Today is the first day that I had stool and diarrhea together. How many ML is each dose? I take 45ml in one dose at night. I had the bowel movement 14 hours later. 2pm.
love bizi

i am confused. i am taking four tablespoons in the morning, noon and night.
so far nothing.
today was the worse. the f@cking pharmacy. I got a message saying that they were having insurance problems and working on it. i finally called them a few hours later to find out what was happening. i was told it was worked out. then i called and asked the dosage and immediately forgot if i was told it was 3 or 4 tablespoons. sometimes i do have very short term memory. more or less the f @cking a=hole told me they were very busy and I NEEDED TO GET HELP. you can imagine the rage i felt and didn't express. i also felt some fear. i cursed away when i had my therapy session, later i called walgreens and said i wanted to file a complaint and explained what happened. i might have said the guy should be fired. the woman i spoke with was very empathetic and said they would look into it.
i felt finally the rage dissipate.
i don't have a stomach ache but i feel sick.
i haven't been able to sleep and i am so depressed. the medication doesn't touch it. I so hate being bipolar and aging doesn't help. my kitties are staying away from me. I try to think of Morgy. I loved that dog so much.

i made an appointment with my eye doctor for a month away and am having Dorot escort me.

Good idea to make the eye appointment. I can tell you when my
eyes started getting what I thought might be worse so I made
sure to get in. I had gotten a little depressed. SO I think it was
such a great thing I did to get into the eye doctor and get them
taken care of.

Donna:hug::grouphug:

i can still read books without glasses. could you?

finally the laxative worked. i always think the worse. I was beginning to think i would have to have my colon removed.i was in so much pain all day yesterday and in the evening. have thought of that before.
This morning after a restless sleep i woke up wishing I were dead.
now i have to drink about 8 ounces of water a day 8 times.. it is going to really be hard because i am so undisciplined. it supposed really help constipation.
i am going to make a concerted effort not to buy any more clothes or shoes. i have been so out of control.
i have so many books on my bed. i am reading 8 again. one is the good emperors of rome. i never studied rome in college past the augustan age.
i am only going to now have one book at a time on my bed. i just started a new book by amelia grey. she is great.
I am hoping this morning wasn't a one day wonder.
i am glad i filed a complaint about the pharmacist. what a f@CKING A-HOLE
aby cuddled with me this morning. for the past few days she loves being in a cardboard box.
oh well- praying that the laxative will continue to work..
yesterday i received another free box from chewy. it had dog food which i will give robert and aby's favorite treats that cost about 30 dollars. i called and they said keep them or donate them.
i had a wonderful volunteer very early in the morning and listened and then gave me a relaxation exercise. i will use it.

I am glad that you went formed?or loose? or diarrhea?
how are the stomach pains?
sorry about you have anxiety.....
love you,
bizi

no stomach pains but gas. just ordered something else for gas. i wonder when i will go again. i was so tempted to take a bottle of magnesium citrate liquid or two. i am starting to drink more liquid. how much do you drink?
love you,
bobby

Eases bowel movement and relieves constipation: Indeed moong dal for digestion is not a myth! Sprouted green grams are a good remedy for easing the smooth flow of bowel movements. It is also recommended as a good natural remedy to relieve constipation in children and adults.

bizi,
i don't think you know desperate i am. all i care about is if i can go.
love you,
bobby

Well that sounds encouraging.
I want to go regularly I don't have to have a bm daily. I will take the regular dose for me 45ml tonight and see if I can go if not then use a suppository.
love bizi

still haven't gone but drinking a lot of fluids.
love,
bobby

Bobby,

I drink at least 64 oz of water a day. I drink the bottled water because I don't like the faucet. But its because my doctor told me a few years ago to make sure
I drank at least that much. It took me about a month to get up to that
much and now I am really noticing if I don't drink it.

And when it comes to reading. I couldn't read without glasses or do anything
before my surgery. I was near sighted. Now I definitely need them for
my reading but I wear reading glasses at a 100 prescription from the
dollar store.

I'm still hoping they might get better we will see.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

thank you so much. i guess it is not an emergency in my case cause i can read without glasses.
good for you with all that water. i am getting up there but wind up having to pee more often.
love,
bobby

I stop fluid intake at 7pm Because I don't want to wake up in the middle of the night to go pee.
I try to get 64 oz but did not today and I wonder if that is why I had a hard time going today.
bizi

i am not sure how much i drink but will drink more.

i hate being bipolar. I hate all the medications that have caused chronic constipation. I hate my rage. I hate my depression. I hate my anxiety. Now I am beginning to get annoyed at music. i am still angry at marci for being an hour late last week and not calling. i am angry at her for calling last night and saying she was coming in the morning. I got angry at Robert when he went on and on saying dog food costs the manufacturers only a penny and a half to produce the food. I still can't work my new cellphone.
I do love my kitties. I still enjoy reading but scared of cataract surgery. I can't stand the feeling that I have to go but can't. I don't know when to call the doctor. he said to call in a week but this f@cking medication isn't helping and I am scared.
I am having such a hard time coping and being isolated. i know most of the world has it worse.

