John,
Yes I did know dogs could suffer from MG. It is amazing how many diseases we get that they can have too.
Do you think the fuzziness you mention is related to the pred? I really think alot of my problems are related to the long term pred use too.
We have had 3 rainy days here and you are right that they are depressing. Hopefully today it will clear off and I'll take your advice and go for a walk. I'll take the dog with me. He will love that. I don't walk him like I used to and I know he misses it.


Rach,
I totally agree that pred can push people who tend to be anxious over the edge. I have always been pretty high strung and I too notice that the pred makes me feel like I am always one step ahead of myself. It makes me nervous, agitated, irritable and then when I can't sleep I feel like I am fighting a losing battle.

I am sorry to hear you have been having such a hard time yourself. I totally sympathize. Are you still taking pred? I keep wondering how much of a difference coming off of it would make. I had an eyelid that was so droopy it was almost closed before the pred. My fear is that as soon as I stop the pred it will come back. I don't think I can deal with that again, not just because of the insecurity it caused when out in public but because my vision was so effected and from constantly tilting my head back to look up my neck bothered me constantly. It is so depressing but I am so thankful that all of you are so supportive and always have such good information. I wish you the best Rach and hope you are feeling better than you were.
Kendra

I'm off the pred have been for a year. Ive always had an anxious personality. I had it under control but at the moment its a constant battle I always find something to worry about. I think the pred just got me into that cycle of thoughts again. I have a few weeks where it goes and then it comes back again. Im just trying to get myself out of a cycle of it at the moment.

At the moment my moods are fine, its just the constant anxiety that wears me down.

I think due to my social isolation, I don't work all my friends do, Husband out at work all day I just have too much time on my own and little to distract me. So I try my best to fill my days as much as possible. Its a horrid place to be right now. But I will get through it becuase I have before.

I feel for you Kendra, as I know how crippling depression can be.

Love
Rach

Kendra,

I'm so sorry that you're feeling depressed and have been having these memory problems! *hugs*

So the doc. says that cellcept can cause memory problems? Well, that's a relief to know that it's from the meds., and will get better once the dosage is reduced/stopped...I wasn't aware that these meds. could cause cognitive problems!

I totally relate to your feelings, so you're not alone, girl! I absolutely get depressed....I was very depressed just before getting this disease...I was under a lot of stress..Well, it's kinda complicated, because I was definately feeling very ill at this time too, and felt depressed because I wasn't feeling any better, and felt like i was getting worse...Really wanted to get on with my life, but had no energy and kept having new problems after every turn...It's all so complicated...

Don't let the depression tempt you into its trap. The classic strategy is to cause you to avoid friends/family, cause you to sleep excessively/not enough, eat a lot/not enough...

I think that all of our feelings are important, even sadness and depression. We experience those feelings for a reason. Maybe we feel, on some level, that we need to mourne over the past, in order to let it go...Or give ourselves a kick in the rear in order to get things done that we're indecisive about, or to make decisions that are healthier for us, but take a lot of mental/emotional work to go through...But if it gets outta hand...no conclusion is presenting itself, and things are getting worse, then I understand your fears about it...But hey, look at what you've been through! It's a negative situation that warrants some 'negative' emotions....But they don't have to be negative in the long-run...It sucks to feel them at the moment, but maybe you need those feelings because you feel that something under your control is hurting you...I'm only saying this because that's how I feel often when I get depressed...It's usually because I can't stop doing something that's no good for me, or 'can't' make a better choice because it's not something I'm accustomed to...

I know you've probably heard it a million times, as I have, but remember the serenity prayer...

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

Even if you're not religious, or don't believe in a higher power, it still makes a lot of sense, and so still is great advice (I will take it now as well! )...

I know what you're thinking...When it comes to making hard decisions, like choosing maybe a hard place over a rock (meds. vs. mg), it's so hard to know what to do!

Try as hard as you can to be patient with the MG/meds.. Well, the sides you're experiencing can be dealt with, and I'm praying for you that they go away, because that's somethng that can be changed, and so should be...

Well, things are going to get better for you, believe me! How could they not? You're so nice, and you know when to get help when you feel you need it...The squeeky wheel gets the grease...

You wont have to be on these meds. forever....In my MG book, most of the people in there were able to get better after some time, and go off the meds., whether it was for a few years, or until present...Some people just get better, for seemingly no reason at all, and some of the others just got used to some of the sx. I think there's a certain measure of getting used to some of the sx... In the past, I was under the impression that I was going to go back to normal, which is why I was so upset when I didn't...I've finallly faced up to the fact that I might not be able to sing again like I used to, but now I remember that there are so many things that bring me pleasure, that I can still do...Being able to feel happy, even if it's in the context of losing some things, is good enough, because that's all I was trying to do in the first place is feel happy...

Btw, you're not whining at all! It's good to talk about your feelings- where else will you let off some steam where others really get it?

Anyway, to make a long story even longer, you will be happy again...Look in the mirror every morning and make your affirmations of all the good about you, and really remember all the truth in those affirmations...They're all true just as those bad feelings feel true...Isn't it funny how we never doubt the bad feelings we have, but are distrustful of the good ones?

