Sounds somewhat like what is going on with my mother-in-law. She can't
put on weight for nothing. They once prescribed a medicine to make her hungry. But they didn't realize how much she was already eating.

I believe its just our genes.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Hey Kay. When you said d/d or being caught driving on drugs are you talking about illegal drugs,or proscription drugs? I don't drive after taking Seroquel. I take Seroquel before bed. BF:hug::hug::hug:

I take Seroquel at night. It's too sedating... I could NEVER drive on it.

I have to go to the class because I got a DUI in December and it's part of my sentence. Other people there have to go for DUI or driving on illegal drugs/prescription drugs without a prescription,etc.

Kay Me to. I would never drive after taking Seroquel. I take it before bed. I haven't drank any Alcohol for a long time. I remember what it was like. A couple of beers would cause me to be under the influence. I stopped drinking successfully over two decades ago.

I'm in emotional pain tonight. I don't know why. It comes,and goes. BF:hug::hug::hug:

I am sorry friend...
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

BF,
I can't imagine drinking and taking Seroquel. It's so potent once it kicks in I feel like if I had had a few I'd go to sleep and not wake up. When I want a beer, I think of that, too. Congratulations again on your two decades :)

You're going to have periods when your emotional pain is worse than others. It's part of the grieving process. Sometimes it's the time of day, when it's quiet, or when something reminds you of your losses...

We're here for you BF. Anytime you need us. :hug::hug::hug:

I just signed up for the driving class that starts Oct.30th and paid in full :)

The bad news is I'll be contending with 13 steep stairs all weekend :(
But I can do it if I go slowly, nobody rushes me, and I wear the right shoes. Oh, and Klonopin, I'll need a little Klonopin.

Thank God they're going to put me in a bed that's on the same floor as the bathroom. There's no way I could manage those stairs on 600mg of Seroquel.

Good work, Kay.:hug::hug:

And it is good to hear that the bed and bathroom are on the same floor.

Is it two nights?

M

Yes, 2 nights... :( From Friday at 5pm to Sunday at 3pm.

This whole experience is going to be interesting...

They're sending me out a bunch of paperwork. Maybe I'll get an itinerary or something so there's less unknown. I do better with more information, but I'm doing it information or not.

I was hoping that they could email me the med release because they need it before the class. If they send it by mail it doesn't give me much time to receive it, get pdoc to fill it out, and send it back for them to receive it prior to Oct. 30th. Pdoc doesn't work everyday.
The lady I spoke to today said she would let me know if she couldn't email me the med release. No med release yet. Does she even have my email?

I'll call tomorrow if I don't hear anything or see anything in my inbox.

I'm very impatient and easily stressed.

Glad to hear things are coming together.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

yes call in the morning.
happy for you to be doing this!
bizi

I'm so impatient I called back yesterday. The lady said she was happy I called back because she realized she didn't have my email.
She said she hoped she'd get to emailing me the med thing yesterday, but nothing yet.
I want to get that form to pdoc tomorrow at the latest so I can get it back to them on time. Like I said, she doesn't work every day.

My poor husband threw his back out lifting too much weight in the wrong way. He thinks he's He-Man. He can barely walk. He called out of work... something he NEVER does. I mean NEVER.
I'm trying to help him, but he doesn't like it when he feels like he's being told what to do. He's anti-heating pad and ice now because he somehow got it into his head that they would cure him in a couple of hours...
He's taking a hot shower now. And he's going to get onto the inversion table he got when he hurt his back a few years ago. Then I'm going to try to get him on the floor later to see if I can work any of the muscle knots out.

Our apartment mgmt. co. is doing walk throughs today. They're probably looking for people who are living like pigs or are destroying their apartments. But I want to show them all the maintenance issues that they've half a$$ed resulting in our apartment looking in a dump despite our hefty rent... I hope they're bringing a clip board. I'm not happy my husband will be here. I hope he lets me do the talking because he has a temper and is in a very bad mood already because of his back.

