Dear BJ,

Therapy goes through phases.
Here is my take -- and I'm not there with you but this is a guess. Please forgive me if I am off.

Sometimes therapy becomes not so much about you but how you react to the therapist. So the RELATIONSHIP with the therapist ends up being the focus for a little while. Maybe you need to spend more time talking about the two of you and how you work together.
Relationships with other people are hugely important in our real life lives. So it makes sense that therapy is a good safe place to work on how we relate to other people.

Write out a list of things and bring it with you.
Or print out your last few posts here and bring them with you.
She wants to help. And it sounds like she has helped you in some areas.

People who are successful in therapy are articulate (I read that somewhere -- seriously.)
The more you can articulate your needs and respond to her requests and issues your way, the more successful your experience might be.

Therapy works when you talk. (Duh. I know that was a duh.)
Maybe you have reached a new stage now and need to talk about what you want out of therapy.


Please tell her (make very clear) your concern about this time of year. I know that you fully intend on getting through this time successfully. Let her become a partner in your success.
Tell her your concerns.


Opening the doors in therapy that you have opened takes courage. You are brave and it sounds like you are trying to move ahead.

You have fought very hard to make progress and have made some successes. Keep fighting.

You are making progress, so what you are doing is working.

M.

Interesting news (at least I think so! LOL!)
I take Topamax for my migraines.
I'm on a low dosage now (thank you to my Higher Power...I do NOT care for the stuff).
Anyway, just sniffing the bottle messes up my memory.
I take a supplement called "PS." Honestly, it helps me.

Well...some of you know, I have an adopted dau who has BP I.
Guess what? Recently, I convinced her to also take it. She takes some fairfly typical meds that many of you take here.
These meds also bother her memory.
Guess what? Her memory has been better as well. It's just a tad better...but like me, "she'll take it!"
IT's a long word....
abbreviated as "PS." YOu can get it at Whole Foods and www.iherb.com.
I just take one tablet. Certainly, you would have to watch for additional symptoms if you have bipolar illness. So far (it's only been about two weeks), my dau hasn't had any problems w/ it.

Here is something from the iherb site...a typical "review" for the Jarrow Brand, which is the one I usually get:
As good as the best.,
From Colorado
I've used PS for years and this is as good as the best. I do feel that I focus more clearly and feel just a little bit uplifted, if that even makes any sense. But, I will repurchase.

When I was seeing my old tdoc everything was fine in the beginning. I felt comfortable talking about myself, and made a lot of progress, and then I just stopped talking, and even though I wanted to talk to her, something inside me just told me not to say anything. And she got extremely frustrated with me, and several times asked me why I bothered to come to therapy if I wasn't going to talk. And soon after that she fired me.

And now with this other tdoc it seems like the same thing is happening and I want to talk, and tell her everything that's on my mind, but now she tells me not to talk about being bipolar.

After saying what she did she asked me if there was anything she could do to make it more comfortable for me. She asked me if I thought she fidgeted too much, does she do things that make me feel uncomfortable. She knew she made me uncomfortable.
I have very few memories of my teens. I think of my memory like a deep dark ocean - every now and then a memory comes near the surface like a big whale and as I reach for it, it disappears. I don’t even have to ask, this is what she wants to talk about but I don’t, not now.

I read online today……….. “The message is clear. Take your therapist off the pedestal and take ownership of your therapy.” Sounds easy but I’m so afraid if I question her she will fire me too.

I had an awful end to the day. I decided to take Hooper to the dog park after work. But while driving there I remembered there’s a dog virus going around and dogs have died from it. So I decided to take her to this baseball field where I didn’t see anyone. She had a blast because she loves to run in circles. It doesn’t look like it’s used anymore so I figured it’s safe.

As I was going back to the car a park officer came up to me. He looked so angry and intimidating. He told me I was in violation of the animal control laws and would be fined $200 for having her off the leash and another $100 for having her play on the ball field.

I felt like he was treating me unfairly and had this awful feeling that I was going to cry. But I didn’t want him to see how much he had hurt me. He gave me this big long lecture about the laws. I felt just like a bad little kid when my dad was punishing me.

He finally said he’d give me a warning. I had so much to say but instead just walked away so angry at myself, so belittled, so hurt. I just didn’t want Hooper to get sick.

I might ask my pdoc if it's okay to take this herb VL. But do you know the name of it? I can't find anything with a PS.

WEll I am sure you were upset.
You did not know, I am glad that he only gave you a warning but the scolding/lecture hurts.
I am sorry there is a dog virus going around...that is not good.
I read a book a while agocalled....if you meet the budda on the road....
the pilgrimage of psychotherapy patients.
the back cover says"
in the book it talks about the patient throwing himself to the therapist wanting to be caught, the therapist steps aside. The patient is bewildered.
It is the patients work to fixing her problems the therapist is only there to help guide them on the pilgramage...the journey.

talk to her she is human, tell her your fears...she will be ok with that.
(((((HUGS)))))
beth

BJ

My thoughts on the cop or person, just wanted to be some bigwig who
could pick on someone. And you were the one he got the chance with.

Don't worry about it. You didn't know and its just the way it goes.
The fact that he gave you just a warning says something in itself.

So I hope you can find a safe place for your dog soon.

Donna

PS is phosphatidylserine.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phosphatidylserine

Here are examples of brands to choose from:
http://www.iherb.com/Search?kw=phosphatidylserine


Here is a monograph on it:
http://healthlibrary.epnet.com/GetCo...chunkiid=21843

Dear BJ,

That encounter with the cop would bother anyone. It sounds like you handled it well.
Maybe ask the vet his / her opinion about taking Hooper to the dog park.

Keep talking to the tdoc. The more you talk, the more you will benefit from therapy.
Bring notes with you or print out what is here to talk to her before you get started on the session.
Ask her to help you during this time in the next weeks. Tell her how important her help is. Ask her for advice about how to get through the time successfully.



M.

I basically agree with a lot of what has been said about therapy here... especially Mari's comments on working on the relationship with your therapist, and communicating your needs as well as your reactions to some of the troublesome sessions. But i know that is hard to do. I am not going to rehash what has already been said very well, but i will wish you good luck, and courage at this something of a crossroads in therapy.

i will just add that, the more in tune you and your t are, the better she will be able to support you through the upcoming anniversary period. i hope you will be able to let her know you need her for this.



~ waves ~

p.s. sorry i've been sort of MIA on and off the past few days. had stuff to do and been very tired is basically where it's at. physically and emotionally. a huge THANK YOU for your most recent PM... and i will answer... i just wanted to post to the forum first since i'd been gone a bit.