I have a long history of Major depression with many attempts to "take care of" my misery. Since the RSD the depression has intesified and currently the have added "treatment resistant" to my diagnoses. Every day can be a desperate struggle. I am much better off if I am busy and focused on others but generally I pay for this with increased pain. My PCP is also a good family friend for many years, he is my lifeline. I also have a therapist, se is helping some but lately her comments on "how wonderful" I look to her makes me want to snatch her bald at times. I have found my mask is well and truely fixed, if I let it slip questions are asked, issues are raised, things are generally not good.
So to sum it up you are not alone in your feelings or thoughts. We are all we truely have as noone else can understand where we are
z

I don't believe in treatment resistent. Yes you may be a hard case but it does not mean you are treatment resistent. Pre rsd I had mental problems where similar was stated but I did get to a healthy place. I don't feel anyone with depression or similar is treatment resistent. It is about finding through meds,therapy,self help tools and fighting as hard as one can to get to a better place where treatment does work. Any doctor who gives that dx is a diservice because having hope and someone who believes in you through a time like this helps greatly.

Lori, we are going to put off hip surgery as long as we can. I'm in PT now but that hip pain hasn't stopped yet. Hopefully as we get farther along in the PT it will.

As far as surgeries, I've had more then my share and the ones I had blocks with I did fine. The Anesteologist are getting better at know what we need when we have RSD. I have pain in my right side also. Drs. have said it's the RSD. I had shingles and had my gallbladder out so I don't know which brought it on.

Daniella, I agree on the treatment resistant thing with you but I do believe they can only get us so far. I can't do the meds. I tried St. John's Wort years ago and had the same side effects from it that I had from Prozac. I have tried all of the depression meds. Due to stomach issues we have pretty much backed away from trying them anymore along with most any othe med.

I have dealt with depression from the time I was a child. I was suicidal as far back as I can remember. I can remember telling my Dad, I would like to kill myself and he told me what the Bible said about suicide. I remember that so clearly. My Mom and Dad were good parents even though they had 10 of us to contend with.

After I fell and developed RSD, I had a complete breakdown. I signed myself into a place and because I couldn't take pills they wouldn't keep me. They didn't want to take the time for councelling me. That's when my PCP said he'd do it, 12 years ago. He saved my life, no doubt about that one. He kept his whole office on call for me if I needed anything. While he was helping me I remember he was helping a 15 year old boy too.

I've came along way but I still deal with the suicidal tendencies and depression even though my life is busy and I shouldn't have time for it.

People are right though. We can be in a room with a 1000 friends and still feel like we are alone. I sometimes too feel like I should start walking and keep walking until I come to the end of the road. It's a strong feeling.

I do know it's a chemical imbalance also that we deal with along with the RSD.

I can spot a depressed person too. When they start talking to me and I listen to their drawl and what they are saying. I have a good good friend that is as bad off as I am and she has a prestigious job and can't let anyone know it for fear of losing it. We talk often. Even though I'm this way, I don't want to let anyone stay this way if I can help it nor lose anymore friends to suicide.

Thanks for the help.
Ada

I feel you, I wouldn't say I'm depressed right now just incredibly anxious and the Valiums and Klonopins only can do so much. I just want to know wtf is going on with me.

I just wrote for like 20 minutes then couldn't post it. What a waste of time lol, sorry I couldn't be of more help.

Oh and what does PCP stand for? I need to know cuz it conjures up messed up news stories I've read when I see it lol.

I've written long post and lost them too. You know what finally relaxed me about doing that. I figured it was something God didn't want me to post. LOL

PCP stands for Primary Care Physician and PA stands for Physician Assistant.

I'm sorry to hear about your depression. It seems to be common with RSD.

Ada

I am sorry for all your pain on every level. I was thinking of this post today cause I saw my ex step dad I call dad for the first time in 4 years. I realized how sad and alone I truly am. I knew it but some things like this and talking about old time makes me feel it more.
I very much agree about the chemical imbalance. I feel I had this even pre rsd.
I also have friends with a lot of mental struggles and it breaks my heart too cause I know the pain one experiences.
Sorry this is not much advice. Do you journal? I may have asked that already. Sometimes that can help. Also I know you stated you had some changes going on with family moving away and sometimes it takes time to adjust.
Sending happy thoughts

I journaled for about 4 years everyday. I have the journal put away. I hate looking back on how things were, it just depresses me more. Nowadays I can't concentrate on journalling for some reason. My mind doesn't stay on one thing long enough to write it down.

My kids moving away was hard but Dustin is here with me and Travis still works here in town so they are all still in and out. It was hard though. Devin comes down almost every weekend too.

You can tell the difference in the depression too, what is connected to the pain and what is major depression.

I went to PT today. I make myself go. It is helping though so that's good.

Feel better soon girl,

Ada

Hi I get help here in Oregon and if I can come up with enough to move I'm going to live in a new Section 8 type housing .I don't think anyone who has RSD could not be Depressed ,I was once a person now Im a bundle of pain ,self respect and most joy (except music and lady friend I see onnce a month and a couple good friends in Oregon )
It's true I would have PTSD so prolly depression anyway
GH
rsdno

Deb it sounds like you are being proactive in helping yourself. I am not always and need to change that. I see sometimes when I don't want to do something but end up pushing I feel better about myself.