I am sorry...has he ever tried biofreeze or arnica? good luck today
bobby

Kay,

Good luck with the inspecition. My old management company said that
they were only looking for holes in the wall or water damage.

I hope that your husband gets better with his method of healing.


Mari



(Hubby like the arnica cream -- it is a homeopathic marketed for light to moderate pain)

I understand trying to get this kind of stuff done on a timeline.

I hope that it works out the way you need it to work out.
M

My husband suffered a lot yesterday. The inversion table didn't go well, and after I gave him the massage he couldn't get off the floor. I made him take 800mg of ibuprofen for pain and inflammation and he decided to give heat a chance again. He went to bed still barely able to walk, and he was groaning in his sleep trying to turn over, but when I woke up he was gone. The (expletive) went to work.

The apartment people came and said they were testing fire alarms, looking at carpet, and looking under sinks. I'm friendly with one of the girls who came, although I haven't been into the office in over a year. I handed them a list of repairs I want done lol. They didn't expect that.

The lady from the driving class emailed me the medication release, but it wasn't until after 4. So, I wasn't able to get it to the office yesterday. I'm going to drop it off today.
On the release it states somewhere, "clients' mental and, at times, emotional participation can be quite intensive."
I guess I should be concerned by that, but I'm not. They're referring to discussions about substance abuse and I have enough "safe" stories to share on that subject to satisfy them (you have to satisfy them before they will send a letter of completion to the court). I have no intention of bearing my soul to these people.
Anyway, since it's on the release, pdoc's going to see that part and is going to have to sign off on it. I attached a letter explaining what it was for, and reminding her I'm stable. I wonder if she's going to call me before she signs it. I'm going to be SUPER ****** if she won't.

Kay

My husband told his boss that he wouldn't be lifting anything heavy yesterday. I'm surprised they let him work at all because they know he injured himself on the job. But his back held out for him, despite his 11hr day. He's in a lot of pain, and is not moving around well. I bought him some Aspercreme, it actually has 4% Lidocaine in it. That's another thing I'm surprised is available OTC now. It seems to have worked a little bit. I hope a weekend of rest helps restore him.

I used my old pharmacy yesterday because their coupon for a med was about $30 vs. the about $75 coupon at my new pharmacy. The plan was to pick it up on my way back from dropping off the med release at pdoc's office. To make a long story short, I lost my temper twice because of screw ups- a very, very rare occurrence in the last 10mo. and it doesn't feel good. I had to pay an extra $10 in "waiting time" for cab fare because I was in there for 20min. At least I still saved money.
I have to go to the new pharmacy today. I'm thrilled... but at least I know my scripts will be ready.

Thinking about it, I'm not sure if I should be concerned about the weekend because it requires, "mental and, at times, emotion participation (that) can be quite intensive" or not...
I am very open with all of you, and I know that you realize I'm vulnerable. But I am quite used to hiding my emotions and usually remain stoic. I'm going to try my best to only focus only on the substance abuse element. The rest is not their business. To be honest, I do feel like some of these programs give themselves more credit than they deserve in the emotional department because everyone is there because the court has mandated it.

That being said, it sounds like it may be hard to remove myself from uncomfortable situations if the need arises, which is my usual coping mechanism and that makes me weary. I don't know how I'll respond under those conditions. And I can forsee someone pressing me hard about the neck scar, and I can see myself responding to it in an, ahem, less than lady-like way.

The things I have working for me are:
1. I'm stable on meds
2. I've been mostly taking 1mg Klonopin in the am, although my script is written for "1mg up to 3mg a day." So I have some control there and
3. I'm capable of stifling emotion to a certain extent

The things I have working against me are:
A lot of unknowns

I can't wait to get that paperwork. I do much better with more information.

So, what say you?

