Waves,
Yeah, that is good advise. That is what I started doing today is taking .5 in the afternoon and 1.0 at bedtime. Then if he says no to taking more (which he might) then I will only have to come off of the extra .5 instead of 1.0 extra. Do you guys think this med has a backlash anxiety factor to it? What I mean is - I took Xanax for a period of time years ago and if I ran out of it or took an extra pill I noticed that I would have like triple the anxiety when the medicine wore off. So maybe taking more is not better. I don't want to cause anxiety with medication. I already have plenty naturally. What are your thoughts? I want to be able to leave my house more but I don't know if it is necessarily the anxiety that is the problem. The chronic pain and fatigue and the post concussive syndrome make it so I am light and sound sensitive and get easily overwhelmed. I can only leave my house for short periods without the overwhelmed thing happening and will end up with a migraine headache if I stay out to long. Thus this causes anxiety and it also causes me to just want to drug myself to death because of how uncomfortable I get. Can you understand this? How do I deal with this? I either have to drug myself so much and I can leave house and function for awhile or stay in my house forever. It is getting way boring and lonely staying in my house. I have to try and get out because depression is coming in on me. I know I will get some good advise from you all.
Hope your all having a good day! I have been having a weekend of pain so I have been cranking my stereo. Music helps the pain. It gets my mind out of hell.
Much love,
Brain

Brain,

Running out of it is bad.
I personally know someone in real life (with no seizure disorder) who was prescribed Xanax and did not refill them after they ran out. She suffered a grand mal seizure, knocked out several teeth, and ended up in the ER.

That is why moving to 1.5 is a good suggestion. You can move down to 1.0 if you have to.

Klononpin does not really have the backlash of Xanax that you describe because they have different half lives.
Xanax's half life is about 11 hours whereas Klonopin has a half life of about 18-50 hours (depending on an individual's metabolism)
Your psychiatrist can help you find other medications that are less tricky than the benzos are --- but several other medications also require that you discontinue gradually (stopping abruptly is not good).

You can get more and better medications. You will get some suggestions after the testing you have coming up. And a therapist can help you with that kind of stuff.

I generally go only to places that I am very familiar with and very comfortable. I go at times when few people are around.

M

Mari,
Thank you. It makes me feel better that I am not the only one who has problems going out in to public. You know I have passed out like 10-12 times in public and fell straight back and hit my head so hard each time that I have had multiple concussions and had people all around me and the paramedics coming. This passing out thing has been diagnosed as hypoglycemia. It has really given me a problem with being in public. I hate it. I used to be such an adventurous person. Now going to the grocery store is like a major accomplishment. Now I am totally brain damaged. I can't remember things. I have to keep lists of things so I can remember what music I like, what food I like etc.
I have my second appointment tomorrow for the Neuropsychological testing so I am hoping that they will be able to help me. I will be there all day so I probably won't talk to you guys tomorrow if I am too tired. I will let you know how it goes. Pray for me guys. I am scared. It is terrifying to have your memory gone. I am afraid they are gonna lock me up in the mental home.
That is good advise on not stopping the benzo's abruptly. I did that with Soma and ended up in the hospital so I know you have to be careful about stopping.
Thanks,
Brain

good luck with your appointment.
You know to eat plenty of meat/protein throughout the day to combat the hypoglycemia, stay away from simple carbs, sugars white bread stuff that easily disolves in your mouth, go for complex carbs veggies whole wheat grains, beans, choose whole wheat pastas, i know they taste different but are better for you. YOu know tht there are different forums here, there has to be one for your brain injury, folks could maybe give you helpful support ideas in that regard. I will look for you.
bizi

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum92.html
here is the link to the forums here.

Thanks Bizi. Yeah I am also on the traumatic brain injury forum and I do get help from them but none of them on there right now are nearly as hurt as I am. Most of them have had like one concussion and are healing. I don't think any of them have had their total memory wiped. There are a few that have long term damage like me but they seem able to do so much more than me. Of course I am also healing from liver and kidney failure and have other health problems so I guess I gotta give myself a break.
The diet you suggested is helpful to me. I am really careful about what I eat. Now that my liver is healed I can eat meat again. That was a problem with the hypoglycemia. I can usually keep it under control with diet. But it still has left mental trauma from the passing out in public.
I am hopeful about my appointment with the Neuropsychologist. I think I am at least getting to the right kind of doctors for help now.
Brain

Hi, Brain,

The state governments have strict criteria about taking away someone's civil rights and locking them up in a hospital. You are not any where near that. You are safe.

The results of the testing will help you. The medical team will have a full dx. They will know what kind of medicaiton and other treatments might work for you. Testing is always a good thing.