Did you get any sleep last night?
love bizi

yes and i just woke up from a little nap.

i finally feel a bit better. haven't started linzess yet. i just bought two more pitchers for water. bought ground flaxseed.bought instant steel cut oatmeal. bought taurine for diabetes. have magnesium citrate, magnesium citrate power, magnesium 400 mg and of course remaining bottles of magnesium citrate liquid that might be contaminated.
depression is lifting but still find music irritating.
the handyman came and replaced the toilet handle. figured out how to make the length of the page for scanning longer.
tried a tea for bloating and gas and didn't work. bought something else for gas.
still don't feel close to God. marci was very kind yesterday. Thank God for my fear of him. otherwise i would have swallowed a lot of pills.

i didn't think i did but i emptied most of my emails. shocked but welcomed.

Bobby,

Keep getting angry all you need to. I think it helps us get through
our emotions. Also when it comes to water, try drinking what feels
the best. I drink it when I feel I want it and if I can stop at 7pm like
Bizi says I do. But right now with it being so hot in Indiana and especially
in Derrick's house. I am drinking it later at night. I also have dry mouth
so I need to drink later.

But I am always peeing all times of the night. I did much better last night
than I usually do. So I felt it was a victory.

Have a good angry day, I know that sounds bad and weird. But if being
angry is helping you feel better even a little bit then go for it.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

thanks so very much.
love,
bobby

i think i have to learn yoga because i can barely walk. even when i used to exercise a lot i still had chronic constipation from my f@cking medications..
now i am not depressed just worried. i am thinking of getting off my antidepressant that hardly works and causes constipation.

still not depressed, anxious or irritable. why?

If your talking about yourself. I honestly don't know why your no.t

Maybe one of the medicines is working better than your thinking.

Or you just are not having those problems right now.

right now i am feeling so physically awful. my stomach aches so much. i am thinking that i might have to have my colon removed. the new drug i am trying will probably take a week to work but i don't think it will. i am so terrified.
love,
bobby wishing i had your beautiful attitude.

I am wondering if you will let the linzess some time before working.
what dose are you taking? I will try this if the lactulous stops working.

I would rather take a pill than the super sweet liquid ....

love bizi

290. i am terrified and i have had so much stress in over a month. i can't take it.
love,
bobby

Dear bobby I am sorry you are this upset.Stop taking laxatives and give the lizess time to work. will be away from the computer until sunday, so I will post more then. We are going to see my BIL new home and then head to pensecola beach for the weekend.
I think there is a lot of rain in the forecast.
rats
love bizi

have fun.
love
bobby

i have so much anger in me. i have to stop thinking about my family and all the pain they inflicted on me. one of my psychiatrists said my bipolar wouldn't have been this bad if i had had another family. i wonder if it is too late to make believe.

Bobby

I'm not sure what you want to make believe. Maybe you can make believe
a new family. I am not sure if that is maybe what you mean.

I think it would be fine to do that.

Donna :grouphug::hug:



Bizi

Have a great time

exactly with a lot more kitties and doggies and no sister but two brothers and a mother who is not a narcissist but the same father.
love,
bobby

Right Bobby,

So create the family you would have liked.

And then talk to them.


Make it the way you like. Let the father, your father be gone,
but talk to him in heaven. And let him know you miss him.
Remember that when they are gone all the problems they
had, like his drinking should be gone too.

Now if this isn't what you believe then, go with what you believe
afterlife is.

I would make up a couple of nieces or nephews that are with
your brothers too. That maybe come and visit you and call.

They could also be the ones that call and talk to you.

Give the kitties and dogs names. And maybe even adopt
them and make them stuffed ones to enjoy.:grouphug:

Donna

great ideas. thanks.
love,
bobby

i don't ever remember being hugged or kissed by my mother or father. my imaginary family will do that a lot.

i just called a help line again. i have been doing it more often lately. what a mess.

Bobby,

Just that my curiosity got the best of me. What are you calling help
lines for. Keep talking about what you would like your family to
do.

We would love to help you figure things out.

Also give us the names of your new kitties and the dogs you will
have.

And the kinds.

Donna:hug::grouphug:

i am so isolated and alone i have been needing to hear a supportive human. I am stopping the new laxative. all it does is give me terrible gas pains.
i have definitely thinking about creating a new family.
love,
bobby thank you so much for caring.