Kay I think you are doing amazingly well.
Can't wait for things to start going for you in the right direction. good for you.
I am rooting for you!:You-Rock:
bizi

I think you are doing great! Hope your husband starts to feel better.
bobby

Kay,
Some thoughts that might be relevant or not:
Dress and talk and make eye contact (to an appropriate degree) as if you are 100 percent on top of your life.
(And of course that you are mindful about the issue at hand)

This sounds horrible but I think that someone else more vulnersble
will get some focus and that you can keep the focus off you.
They have a limited number of people to deal with and to "check off."
They will not give a lot of attention to everyone.
And some people may want or require more attention.

Keep reminding yourself of your 1 2 3 above.
Also maybe have an '"elevator speech" well prepared ahead of time about whatever they are going to hear from you:
(I am doing the program, I am . . . . My husband is supportive. . . Time has given me reflection. . .
Say it enough times ahead of time and when you get there they will believe it and move on to someone else more interesting.


If I am off, I apologize.

( sometimes I imagine myself as a world class athelete with a major support team behind me --- nutritionist, therapist, massage therapist, yogi, acupuncturist. coach, trainer, hypnotist for visualizing success, personal assistant, supportive teammates. . . )
---->> It helps me fake things and a huge amount of my energy outside the house is spent in being normal.
===========

I got rambly. Anyway, I feel that you know what you can handle
And the fact that you signed up for this means that you expect to be able to handle it.

Much good luck to you.

M

Working Friday clearly made my husband's back much worse. He has had to crawl to the bathroom the last 2 nights, but is undecided as to whether or not he is going to work tomorrow?! He wants to see how he feels tomorrow morning... doesn't want to hear that it's going to make it worse in the short and long term... doesn't even want to hear about going to the doctor or ER even though it is not getting better on its own. He's clearly suffering, and he's being ridiculous, and I'm worried. I'm going to have to lose it on him over this and suffer the consequences- that's the only way he might get it.

------

Thank you for those excellent suggestions, Mari! When I imagine what the class will be like, I think things will play out perfectly that way.

I am the mothering type, but I'm going to have to avoid that in favor of self preservation. They have people employed there specifically to provide support. I do not want to draw any unnecessary attention to myself.

My anxiety right now is focused on whether or not pdoc will sign off on me going. I think she might get on my case regarding anxiety or because I don't go to the therapist. I'm also worried about the time factor... I don't know when she's in the office next. When my last episode struck, she wasn't in the office until Wednesday...

K,
I hope that he gets some sense and goes to the doc/er so he can get help getting better.

Your pdoc will come through with the form on time.

M

Hi kay.
If your hubby had to crawl then there is no going in tomorrow. Pain has a way of slowing us down...to listen to our bodies.
He is a fool if he doesn't listen.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

The football game was on at 1 yesterday, a pretty big game, and it was close. It was a good thing my husband wasn't sleeping because there was no way to keep me quiet. The cats went into hiding, which is typical of when I watch football lol. Great game, and we won.

My husband ran out of beer because he started drinking at 2pm. I walked with him to the liquor store. It takes me 20min each way (10 for him), but I didn't want him going alone and I couldn't go alone because I wouldn't have been able to carry the beer back that far. I've stopped counting how many beers he drinks because it makes me sad and/or disgusts me, but it had to be over 20 because he was throwing up by 7:30.

I tried everything I could to get him to agree to go to the doctor, or at least promise he wouldn't go to work, but all he would say was, "we'll see what happens." The (expletive) went to work today. It's hard to be sympathetic when someone won't help themselves. At the very least he'll be hung over and on his feet all day. At the worst, he'll be hung over and hanging from a (expletive) harness 50ft or more in the air working on a crane. What an (expletive)!
If he ends up worse off tomorrow because he went to work today, I'm going to hit the roof. He has enough accrued time to take the rest of the week off and then some, but shouldn't have to use his own time since he was injured on the job. He told his boss, but he never filled out a report. He never listens to me. It's not that he thinks I'm wrong or stupid, he just doesn't want to hear it.

