Momma used to say, "you get more flies with honey, than vinegar" (dont know why we were hunting flies, but I digress...)

I have found that a kind word, and patience, even in the face of a frustrated, overworked, underpaid, under educated, and under prepared for her job worker nets me MUCH bigger gains than the tirade of obscenities that I wish to spew upon them. Its hard sometimes to be patient, but is worth it.

Also, its better to ask for forgiveness, than permisson. you can always say. "Oh, Im sorry, i didnt know that. thank you for helping me" and deal with it later. Asking permisson generally gets you a rule book the size of a NYC phone book, and the appeals process bible. Just nod and smile.

It is sooooo helpful to have an advocate, and that is exactly why I send folks to the churches, and not just the town halls. Town halls have the funds, and the directions, but churches have the advocates, and the folks willing to roll up their sleeves and go sit with you, or help you late into the night filing out paperwork. you NEED a personal touch, not just a hand ful of papers. Even if you dont now, and never intend to attend that church GO ASK! 99% of the time, they are very helpful. If not, go to the church next door.