being able to post after my shower.


today is such a crumby day.

Meg...

Why is today a crummy day?? Did something happen?? or did something not happen that you were expecting?? Remember not everything in life turns out as we expect.

Sometimes we hold people to higher expectations than they hold themselves... and this is where a lot of people get hurt...because if they don't think enough of themselves...odds are they don't think to highly of others.

How is your new job coming along??
I know what you are learning there as my sister worked her way up from newbie to Assistant Store Manager w/CVS and should have her own store within the next couple of years. She said to tell you to take it easy...ask questions--there are no dumb questions only dumb if not asked....and have fun.

Hope you have a better tomorrow...


Abbie

i am having one of my mood swings. I am EXTREMLY mad, like VERY VERY mad, not at anythign specifically just really very very angry and I feel like everyone doesn't care.

I DONT UNDERSTAND. WHY DO GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO TERRIBLE PEOPLE AND THE PEOPLE WHO DESERVE HELP AND A BREAK GET NOTHING?!

and im not trying to be like HEY I DESERVE EVERYTHING but seriously....i cant even get any effing help!? I'M 18 AND I HAVE ISSUES, THEY'RE NOT PHYSICAL ISSUES BUT THEY HINDER MY EXISTANCE DOES NYONE CARE?!

apparently not, and no one wants to help.



I need to save up some money and get a plane ticket and just move to England or something. I don't care just somewhere where no one nos me and they're more helpful. Australia seems nice, I could totally see myself moving there.

this is all to much and im starting to get so fed up that im trying to think of every alternative other than suicide and my list is very short.



everything effects everything else, its like each problem i have is a 10 gallon bucket. when i try to deal with one, i get a bucket poured on me in the hole im in, and each bucket is connected so one bucket pukks another bucket down, till now when its getting to the point im going to drown and im going to be done. gone.

please. please. someone just help me. Somehow. i cant do ANYTHING anymore.

Oh Meg.....major loving hugs coming your way!

I feel your pain and I wish I had the magic answers for you, but I don't!

I'm in Australia, and yes we are nice.....well I think I am nice, and I know my friends certainly are nice.....but we're the same as every other country! There are good and bad everywhere. It's what you make it yourself that makes each place special!

Please don't think about running away to another country. You'd have no job, no friends, no social structure....no nothing! You'd be more alone in "the idyllic" country than you are in your own area that you hate so much!

Maybe you could consider moving to a different part of your own country, but please stay where you understand the politics of work, money and socialization.

Have a look around if that's what you want....but don't move too far away that you lose touch with the norm of every day living.

Meg...

What exactly are you mad at????

What kind of help do you need??? What kind of help do you expect others to give/provide to you?? What do you expect to get out of the help you are able to receive???

I really do understand the need to run... to go to someplace where no one knows you... I did that. I saved up money.... packed my bags... told no one... and I moved overseas... lived there for several months.... GUESS WHAT!!! The problems that I was running from...well they came right along with me and stayed with me once I moved back to the U.S., but...one step at a time... the problems, worries, and concerns I was running from...crumbled into nothing.

I found people pretty much the same no matter where I went. Pretty much the same as where I left from....

I found that if I wanted help.. I had to help myself first before anyone anywhere was willing to help me. I had to take the first steps...I had to make the effort.

I understand you are 18 and life in general has you overwhelmed right now. You are out of highschool... possibly expected to find a way to make it on your own...but my guess is you really have no clue which way to go or what to do. **I say this as I've been there...done that.

Growing up is frightening and extremely overwhelming!!!! To be honest... you sound like the majority of 18yr old young adults everywhere.


Abbie

Dear Meg,
I'm sorry that you are feeling so yucky.
Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.
Give yourself a hug for me.



It sounds from you that the counselor at school is your best bet for now.

Call her Monday and start seeing her more regularly.
Tell her everything, including about your classes.

She needs to see the whole picture so she can help you.

You can help yourself by reaching out to her.


Let her know that you are in huge need of help.

And get a new pdoc Monday too.
You need people who are pulling for you.

The pdoc needs to be someone on your team.

And remember to hold on. You'll get through all these things that are bothering. You really will.



Mari

Here's a brief list of things that have heppened in the past few weeks:
-started work at the pharmacy
-ER visit (not panic attack but for my ribs)
-i told my dad im not going to school next semester
-i need to find heath care NOW.


and on top of it all, today is , unfortunately, my birthday.

I'll update tonight after work (im working 2-10)

the pharmacy doesn't offer any health insurance? or only full time employees?
How is work going?
how did your dad take your school issues?
I hope you had something nice for your birthday.
bizi

i have to ask the pharmacy about insurance.
wwork was for a time, fun now its terrble
dad was okay he just said i csant be on his insurance

i had a terrible birthday.

I hate to say this but there are alot of folks who work at jobs that they don't love because it provides health insurance and money which we all need to live.
HOw satisfied we are in our jobs has a lot to do with how we perceive our roles.
attitude is everything.
hang in there keep posting we are here to listen.
((((HUGS))))
bizi