I always go to the same tiny grocery store on off hours. Every body who works there knows my face. Some say hello. Most allow me to be alone while I go about my business. I am comfortable there and they are used to me.
I drive the same routes, stop at the same gas station --- things like that.

This is good for the brain and the body:

1. sleep
2. exercise --- if your docs have approved it
3. music
4. mediation and / muscle relaxation
5. sunshine
6. going to bed by 9:00 ( blue light at night messes with our sleep hormones . . If you do not go to bed, get off the computer and the tv and read a book (no blue light from screens.

Mari

Mari,
Thank you. That makes me feel much more comfortable about not being anywhere near the point of having my rights taken away and locked up. I have been worried about it.
Yes the ideas you gave to help brain problems are right on. I always go to bed before 9:00. Hell I am exhausted by 7:00. At least I am getting some more sleep. I am able to sleep for 5-6 hours straight whereas before I was only able to sleep for a few hours at a time due to pain. Ever since I have been sleeping through the night mostly I feel like I can do more during the day and actually want to do things. So I take that as a good sign.
I think you are right about the testing. It will help so I can get the correct treatment and hopefully get approved for disability. That would take a big load off my mind.
Hope you all are having a good day. Thank you so much for taking the time to help me with my problems. Have a good night everyone.
Brain

Dear Brain

I'm very relieved you have gone down to 1.5mg Klonopin divided .5/1.0. The Klonopin won't be as big of a backlash as the Xanax but:

Please tell the neuro

• how long you took 2.0 and
• how long you took 1.5

if he wants you back to taking 1.0 again, it may be best (you can ask about it) to go 1.25 first, and then back to 1.0. The so called "backlash" is not as bad as with Xanax, but also, it is felt later with Klonopin, indeed because of the longer half-life. I don't know how long you took 1.0mg before developing tolerance and upping it to 1.5... hence my concern with taking the foot off the Klonopin gas pedal gradually. Even if you are given non-benzo drugs to treat the anxiety, these will not replace a benzo wrt withdrawal sx. Your prescribing neuro can probably evaluate how to step down if he even wants you to. I kinda think (and I do hope!) he will be ok with your doing 1.5 until the other dxs are in place, especially since it is helping.

i have had social anxiety too - it is not chronic in my case - it came with a very bad depression, but i remember how it was, and it was pefectly HORRID.

I hope your docs help you with this - i agree, we do not want you to get depressed, yuck!

--------------------------------------------------------

I know someone who had their memory wiped - had to relearn language, basic arithmetic the works... you are doing well, also he is living proof a person can retrain. he went through multiple TBI's on several occasions, and body ripped to shreds - most of him was "rebuilt" - legs, knees, spine, etc. He was more dead than alive at least once, besides CO poisoning and a few strokes. i wish he were on this forum i would direct you to him but i am not personally in touch, and the last i heard he had acquired some hefty new responsibilities and was no longer able to be active in forums. I just wanted to share a bit of his story to tell you, wrt rebuilding your brain:

It can be done, it has been done!

I'd also like to mention that, imho, you seem very aware and are very fluid in your posts, whatever is missing it sure isn't immediately apparent - perhaps i will notice something later on. dunno. Or maybe they are things that are not apparent in this context. Anyway - it can be done.



~ waves ~

Thanks Waves,
My ability probably comes across pretty well on these forums but what you don't see is that I am rechecking who I am trying to talk to all the time - what was their name, what were we talking about. I am reading my posts lots of times to make sure they make sense. I struggle to remember what is going on with each person. I have to read posts again so I can remember.
I have to make myself lists so I can remember what type of music I like, what types of food I like, I have lists everywhere. I struggle to put together an outfit. I used to be so fashionable. I don't drive anymore, I get lost now on roads I have driven on for over 25 years. But that is encouraging that you can't tell I have a problem. I just have to try so hard instead of it just coming naturally.
It is kind of like I am a new person. I really don't remember who I was. I know I was smart. I am just trying to adjust the best I can to this new way of life. Every person looks the same to me. I forget their name as soon as they tell me. I can't even remember the names of family members sometimes. I have no idea what kind of cars they drive. It's like a lot of things just look all the same. I can't see subtle differences. I used to have a memory like an elephant now I can't remember anything. I have fragments that are like only the most traumatic things that come out at night in nightmares. It's kind of like someone took my brain and shattered it and only gave me back some of the pieces. Short term and long term memory have been obliterated. What a challenge I am up against. But I have survived liver and kidney failure when the doctors were sure I would die. So what I do know is I have a lot inside that I never knew I had and I rely on it and it has pulled me through so far.
Thanks for the encouragement,
Brain

you are brave brain.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi