(((((Laura)))))

You may NOT want to know this but they did a BIG Million Dollar study and found that the happiest, most content, impaired thinking MS folks were those who had progressed to the point that they could no longer remember what they can't do anymore.

So get a little worse and things will seem much better.

jackD AKA Braindead

Jules, some cognitive difficulty may be aging, but my cognition is not worse than it was 30 years ago when I was at the height of my neuro (undiagnosed) difficulty. I completely lost the ability to think at more than a pre-school level when they put a toxic rug in my college where I taught. So I had to quit that day. I couldn't even wait. I had to let them get someone to take the class. I had had difficulty with lights and other things before, but this was the last straw.
At that time I was tested cognitively, and my IQ had gone down about 18 points. I think it went back up. I never stopped attending Mensa lunches, at least when I could get there in the car, when I improved enough to drive again, after the horrible rug incident.

I have what MS pundits call "loss of executive function". It means I can't "file" things. This makes doing my records and taxes a misery, but I do them all in increments and don't scold myself when I have trouble. That's the important thing, not to blame yourself when you lose cognition.

Today was a bad cognition day. I had to deal with H and R block over a tax glitch from 2010, and I left my wallet at home because I was unable to coordinate everything very well. I made several cognitive boo-boos, but I continued on and just told them I had a neuro illness and it slowed me down. And they believed me, I think, because sometimes I'm "sharp" and they can see that this comes and goes.
But I felt sad coming home alone, still whacked in the brain but hoping.

JackD, do you have a link for that study? I'd like to check it out. The dreaded MS euphoria makes me sad and a bit frightened for my future when I see the odd blank smiles on some people with CNS diseases like MS, Alzheimer's etc. Interestingly enough there is information to indicate that although they appear content that isn't a true measure of their mood.

"Hinsie and Campbell6 define euphoria as a morbid or abnormal sense of well-being. Freedman and associates use the term to denote an altered state of consciousness characterized by an exaggerated feeling of well-being inappropriate to apparent events."
http://www.cnsonline.org/www/archive/ms/ms-01.html

This discussion makes me realize how little science knows about MS. How do they know those with vapid smiles are suffering internally? How on earth? Yes, posting the study might be worthwhile.
I have learned over the decades that the knowledge about MS and other neurological diseases is poor. The only thing I go on is "what works". Some people seem to do marvelously on LDN and I wish I could take it, but unlikely to work for me because of my Porphyria. The Swank diet works for me because it's obvious that my symptoms increase if I get off it for more than one day. I start to stagger if I get off it when traveling or something like that. So that's another "what works" for me. I would definitely try LDN if I could take it.

I eat pretty close to The Swank diet (no red meat, very low Saturated, no Trans Fat) and have faithfully since the summer/fall of 2008 (if memory serves me correctly, may be a bit off).

I agree Mariel. When I go on vacation, while I'm such an angel about my diet 355 days of the year, the other 10 I'm the devil. I'm like a child in a candy store about eating. I don't read labels! I don't count fat contents! The only rule I'm steadfast about is not consuming red meat.

My MS becomes the fist of justice soon after, everything flares up to some degree to remind me "It's no honeymoon princess, put away the horns and the tail!".

It's simply not worth it, and I know better every time. Last vacation I was a lot 'better' (behaved) and cooked a lot more for hubby and I. He's a type 1 diabetic so we both fared a lot better in the end ultimately.

(my cognitive work battle rages on, speaking of the first of justice. Tough week's done, work appeal for modified work duties/accommodation has been submitted for review via insurance/doctors, now the waiting game and follow up appointment next week)

Oh, I had a situation today where I completely fumbled over wishing a client (very nice lady) a Happy Mother's Day. I almost wished her a Happy Birthday (not EVEN kidding), thankfully I was able to giggle and she was able to giggle and I explained it had been a long day/week - hey, it's Friday. Considering that was the second call of my day (8 hour shift), yeah... I shouldn't be on the phone. What a mess. I'm glad we weren't busy.

{{{{{{{{SallyC}}}}}}}}}}

I have so many people say "dont you remember when we..." NO! I dont! Friends will say "i just told you that ten minutes ago" I say "i remember some of what you said, but not all, can you repeat it?" I just cant hang onto a thought nowadays.

It's so frustrating huh Dej?

My manager got snippy with me the other day because I asked her a question I apparently had asked her several times before, then I asked if she could send me the forms again (workplace accommodation stuff cont.) and he reply was "They're the same forms I sent to you 3 times already!!!". I don't think this was a professional answer, but she's also not in my shoes, so I can see both sides of it: Me knowing that my brain's like a block of Swiss cheese out on a Texas sidewalk in mid-July, and her seeing me as the unorganized, scatterbrained, handful of an employee who can't get her carp together to pan-fry it.

I apologized to her and located the stuff I needed on my own. Thankfully I found it tucked away for safe keeping (oh thank you thank you THANK YOU creating folders capability in email!) and another kind, patient manager was able to confirm my questions for me.

Ouff. Some days. Enjoying my 3 days off. Pampered myself today to a haircut and colour at the salon. It cost way too much but I don't care. I had an awful week and darnit, we deserve to pamper ourselves sometimes (and don't do enough if you ask me!).

Oh, my, thanks for posting this.

I'm still, as yet, not completely dx'd...at least by my neurologist. My PC has already said MS & is treating me as MS. Not sure how I feel about that; not sure that it matters, as I prefer to move forward & not back.

I've been on this derailed freightrain of a life for the last 2.5 years. First signs of something wrong were memory issues & speech problems; specifically, lucky me, not being able to say what I was thinking; losing vocabulary, speech pattern delays...ya know, that word is right on the tip of your tongue...and then it's completely gone? Going to a drive-thru & asking for ketchup (I thought) & having the girl look at me, like I was speaking a foreign language...so I repeated it...still same look. VERY Scary.

I always was indifferent to my math skills...losing them, like not being able to calculate simple addition & subtraction in my head is also very disconcerting. My family is used to me being able to handle all the finances, all the stress-inducing situations & most all of everyones "help me" times...both I & they are at a loss for my less than stellar brain fog issues. I'm used to being the one to find the answers...not be the one who needs the answers.

The physical problems are less of an issue for me. Don't get me wrong, they are major problems but somehow, less worrisome, if you get my drift.

My reason for posting this is this: my company (not necessarily my direct boss) has said that they can't really do anything for a medical condition, as long as I am continuing to try to get help or be tested; but, I wonder, if money issues prevent me from getting that dx (from the neurologist), can I be fired for issues beyond my control? It's like walking a tightrope sometimes.

It hurts to read of the struggles here, Laura, Dejibo, NewtoNet, and yet it's a comfort to me to read that others are like me, struggling along. It seems most of us were once pretty strong "thinkers", and now we feel diminished and have to put up with some people who are not sympathetic or helpful with that.
Laura, once I called on a student in a high school class I had in CA, long ago, long before dx, and said "hello" instead of her name. She thought it was sorta funny, but that was my "advanced" class, who were capable of some degree of toleration.
Today I am trying to go through papers, and even though they are only MY papers, not an employer's, still it's a struggle. I don't have a good filing system. I might buy a new desk if I lived in an area where such things were easily accessible. Unfortunately I can only buy either a metal or all natural wood desk, so my options are not good---impossible at Walmart, HomeDepot, Lowe's etc.. There is a store here in our small town which does carry all-wood furniture made by Amish. I so wish I could buy a desk from them, and a side table to the bed. Their furniture must be 3 or 4 times the cost of a desk at Home Depot. When we lived in Seattle, my husband could go get me a metal desk at a Boeing furniture sale, for maybe $50. I am so sensitive to ersatz wood that I cannot use a normal desk's ledge to put my keypad on...I must have wood that is 100% natural, not even coated. So my desk ledge, which is teak and nice, but coated with something, will not do, and I told you how I bought a piece of real wood at Home Depot, and the man said they had only 16 linear feet of real wood in the place, the rest was composite from China, and, he added, all toxic. I have to wear a carbon filter mask to go into Home Depot.

Supposedly this sensitivity is from Porphyria rather than MS. It is probable that through some odd genetic weirdness, I got both of these diseases and I don't apologize for being
weird enough to have two diseases which cause somewhat similar neuro symptoms. But I usually don't tell people I have both...too hard to explain. And you all know I have Polycythemia Vera too.
today the struggle is almost not worth doing, but I've put off the "papers" too long. So I have to do it even if cognition is impaired.
I told my son today that he keeps telling me I'm stupid (or something slightly less bad) but then does not help me with technical things (on the puter or printer) slow enough to allow me to learn. I think he got the message...he is trying harder these days.