Dear Bobby,

It seems your pdoc does not feel he can do much more with the medications to help with anxiety and depression. Maybe try keep making progress with the therapist. Ask her for something you can work on between visits.
I am sorry you fee this way.
I am happy to hear you going out with your friends.

M

lava lamps
 

Dear Ginnie,

I am sorry about having to movie. My hubby got in a big fight with Citizens because they were going to raise our rates. Our place is 24 years old. He was upset for months until he got the new company set up. A friend of mine in Daytona had her insurance company drop her. She was able to find another. I can think of another two people in FL who recnetly had their insurance company drop them. This is going on across FL but some people are more affected that others.

Ginny, it is hard to deal with this if you feel that you do not have any choices. You are indeed making choices and making good decisions for yourself. I hope the visit with the realtor goes well. Do you have an idea of where you will go when you sell?

I like the idea you mentioned in the post to Bobby about focusing on good thoughts. My therapist sort of teaches those things too -- when a disturbing thought comes into your mind, acknowledge it, let it float away, and make a point of noticing something good. She said that we can build new pathways in our brain for good memories and new thoughts.
At my office I have a blue lava lamp. I like it because it moves. The motion has a kind of good energy. I am not sure I could keep one safe at home because I knock over stuff.
I put some in my signature for now.

Take care.
M

Oh Ginnie
I am so sorry. How traumatic. Do you know about Hud? they have housing all over the states where you pay according to your income. there is a waiting list. the anxiety of living in paradise and being afraid of a storm is so stressful. you are so amazing. it is as if you walk around land mines with a smile on your face. I so envy your spirit. I will try your recommendation. Last night I had a terrible nightmare of the city i grew in being totally destroyed. I don't know how that relates to my unconscious feelings of my self. I grew up in a very pretty house. I started reading the end of suffering and although i didn't get far it talked about the suffering from attachment and how we looked for things to make us complete when we should look within since we had it within.
what prayers do you want me to say for you? is your mind really made up?
bobby

I will try to ask my therapist for suggestions. last session she left me out after a half an hour instead of the usual forty five minutes. I still feel shaken by ginnie's posts about her home.
I got on the scale and didn't gain any weight after eating out all those days. yesterday barbara made me belgian waffles with fruit...they were delicious.
I didn't want to leave her apartment and be alone.
bobby

I am so glad that you have barbara in your life, she really cares about you.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Dear Bobby,

I looked at the book, The End of Suffering, on Amazon. I decided to skip it. It was concerned that it might be a little depressing. How do you feel about the book?
The therapist stinks for shortening your time but maybe she can still be of some help, especially if you tell her how she can help you.

Barbara's Belgian Waffles with Fruit sound delicious.

M

i didn't read the book yesterday but i am hopeful it will present new ideas on a way to look at life. so far it isn't depressing but hopeful.
i thought it was stinky too that my therapist let me out early. it was as if she was caving into my depression too lol. she doesn't do dreams or heavy therapy. she is sort of stuck in my present and says i am doing a lot more than i did a few years ago. i take that as circumstances rather than growing healthier.
the waffles were delicious.
bobby

Bobby,
Whether it is circumstances or growing healthier you can still claim it as your own! That's good the therapist sees progress. I noticed that therapists are more effective when they see progress.

Are you saying that you want to work more on the past than she does? My therapist is kind of like that. She does not want to hear too many child hood/ teenage/ young adult stories. She wants me to work on ways to distance myself from garbage in my life and find ways to cope. Sometimes I find that frustrating --- I do not know why.

M

Hi Mari, bobby my friends
 

I know how deeply all of you care. We have gotten to know each other pretty well on NT. I have no idea where I will go, or what I will do right now. The realtor was great this morning, and got my trust and all information to show their attorneys. he loved my Wall of mosaics of noahs Ark in the garage which is really a studio. He could tell I never had an intention of selling. I still think it is horrible someone must loose everything they have and were, just because you get sick. They you get benefits, like they think they are doing some favor for you, when in actuallility folks pay for that out of each check. Being reduced to poverty after working as many years as I did, is what is causeing my depression. I am sick over this. My folks who did their very best to protect me are crying from heaven. I do not know my direction. I am going to pray alot these days, and hope that a solution can be found where I can live a decent life. I cannot go to public housing, just can't. not with what is offered down here. I would be a target for crime, and I don't want to live in fear in a housing project. What a choice to be presented with. I did the very best I could in life, and it was not enough. thank you all for being in my corner, and sharing my pain with compassion. I thank God for each and every one of you, and I am blessed to have found NT. love you all ginnie

Dear Ginnie,

I am sending you hugs. :hug: :hug: :hug:

How long have you lived in the house?

M