well. i got my scripts including the chlorpheniramine. and scripts for a CT scan (sinuses) as well as a chest xray and spirometry. then i have to see an ENT and a pulmonologist. there were people but it wasn't packed so i stayed. i am glad it is over with. i was very tense - expected to have to argue with him. didn't have to, but he was uptight about my previous tests. wanted to know which specialist requested them. (none! the request originated from ME. )

he gave me the vit D. but told me to take 5000 IU per WEEK (that's less than 1000 a day) until Christmas and then he'd test me again - not before. so now i don't know what to do. i guess i will find out if the lab will do private testing and how much it costs.

i do have a headache. i have had a stupid sinus headache for two days now. and it being under control must have been an illusion induced by 600mg of ibuprofen. coz it's back. i took indomethacin now, which i hope works coz it's a LOT cheaper... sigh.

~ waves ~

you poor sick girlie.
(((((HUGS))))
glad that your visit was productive...
I am hoping that you feel better sooner than later.
just a thought though if the antihistamine acts like an ssri, than what about the zoloft? will you continue?
just worrying about you
'bizi

Waves

Sending you hugs for a getting rid of the headache. And hoping that
the test do some good.

donna

Thanks Bizi and Donna

yes i hope the tests turn up something they can fix/treat. i used to smoke so i'm a little spooked about the cough. well i've always had the cough but recently have pain and shortness of breath with it which i did not before. but i if it was something like emphysema or worse () the symptoms would not likely be so allergy-and-irritant dependent, and that the antihistamine would not help...

as to SSRI action of the chlorpheniramine, i doubt it is significant in the dosages used as an antihistamine, or there would be a documented warnings for serotonin syndrome! (which also makes me think geez unlikely childhood exposure would alter brain development either. ) the only documented interaction is that the Zoloft can raise the serum levels of the antihistamine. and that's just fine with me!

anyway i have used chlorpheniramine for ages. took it before starting the Zoloft. in the past have taken them concurrently. in fact i used to take it back with my first psychiatrist when i took Zoloft and then Celexa and he was fine with it. my current pdoc also knew i took it when i was on Zoloft before. he has even written the scripts for it in the past.

so nothing to worry about there.

~ waves ~

i need to make appointments for those tests. they are sitting there.

i need to follow up on some things on the job front. basically i got a call yesterday and have to give an answer in 3 weeks when the person returns from vacation. i had been wanting to go a different direction. so need to figure out if my different direction is viable, within the 3 weeks. to know if it's reasonable to turn this down. otherwise i should take it. here someone gives me an opportunity and, am i grateful? no! of course i have a reason to be unhappy and uptight about it!

so first thing i need to work on that letter. i am usually good at writing but i feel so empty i can't see how not to sound like a loser. i could write a great, well-structured, "hello, i am a loser" type letter! yeah, that would get me far...

last night or whatever... going to sleep, i noticed that my foot was doing a jig. that is not usual for me. i thought that must be slight activation from the Zoloft. i had been noticing more energy but today i don't feel all energetic. maybe it was just nervous energy about going to the doctor because i was uptight about it and it came to a peak yesterday when i went.

i need to drag myself through some motions here. monk is on at 3. they are the old episodes with sharona. i wonder if i can do something before then, kind of like a reward. maybe the appointments. my mom offered to make them. i said i should do it. i partly wish i had let her. but i do so little it's important that i keep doing something even if i don't want to do anything.

~ waves ~

yes just keep putting your foot infront of the other, keep at it.
you will come out of this darkness.
stay focused.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

hi Bizi. thank you.

i got the appointments made before monk. i made them through the same diagnostic center so it was just one call. the person on the phone was patient and helpful. that made it easier. i asked her name at the end and thanked her for being so helpful.

i also tried to work on the letter but things kept coming out wrong. kept typing and deleting. i left it sounding wrong/off, just to have a placeholder of what i want to say, even though how i am saying it so far is no good.

i felt very sleepy this afternoon in spite of having had coffee. i am having more coffee. so much for activation.

~ waves ~

Just listen to your body sweetie...

Feel tired ? Go to sleep.

Dont feel inspired, dont write your letter... wait a bit...

Feel energy ? Write letters, make appointments...

I liked what Bizi said... You will go out of this darkness !!!

Keeping you in my prayers so you can start feeling better soon you sweet girl !

Dear Blue

thank you for the prayers.

if i listen to my body i am afraid i will stop doing anything and everything... sigh. i am a wreck. and i got wrecked by doing so little so i have to do more i know it doesn't make sense. it is also harder to do more right now...

i guess it's just matter of balance... haha if i knew how to be balanced i wouldn't have a problem would i...

there's balanced, and then there's bipolar.

and my life hangs in the balance, ha.

i think the only time i'll ever be balanced is when i'm dead.

morbid thoughts. i haz them.

~ waves ~

Dear Waves,
I'm glad that your mdoc mostly took care of you.

Feel better.
M.