I am so sorry you are going through such a rough time! I cannot even imagine your suffering. And with RSD, you already have enough suffering on your plate as it is. I pray that you can somehow find moments of peace in this turmoil and draw strength from that. The biggest of hugs and the sincerest of well wishes.

If you get any money, put it in someone else's safety deposit box. Anything in your safe deposit box could be subject to division as marital property.

I would strongly consider using a credit card....or any means....to get the $ for the retainer for a lawyer. Because of pain/limited mobility, you can not go skipping down to the courthouse or chase down forms as easily as someone else might be able to. If you could get free legal assistance through legal aid or a disability service, so much the better ! If you have to pay the retainer now, definitely have your lawyer add filing to recover lawyer costs to his motions. You wouldn't need the lawyer if your stbx didn't abandon you with no money/income.

If you haven't applied for SSDI yet, do it yesterday. Many courts won't consider you disabled until the federal government says that you are.

File for temporary spousal support immediately. Notify the electric, oil/gas, and phone companies that you are disabled so that they can't shut off services.

On a positive note, you became disabled during the marriage. Dumb stbx could (and should) end up paying you lifetime spousal support. Get a cut throat lawyer !

Hang in there !

Dc, I'm so sorry, I'm going to pray for you that after you go through the greiving process that this will be a new beginning for you with many positive results. I know the process my be rough, I agree on the good lawyer. Take care Denise

Time for an excellent divorce attorney to look out for you. I'm sorry for your loss of someon you thought you knew. He can't do that to you.

I am so sorry. Take a deep breather, I agree with the others, go to social service, they will help you either way, if you are disabled, they will assist you in getting your social security, they can help you with fast funds to keep you above water, however,if I am not mistaken, he has a responsibility to maintain the household as is,(especially if he is the main source of income and you are unable to work) and their are laws to protect you. Take care of yourself, I can not imagine what you are feeling, I will pray for you and your well being.

Our caretakers also get overwhelmed, he too has pain, maybe he will come to his senses, in the meantime, do what you have to do to protect of you.

God Bless

Jeanie

well said Jeanie...DC... remember you are not alone in your troubles...we are here with you... lean on us.. most of all..take care of yourself!!!!!

KS

Hi everyone. well its been over a month since I wrote you to tell you about my husband deserting me. Your support and advice helped so much I will be forever grateful. I have been following much of the advice.
I have retained and attorney, he is helping me.Had to sell my silver- that is a whole story in itself the man gave me a bad check!! it been like a chapter out of a novel. then suddenly my husband or ex started paying and i know why.we are finally going to trial on my case after 7 years of torture from IMe depositions etc. and my husband suddenly go worried about his consortium case.Hello no kidding. so one check has come but i went month 3 to be exact with out a penny. I have my own apartment now over by my family about 45 minutes from where i lived with my husband. Here is another shocker, not only did my husband not help me move, I have never heard from one member of his family. after 12 years of treating them at all times with kindness, respect, giving and love. that was the way I was raised.I have not heard from one of them,, that is as shocking to me as my husband leaving me..I as just furious.
Its hard not to look at this as i lost 12 years of my life. there were some good times. But allot of BS. guess what he has been seeing someone since my accident in 2003. the lack of honor it is so disappointing he stayed and went through all my money then left with his chippy. its just too too much.


Well trying to move on. Pain has been off the charts, severe and different. spasms are taking a front seat debilitating spasms. so so painful. all the other stuff is still there, burning burning fierce and bone pain very bad. but the spasms are full body and are like a tortures. happen the worst in am almost like tied to sleep paralysis, but also occurs during day.
New Infusion Plan
my pain management doctor wants me to Begin Magnesium infusion-once per week for a month or two then twice a month for a few months and so on.
He said he knows they will help me. He just doesn't know how bad the side effect will be. I found a very supportive article on this treatment for advanced rsd if anyone is interested. Have to have a blood test first arrange transportation that is difficult, his office is a 45 min drive from her and someone has to be with you after. you often can not walk for a few days, one of the side effects. I have to do it, my pain meds are not working and he said no one is on as much as me he can not raise them. Is that true
May I ask: I am on Opana 40mg twice a day
Oxycodone 30mg 5x per day for breakthrough
and Lyrica 150 mg twice a day for burning.
this little group used to work beautifully I guess my body has just gotten used to it.
Please advise. Love to all. Its nice to be back. Love dc

Dear dc,

So sorry about you ex...what a bum.

Have you considered a pain pump with baclofen for the spasms?

Hang in there, XOXOX Sandy

Hi Sandi thank you for the post. I wanted the pain pump, but dr.S said no, my body rejected everything they have tired. its likethe rsd hunts it down and attacks.It. the port i had put in had to be removed a month latter. the allodina around it was unbearablle. infections etc.the pain from the surgery is undescrible. thank yyou again. dc

As the Beatles say;

It's getting better all the time....
I surely wouldn't want to be married to that person, knowing what I know now!

I consider myself "damaged". I have a world of great friends, one example, this place. But, even though I have "offers of availability" (if that's a good way to say it?) I'm scared out of my mind to get into a relationship, or, maybe angry. Not sure yet..

Pete