SandyRI: thank you for the support, i know i shouldnt say never, and i still have hope, just when im depressed, I feel like this is my life forever, which I hope it isnt... im fighting like hell to get rid of this disorder...im in physical therapy, and even when it hurts so bad im about to bawl, i still go through the pain, because im not letting this thing take me down completely, without a fight anyways! about the ketamine infusions, while i was at Mayo clinic in Rochester, they gave me a Ketamine cream..everyone around kansas city didnt know much about the stuff, so im assuming there is no doctors around here that do the infusions...i will look into this, because ive read alot of posts about that, Thanks!