Kendra:
I don't think I am depressed from the OMG, but the side effects of Prednisone, Mestinon and CellCept can certainly make one depressed. I take 2000 mg of CellCept daily, 60 mg of Mestinon 3 x a day and right now 15 mg of Prednisone daily. Was on 60 and have weaned down to 15. Our goal is to get to 7.5 mg daily. The extra 40 pounds I have gained, legs not feeling like they can lift me (feel like they weigh 50 lbs each) and the weakness of either the extra weight or fluid makes me depressed. My doctor said the Prednisone is making me feel this way and that is one reason is is trying to lower it as fast as we can while being safe about doing so. Mine MG just ocular, which is somewhat different from yours. My left eye twitches all the time (not from the Mestinon - was doing it before I started the Mestinon) which drives me crazy and make me want to scream. I too feel like I want to stay at home in my room and either nap or read. My husband is the love of my life, but at times I don't even want him at home. I just want to listen to music and feel sorry for myself. Years ago I was told my some quack I was clinically depressed. I don't know if I am or not. I am on 60 mg of Cymbalta a day and take Lorazapam (Ativan) when needed, as well. I feel like a walking pharmacy. I have always enjoyed working in my yard - not anymore. I don't have the energy to do anything. That is also depressing. I feel your pain.

What are you on for depression and what kind of side effects are you having from the CellCept? I can't tell what side effects are from what anymore. I was on Infuran and couldn't take that so we switched to CellCept.

You mentioned your memory. I think that is a side effect of the CellCept, not sure. I know I have bouts of not being able to remember names and what I went to another room for. I find myself just staring thinking - "why can't I remember squat anymore"?

I have always been the type of person who interacts at work and enjoys working with people. I don't even want to get out of bed anymore to go to work. I don't want to talk to people when I am there. I just want to do my job and go home.

I haven't felt suicidal either, but I have felt like I would like to get in my car and just drive somewhere. Just don't know where. I think that is a common feeling with depression.

You are no whiner! What you are going through is REAL to you and you can't help it. Just know others out here feel your pain and are here to support you emotionally.

Kathie

Nicky,
Yes the Neuro said there is no doubt this is from the cellcept. I am hopeful it will get better. He said if it doesn't then he plans to take me off of it in 3 weeks. I wasn't aware that it caused memory problems either until I talked ot his nurse. It really is scary how many side effects these meds can cause.

Oh my gosh I had the same feelings before I got sick. I even told my hematologist about it and tried to explain that I was so tired and had very little enrgy or enthusiasm. He then thought it was my thyroid but within a gew months we realized it was MG showing early signs and symptoms. I also was under ALOT of stress when I got sick and will always swear that is what triggered my illness. I have posted before that my boys refer to it as a nervous breakdown. I don't care for that term but I do believe I had a complete emotional breakdown.

Everything you have said here is so right!!! I am just struggling with not being the happy, energetic person I was before who could tackle the world if that was what was on my agenda that day. I am also having alot of guilt for not being able to work much anymore. I just psyically can't do it. My husband is very understanding but it has definitely put us in a huge financial bind. Then to top it off my disability claim was denied. I am meeting with an attorney next week to appeal but that can take 10=12 months!!! The real kicker is that I have a team of Drs and they got medical records from every single one except my Neuro. When I called the Neuros office to ask about it they said they recieved the request and then told Soc Sec they needed the signed medical release form. Soc Sec never sent it back. When I called them and explained they said those things happen and it probably just got pushed on through. I am so mad and frustrated. I do NOT believe this was a mistake. Without the records from my Neuro I wouldn't need Disability. That is way off the subject but just another reason I am depressed I think.

It is funny that you mention The Serenity Prayer. I have it hanging by my bedroom door and look at it every morning!!! It has been inspirational on alot of days when I feel like giving up.

I sooo hope you are right that one day I won't need the meds anymore or if I do I will adjust to them. Thanks so much Nicky!!! You have made me feel better. I am trying to pick myself up and force myself to do things even if I don't want to. I HATE depression and am determined to pull myself out of this hole. Thanks again
Kendra

Kathie,
I think your Dr is right about the Pred making you depressed. I swear it is part of my problem too but the Neuro insists I cannot lower the dose yet. YES all the side effects are so depressing. I have gained 10 pounds, retain water, have insomnia, seem to be carrying the extra weight in my stomach and like Nicky mentioned I am noticing cellulite on my legs that I never had before. I am truly hoping all this will go away once I am off the pred. When you mention you just want to be home and nap or read and sometimes you don't even want your husband there I can totally relate!!! I love my husband to death too but have the very same feelings at times. I find alot of times I just want to be by myself. You will certainly be in my thoughts and prayers because I know how miserable feeling this way is. I feel like a walking pharmacy too. It is insane how many different meds they have me on. I think the combo is part of what is causing my depression. I think my body is in a constant state of confusion from meds that are taken away or added.

I take 100 mg of Sertraline daily. That is the generic for Zoloft. I have been on 50 mg since 2002 when I went into a depression after my mom died. Everytime I tried to come off of it my depression and anxiety came back. My Dr finally told me to just plan to stay on it. My Neuro doubled it to 100 mg about 6 weeks ago.

I so appreciate the support from all of you. I was so hesitant to post because I don't want to come across as negative or a downer but you all have made me feel better with all the replies and support. There has to be light at the end of the tunnel for all of us!!! Kathy hang in there and I'll do the same
Kendra

Hey Kendra,

I'm so sorry for all you've been going through lately. There is a light at the end of the tunnel...I promise you that. I think you are right about all the meds causing so much of the problem, so you're on the right track. It will just take time to get it all sorted out. I admire your courage & strength. Just take it one day at a time and know we are all here for you. Hang in there and I'll be keeping good thoughts.

Big Hugs,
Pat