The good news is pdoc's office called early this morning. She signed the form and it's ready to be picked up. Yea! I'm going to take a cab over to pick up the form, then I'll hit the post office, but first I'm going to call the organization putting on the program to verify their address (because I'm paranoid).
There should be plenty of time for it to get there by regular mail, but I'm going to send it expedited (again, because I'm paranoid).

I thought if I just didn't take my synthroid for 2 days I could get away with only having pdoc sign a release...

I reread the release form, and I may not be able to get away with that because of the way it's worded... because of the MS.

I'm going to have to drop off a release form to my PCP now, which means more cab fare and more waiting.

Yuck.

things are rolling in the right direction...keep at it.
sorry about hubby.
bizi

Kay

I think you will be fine. And just keep working on getting everything.

I think mailing anything important expedited or certified is smart.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I called a cab and set out on my journey...

I picked up the release at pdoc's office first.

Then I went to my PCP's office to drop off the release to him, but he's out of the office until MONDAY. In an exchange in which I can only describe myself as being whiny while still being pushy, the secretary finally said she'd ask one of the covering physicians if they'd sign it.... I can only imagine some doctor who doesn't know me pulling my chart and seeing what a physical and mental train wreck I am and deciding not to take the risk... The office staff knows me well and always gets me what I need quickly, but that's when my PCP is there. I put my odds at 50/50.
Anyway, I told her I needed it back by Wednesday at the latest (so I can overnight it) and asked that someone please call me back as soon as possible.
At least I got my flu shot while I was there.

When I got home, I took a look at the form pdoc filled out. She signed off on all the medical and MH conditions. It could very well stand on it's own, but I don't know if these people are going to require a MD signature because of the MS or not. Ideally, I won't have to deal with this issue.

When my husband got home I had him take me to the post office and I sent the pdoc release form out priority mail. They should have it by Wednesday, and I should have my answer about the other release by then as well. I'd imagine the organization putting on the class will contact me with any issues or questions they have when they receive pdoc's release and I should be prepared to answer them then.

If it turns out I need an MD signature, and the covering physician won't sign, I will have to see if I can postpone the class until the next one they're holding Nov.13th (something I do not want to do).

I like having a lot more time and control over things than I have right now. Why can't I just bend people to my will? lol.

When my husband came home from work, he said his back doesn't feel bad. I hope that remains the case, but he may be feeling it tomorrow.

Kay,

You accomplished a lot.

Good job getting the form and getting to the post office with it to go out priority mail.

Maybe the organization does not need a second form and you will be o.k. with the one you sent.

'Hoping that your husband is recovering.

Mari

I thought pdocs are MDS???
bizi

My pdoc is an NP and I'm in no way disputing her qualifications. I don't know if these people are going to recognize by her credentials that she's in psych and is not really the right person to be signing off on the MS part of the medical release, or if they care. That's the rub.

As if I wasn't stressed out enough, this organization sent me an email around 4:30 with a 2pg contract attached that has to be signed and returned to the office prior to my arrival Friday. I don't know why they couldn't have emailed that to me with the med release last week?! And why did they have to wait until so late in the day to send it? I was just at the (expletive) post office! UGH!

I hope I'll hear something back from my PCP's office tomorrow either way. And to push it- I want to hear back early. lol.
I don't want to wait to mail in the contract, but I'm better off doing so in case I can't get the MD release and they demand it... That way I'll be able to push back the date of the class. I don't see the point in potentially going to the post office 3 days in a row anyway.

I am so impatient it's ridiculous.
This is driving me absolutely crazy.

I did not know that you see a NP...:o
sorry that you are getting this paperwork night mere....
sounds very frustrating!!!!!
bizi

Hey Kay. It sounds like your trying your best. You are communicating your needs to the right people. You may need to get a medical doctor to sign the form. (((There are to many lawyers in our Country!!!))) BF:hug::hug::hug:

Thanks guys :grouphug:

Bizi, Almost everyone in my area sees an NP prescriber and there are long waiting lists at most practices for prescribers of any kind. I tried to get in to see a psychiatrist after my last hospital stay, but not one in my network was accepting new patients.

