Bobby

I'm here and I know Bizi should be back soon.

Also keep talking to us, we are willing to listen as much
as we can. I am not close enough to try and visit.

I don't know a clue about how to help with your problems.

But I'll see if I can figure some ideas out.

donna :hug::grouphug:

We got back last night late.
Had a good time ate really good food and had bushwhackers and some budwieser 0.0 non alcohol free in between alcohol drinks.
so I showed some restraint.


I am glad that you are using the help line. Keep using them that is what they are there for.
The rest of my family are in new york this week. They saw the music man last night took a couple hour water taxi tour. drove right up to the statue of liberty. They sat roof top and had adult beverages while looking straight at the empire state building.
love,
bizi

i was relieved today. i called linda last week and she didn't call back. i was so hurt. she called today and said she has been going through with a ton of problems such as irs, facebook where she has over 600 friends and her account was hacked,migraines, her son's surgery, her needing a new oncologist and now besides her crippling arthritis, her lower legs all of a sudden have bad circulation and needs to go the doctor., and now even constipation. poor linda but she never gets depressed.
everything is going fantastic with aaron and his new job at a university. he was just complimented after four weeks and told he was one the best they ever hired. his father went with him. he used inspect airplanes so it was a no brainer for him to inspect a car for aaron. aaron said the price dropped over 2000 dollars in the past two weeks. he and his wife are moving into their new apartment next week and his father has a truck so they will do all the moving themselves. aaron is the greatest.
i have been so utterly stressed that i wake up in the middle of the night nauseated. i just can't stop worrying about everything and thinking the worse. i have been having so many stomach aches that i hardly have been doing my p.t. exercises. I am still waiting for my lease to returned.
i found a new author who i really enjoy. i am on her second book.
linzess worked yesterday but all morning i kept on feeling i had to go and i kept on peeing. i never experienced anything like that before. i took another pill two hours ago and waiting to see if anything will happen. rats, i am so frightened. i am all over the place.
love,
bobby
it was so nice talking to sam on sunday. if i could walk he said we could go for walks,

thank God my appetite is finally back to normal/ that is a relief. F@ck those drugs.

i forgot Aaron's wife sounds as great as he is. She is Russian and lived here for a year in high school. She is fluent in English and I forgot what other language. Now she is teaching herself Spanish. At my request Aaron sent me a couple of pictures she had recently painted. She is really talented.
They met when the went to graduate school in Germany and married with his whole family coming over the wedding and then had to wait THREE YEARS before the Russian government let her come here.

i got my lease yesterday. what a relief. i forgot linda's hair is falling out too.
she never gets depressed.
i hardly slept last night. today will be my last time to take linzess. t didn't work again. i will use up my bottles of magnesium citrate liquid. i got a call from the company where i bought and was told they would pay the cost of returning it because of the contamination. i said no way. i said the constipation was so awful i don't care if using it kills me.. i can't stand suffering.

Bobby

The guys sound so good. I think if Sam is willing to come help you
walk outside the apartment. You should give it a try.

If not that then take your walker, If I remember it has a seat on it.
So you could sit on that to go down in the elevator and then use
it part of the time to do some walking.

I remember that Sam was very understanding and very calming for
you. So it would be good for you.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

sam is so lovely but he had asked if we could go to the park. i have no endurance what so ever. i walk around the apartment without the walker. i pray that i don't fall again and have another set back. That laxative really isn't working. what a mess. i keep on feeling i have to go but nothing happens. My stomach is bothering me but not painful.i have been drinking more water but then am constantly having to go to the bathroom. i will call the doctor on friday and tell him what is not working.
my antidepressant is helping a little.
love,
bobby
i can't control that other walker.

i feel so awful. . Those two laxatives I took didn't help but made me feel so much worse. I was debating in the middle of the night if I should call for an ambulance. I left a message for my doctor about stopping the medicine and saying what should i take for pains in my stomach. he won't be back til monday but his receptionist will try to get him the message.

