[dreambeliever128]

do you know it's connected to the RSD?

I went to see my Dr. this afternoon and one of my Nurses said that I was dealing with Springtime depression. I ask my Dr. if that was the case how does he explain my Summer, Fall, and Winter depression.

As I told him today, I get so tired of everyone thinking I look good and that I am doing good. When they say that I just do a silent scream in my mind saying hell no, I'm not.

I can tell in what people write on here that they are depressed at times even though some think they aren't.

This is similar to asking about the difference between phantom pain and RSD pain. Is the depression from the RSD or is it just depression on it's own.

I pull myself up for a day or two and then I go right back down again.

I also put on a good front. I am always smiling around people and laughing not wanting to let them know how I really feel.

I will be 60 this year and as I told my Dr. there is no way I want to live to be much older if it's worse then what I am already living and have lived.

Do any of you have thoughts like this and wonder what life is all about?

We also talked about God and prayer today. I do believe in both but sometimes I feel like God is not listening at all to me and never has. Crazy or not?

Ada