The staff at this place seems hung up on the fact that there are 12 stairs, which makes me think they may scrutinize the release form.
I'd rather not have to deal with the stairs either, but that doesn't mean I can't manage them safely if I'm cautious. I've been walking with a cane since 2008 and it's hard to avoid stairs for that long ;)

When I left the med release at my PCP's office, I left the letter I wrote to my PCP explaining what it was all about. Hopefully the covering MD will read it and that will help. I'm trying to be optimistic. But I'll be waiting for the phone to ring all day today.

I have made all these copies of things and have neat stacks of papers built up on my printer, keep moving copies of others into folders, am enjoying my stapler... and I'm obviously been very hung up on this and my anxiety level is very high... I think I'm having a little trouble with my OCD here and I'm not enjoying the feeling of not being in control.

I forgot to mention that I received mail from the organization putting on the class yesterday. It just explains things like meals, sleeping quarters, cellphone use, class hours, etc. I was happy to read that they have a smoking area outside. Other than that, I'm no wiser.

In unrelated, but more positive, news...
I've only lost 1 more lb (total of 6) so I'm not alarmed about the weight loss right now. And my bed sore is almost completely gone :):):)

Kay

I sent the pdoc release out priority mail yesterday and they said it would take 2-3 days for the letter to arrive, but I just checked the tracking number and it arrived this morning...

Maybe I'll get a call back today if they have an issue with the release she signed.

I called the organization putting on the class to verify they got the med release (even though I knew damn well they got it). They didn't mention an issue with it, so I had my husband bring me to the post office to mail the contract.

While we were at the grocery store, my PCP's office called and said the form was ready to be picked up :) So, I had to ask my husband to drive me to the office to pick it up. The MD was VERY careful to note that the psych meds and conditions were my "psych team's" responsibility to evaluate, but he signed the release regarding the MS and Synthroid. And I decided it was best to send it in to be safe.

I had to have my husband drive me back to the post office AGAIN. He was not a happy camper, actually still isn't. But it saved about $60 in cab fare.
The contract and other med release should arrive at their office tomorrow morning.

As far as I can tell, this is all over and done with until I get to the class Friday. I couldn't be happier!!! :)

I'm still not bringing the Synthroid for the weekend because it wasn't prescribed by the MD who filled out the medical release form and I anticipate problems. Missing it for 2 days won't kill me.

I'm happy to be done with this bureaucratic (expletive) :)

wow kay!
You are such a trooper.
what a relief. It is this friday? wow that is really rushing it to get everything "signed, sealed, delivered..I am yours....":cool:
lol
job well done!
bizi

Kay,

:Tip-Hat:

You are amazing.:)

You did great.

Mari

Yes, it's this Friday. That's why I had to do all the rushing around and worrying. I want to get the class over with ASAP so I can hopefully get my license back next month. I haven't driven since December. Hopefully I won't have to relearn how to drive in the snow.

I have a feeling these people are going to be confused as to why they are getting another med release form. It's easy enough to explain: one is for psych and psych meds, the other is for MS, hypothyroidism, and synthroid and is signed by an MD so it covers your *** for the stairs.

My husband isn't happy I'm going. He thinks it's "weird." This program was designed for people who aren't able to get the class over with during the week- it's not witch craft lol. He also wants me to remember that these people are not my friends.
Of course I'm going to be friendly. I have no reason not to be. But I've been sober for 3mo. and I don't think a court mandated program for DUI is the place for me to forge long lasting friendships.

SOOOOOOOOOO glad that crap is taken care of!!! :):):)

Now I just have a little anxiety about the class itself, but I feel like a million bucks compared to what I felt like the last two days. I'm still really surprised I'm doing this, but I guess I'm just really focused on meeting an objective.

good for you. your husband really sounds possessive
bobby