can't find relief.
bobby

Dear Bobby

i was thinking about that exact same thing yesterday about how we compare ourselves. and how we are told not to compare ourselves. but you know, we really get mixed signals because our entire society is based on comparison between people - and not just comparison - competition! so it's pretty hard. it's hard feeling good about values, like being honest or having integrity because those aren't the things that pay the bills or tv sets. resistance to stress goes a much longer way towards paying bills and tv sets.

but i hope you can feel at least somewhat good about being the person that you are. because you CAN compare yourself favorably to others, in terms of WHO you are. even many others who are "successful."

~ waves ~

you are so right. I usually don't think that way at all. I don't know about you but I am also so self critical? Are you? I think I got it from my parents and have really incorporated it big time. That means I am never good enough. Also in examining the choices I have made in my life, I have made some pretty bad ones because of my being bipolar. I have never taken the easy path.Have you? I wonder if we like the adrenaline of that challenges provide.
I think when you are in your teens, twenties and early thirties one can handle them, but as one gets older, they become more and more pressure and less and less "fun"....maybe i don't know what i am talking about
Love
bobby

Dear Bobby

i am also self critical. but we are very different cases. i took the path of least resistance in a lot of ways. too many ways. the only thing i ever liked adrenaline in was rollercoasters and driving. challenge and competition were never my thing. ever. i probably could have used a little more external pressure in school. i never learned to deal with pressure and never learned self-discipline.

love

~ waves ~

it is hard for me to believe waves....i know you picked a hard profession...which had a lot of pressure....maybe you are too bright to realize that...roflmao...you have acquired so much knowledge...on these boards you show it and if you are not certain you look for more information...
only you know but what is visible to me including your vocabulary doesn't jive with what you wrote....oh well
love
bobby

Dear Bobby

i don't deny that i'm smart. and i'm curious about things that interest me so i look things up yeah, but i have no constancy.

i made straight A's in school - i was overall a good kid and did my homework. the only thing i didn't do was study. i didn't need to study because i retained enough. and when the need came for me to study... i started getting B's... comp sci is hard but if you have the brains its easy. i have the brains. it was easy.

for instance i got an A in databases - a core, senior level course. i attended class the first 2 weeks and ditched all but maybe 5 of the rest, including tests. you were allowed to drop your worst test. i skipped one and dropped the 0. i remember one night the night my friends were studying for an exam i was counseling someone. the next day 1 hour before a friend of mine literally gave me a "crash" course in the material they had covered for the past 2 weeks. i scored in the 90's - one point higher than my friend who had coached me (he was furious ).

depression made it not easy because i ended up not staying on par... i didn't care if i lived or died. i ended up getting expelled for flunking two straight semesters.

if you saw my transcript you would know what i mean. it's like A B F F F A B F F. no C's. ha... no middle of the road - all or nothing.

oh wait i think i got a C in stats and something awful in phsyics too. but i mean i *hated* stats, and hardly went to it, only the tests. tests were open book and we were allowed a cheat sheet. i never did the homework and didn't crack the book except to make myself a really good cheat sheet and put colored stick-out tabs in the book , so i could look things up FAST on the fly.

but then, take physics. it's core. no pass, no graduate. and i don't hate it. actually, i love phsyics at concept level, but studying it (as in, really learning) required discipline. i would have had to at least read the book and do the homework (DUH! ) to do well in phsyics. i passed it but i got either a C or a D. i am ashamed because i know i would be capable of an A in phsyics.

my parents would not have wanted me to do what i wanted to do. but i never, ever, tried to assert myself. and never really pursued things on the side. comp sci was easy in that sense too. there was no emotional investment in it. it was supposed to be a "fallback" but i never fell forward.

~ waves ~