Bobby

Just curious, How much are you eating? Is it possible your stomach
is hurting because your not eating enough.

Im just wondering if it would help if you eat something that might
soothe the stomach.

No I don't have a clue what just thinking out loud.

Sam, is a keeper, too bad you can't walk to the park. Me if it was
me, I think I'd get a wheelchair and have him push me to the park.

Just so I could get out. Yes, I know you aren't wanting to get to that
point yet. But its just what I'd do.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

it is pure ibs. right now i am so f@cking terrified to eat. i can't stand the pain, nausea and constipation. doctors don't have a clue but i guess it is related to stress and more women get it then men. i already had chronic constipation for years from medication. yesterday i had oatmeal and prepared salad, potato and english muffin. i had two teaspoons of olive oil.
sam is a keeper but no way in the world would i burden him with my health problems. i tell him he is a real catch all the time.
love,
bobby

my doctor called me back just now. he said he didn't have anything else to recommend. he said just take what i was taking before. rats. i asked again to pay him and once again he said don't worry about it.
my stomach still feels very weird i am making coffee now. i am terrified to eat anything so i will just have coffee and tea. it is such a wretched idea to eat anything because it will cause more pain, bloating and gas. tomorrow i will have some soup. i ordered flaxseed oil and start having that twice a day to see if that helps. again the warm water and lemon didn't help.

Dear bobby, I will try the linzess.
I used to take laxatives every day so now I am left with a lazy colon.
Don't know what else to take. I don't want to take the

mag citrate because of it interfering with my calcium blood levels.
Am going to call my MD office in the morning before they close at noon.
Sorry your IBS is making you miserable.
(((((HUGS))))))
love bizi

oops. i wonder if my doctor checks for that in my blood test.
love,
bobby

i just checked the calcium and it was in the normal range.

Sorry Bobby.

Wish I had some ideas.

Donna

i just ordered cans of chicken vegetable that got great reviews but it is high in sodium. i will just drink a lot more water afterwards. i have already increased drinking a lot of water.
I had bought a steak that is still good but now i am terrified to eat it.
love,
bobby

maybe you could cut up the steak into 4 pieces and freeze 3 of them in separate freezer bags and have the forth piece of steak so it will be a smaller portion to try and see how your tummy reacts to this. don't waste your steak.
The soup sounds good!
love bizi

will try. i am calling the help line now. i would never ever kill myself because of my fear of God. i am just so depressed. i am just so isolated and old and feel lousy and can hardly walk.
love you,
bobby

i love the way andrea bocelli smiles besides of course his voice.

he is amazing. I saw a video of him sing the prayer with celine dion. It was fabulous!
bizi

you can't believe how much i listen to him. all night tonight, go to youtube and listen to a perfect symphony. i adore it. i read when i am listening to him and a lot of times listen to him all night.

That was so special, beautiful.
thanks for sharing.
love, bizi

i am still overspending. yesterday on ebay i offered 20 dollars for a gorgeous pair of pants. there was shipping charge of about 10 dollars. i felt safe that they would decline the offer because they wanted 40 dollars. i did my impulse offer and just knew it would be either counter offered or just rejected. guess what. they accepted the 20 dollars. was i shocked.
I am such a f@cking mess. My bipolar is getting worse and now I refuse any new drugs to try because of the f@cking side effects I have had. also no new
f@cking prescription laxatives that didn't work and only made me feel awful and didn't work.
to spend more money today i will look for supplements and vitamins that would help for cognition. I used to be super bright and now can't stand the decline. i will throw in another f@ck. The Rabbi intern said that as long as I don't swear with God's name there is nothing in the religious teachings that ban swearing.
Soft Surroundings In Bloom Pull On Floral Pants Ankle Crop Pull On 2X Women EUC | eBay

