I want to scream. Going out is a trip to the Doctor or the rehab gym. I am so lonesome for company I am going crazy. This stupid disability is slowly grinding me down.

I am so bored with everything I don't even want to use the computer because all the things I go to involve my friends who work etc. I am becoming what I most feared. "That" guy who just sits around and leaches on disability. I have some stuff going on but it is not every day and so I have huge periods of down time and then everything is busy at once. I sleep all the time just to make the time pass. Now I'm getting bored with sleeping.

try not to get to down,your friends aparently do not understand and you realy can't blame them they probably have never delt with this type of stuff before, do you do any hobbies?they are a good way to put your mind some were else and can make the time go by a little faster,take it from someone that has not left her home exsept on the first of the month to pay bills and get food,but it is probably for diferont resons though, going out side my home scars me.I just found this site a few days ago but it realy seems that the people here are very nice and willing to help anyone that is in need if you just need someone to talk to i would be glad to talk as long as you would like I am not always on line but I do get on at least three times a day and will see if your on or have posted and will get back as soon as posable.the sleep thing comes with the depression, hang in there

I didn't notice anything about you mentioning a therapist or case manager. Your depression does not have to stem from any circumstances in life. Speaking with a therapist about building a routine, structuring your life in a way that you feel involved and part of a shared community is also within the realm of a therapist's duties. A case manager can also put you into outreach for community support where again you can feel involved in a community, supportive and contributive.

Thanks Gos and Ginnie. I am working with someone. A neuropsych. Because of the serious brain injuries I have had I'm "special." A Lot of it is a control issue, I have no control over when my body decides to have another stroke. I'm basically the human PDR. 1-13 medicines 1-3 times a day. (and they have kept jumbling them to get the right combination) So that is a causation issue.
They tell me find something you like. Well, I did and it just happens to be an outrageously expensive sport. Plus I can't do it on the time and I just can't break that bronze medal range. As I've said before, I was a Division I basketball player and now I can't run. I can't take the twins over to a park and run around bla bla bla.
Don't concentrate on what you can't do. Hmm, I use a cane and can't run and all sorts of other crap. Yes I know, I'm the onle one this has ever happened to, rub some dirt on it and walk it off. I just want to scream. I was told to check out this senior group (I'm 57) There were enough oxygen tanks there that if someone lit a match it would have gone up.
My wife goes to work, my daughter and her husband go to work, the twins go to school and the baby goes to daycare. At least I have my license again.
I think I need some cheese with my whine.

that was my problem to.i became disable at 52yrs..that was a major shock for me.what i did was a simple solution.i just join the "YMCA".yes i know your disable and so am i.i just found things i can do and most of all ,now i have new friends.i go everyday.even if i dont exercise,good place to use the "spa"and to interact with people.they come from all walks of life

Thanks Don. I work out a a rehab center called the Challenge Center. They only work with stroke survivors. I know I have gone from barely able to stand and do 2 minutes on the elliptical to doing 20 minutes. We were talking about it the other day.

The Center is like an extended family of people who "get"it. My wife and I just had a talk before that she is getting tired of me having such a negative attitude. Look at me.. All I do is take up space. I have worked all my life. Babysitting, paper route, mowing lawns, shoveling snow etc. I can't believe the stuff my old employer said about me. And they had no backup documentation.

My wife said I go to my fencing tournaments. 3 tournaments a year. Once again, spending time with people in a chair and get it. Can't somebody fix me?

I am glad you are talking to someone. I miss what I was too, a woman with my own hard earned 35 year career. Lets scream together! Yeh I feel like that too sometimes. None of it is easy, but we got friends here...ginnie

that sounds just about likr me(or anyone else )i to was very difficult for me to start a new."New
friends,places i go now,using the "ymca"alot,etc,was a big new challenge for me (and others).also coming here alot..i like to listen to people here,even if i dont have advice i like being here and lending and ear to those who just wants so one to listen to them.

As my wife was leaving to go on errands she told me "That's why we don't take you anywhere, you can't walk." (that far)

I wish we could all fix each other. I would if I could, I feel like humpy dumpty myself at times.....ginnie