Do Brain Supplements Actually Work? – Cleveland Clinic. sh@t

The Canadian Network for Mood and Anxiety Treatments recently shared their findings that Omega-3 fatty acid supplements were effective in treating mild to moderate depression. The antidepressant effect from these supplements come into play because they modify serotonin transmissions in the brain.

i am going to have that three times a day. it also helps constipation.
i don't know if i have the control to go on an oatmeal diet-just eating oatmeal for your meals. it says you can lose 2 pounds a week. i have also been freaking out about the price of food. i used to buy creamed spinach for 1.99. now it is 2.99. i think prices are going up every week. an oatmeal diet would solve that problem.
i bid on another beautiful pair of pants that retail for 89 dollars. they accepted my offer of 12 dollars plus shipping.
i no longer feel like researching bipolar 2. i know it all too well. i don't know what further can help me. i just have to remind myself when i am severely depressed which is often, it will pass. i can't stop thinking that the worse will happen.
i think my therapist will help me cope with the damage my toxic family heaped on me. i really was a good kid.

I like Bizi's Idea of cutting it in 4 pieces. I hope this works for
you.

Donna

bobby,
I am having terrible gas pains from the lactulous twice a day. I will never take this again. my stomach hurts I have farting up the wazoo. never knowing if I will finally have a bm. this is day 2 of not going I have taken a total of 4 stool softeners thinking that might help so far nothing if I don't go today I will take a laxative.
love bizi

I took 2 gas ex and my passing gas and stomach ache went away.
so grateful did you try that bobby?If no stool by tonight,
I will take a laxative again.
I am skipping a party because I did not feel well with all of my symptoms, damn lactulose!

Tomorrow I will call my md office and and

give her a report and ask for an rx of linzess,

a high dose to start as my colon needs all of the help it can get.
bizi

i threw it out

gas ex didn't help me. linzess made me feel much worse than latulose. i am just about take another bottle of magnesium citrate. then i am going to try to fall asleep. i wonder how people get operations. didn't kay have one.

finally i went a bit after two bottles. what a scare. i thought it stopped working and was trying to prepare myself for an operation and wondering if i would die having it done. nothing like being bipolar.
talked to sam tonight. he said he thought i was awesome. he made me feel so good.
i also have been having trouble with the computer. i think i need a new one.

i went a lot this morning but felt nauseated all night. i am going to try to fall asleep. i took my bath, threw out garbage, brushed my teeth, cleaned cups, cleaned the toilet and added food for the kitties. i wish i had the control to fast. i can't believe i talked with sam about my problem and fears i might need surgery. he was so kind

that was a lot of activity!
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

i still feel high from what sam said. since he said it i haven't been depressed. i also had a wonderful compliment from Suri who was an Orthodox Jew and married to a rabbi. she said i was the holiest person she ever knew. her daughter told me that that was what Suri had told her. i miss suri so much.

Bobby,

I am still so sorry that Suri died. Does Suri's daughter still call and talk
to you? Wonder if you could figure out a way to come up with a way to
write down Sam's words so you can keep them with you at all times.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

bobby, am sorry that suri died.

I like what donna suggested about writing down to keep with you.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

i have to email her daughter. we haven't spoken in a while. i will never get over suri's death. i have something she wrote that i read. right now i can't be supportive of her daughter who is wonderful.
I will never forget what sam said to me. my depression came back.
love,
bobby

she is going to call me tonite.

i can't sleep. i am worried if that laxative is going to work again,

it worked again but i still have a stomach ache. i have to write alice again because she didn't get it. doctors don't know how to treat ibs-c. Mine started just as soon as Suri died. It has to be related to emotions. i have had chronic constipation for years since I started taking constipating medications. With IBS you have stomach pains, gas, nausea and bloating and a lot of times it interferes with your sleep because you feel so lousy. For some people there is also vomiting. magnesium citrate liquid which they use before you take a colonoscopy works i guess because it is so strong. They pulled it off the market because of contamination and there is no word when they will selling it again. one company makes most of it.
most people who have it aren't bipolar.