[dorrie]

I think this is the forum to come to for the support I am seeking. For years my 17 year old daughter and I have not got along. This last year has been the most difficult. The last 6 months have been the worst. I finally had enough of her lying, stealing and outright defience and I kicked her out of the home. My diabetes would get worse...my sugars would shoot up so high from the stress and I would have to go to bed and sleep it off. She had had brushes with the law and with pregnancy as well. She has been staying at a shelter in the next town and a few days ago got kicked out...permanently. There are no other places for her to go. I swore a while age that I would not let her come home again. Today as soon as we got here she shared with me about the shelter kicking her out and that she has been charged with assault against one of the other girls there. She says that she did not do it. She said she was there and she did come and try to get help for the girl as there were two other girls bothering her. She claims that because she was there, she has been charged! I have always stressed to my kids that it is so important not to have a criminal record!! That is not all of it.....She has NOWHERE to go! At first I refused to let her come back but decided to let her come home with of course alot of expectations of her. We have been thru this type of thing before, trying to make it work and she always messes up. PLEASE PRAY FOR US! Pray for whatever you think we need or just for God to be with us. I believe in the power of prayer but I have prayed in similar circumstances before and the changes haven't happened. I hope that by reaching out to all of you that God will provide us with whatever we may need to succeed this time. I love her so very much....and I do want her to be with me...so please PRAY FOR US!!!

[Chemar]

oh Dorrie this really is a big thing for you to have to deal with. I do pray that God will bless you for showing mercy to your daughter, even when you have had to carry such a heavy burden from her.

I do pray too that this time it will be different Dorrie....that this will be a turning point for her.

I know in my own life, God really had to break me to make me into what He wants me to be...and it is an ongoing process.......so I pray this for your girl Dorrie...that this will be the point where she gets her life back on a positive course.

I pray for you too Dorrie, that God will strengthen you and equip you to help your precious child and that your health will not suffer because of it.

I pray too that He will send someone in to your daughter's life to help her through this. I know so often although as family we have the most love to give and much sound advice with it, yet often our loved ones wont listen to caution or advice from us, where they will sometimes give heed to the same words from someone else

we are here for you through all of this Dorrie

[dorrie]

Cheri: You words could sooth the hardest of hearts. Than you so much for your prayers! It helps to know that someone else is asking for his help with us. Thank you for being here for us

[Darlene]

dorrie,

This a part of life that no one wants to see. We too went through a time with our daughter back a few years ago. We had to shut our doors to her because of her actions. She and her husband had lost a girl at 9 months to SIDs. Her actions were against what she was taught to her in her young age. It is hard to do that but we must set a good example for our kids. I am happy to say she is back in our lives as well with her husband and her other two kids.

My prayers are with you, yest take one day at a time. Put it into God's hands.

Darlene

[DM]

Hi Dorrie! Wow! That's a tough one. I just don't have the knowledge in this dept to give you any "great" advice.... Cherie and Darlene posted great thoughts... I do want you to know that I will pray for peace in your home now that your DD is there.

Hopefully, this will be her turning point... take care of yourself....

[Taffy]

I wish all will be well with your family Dorrie. Take care of yourself.

[KathyM]

Hi Dorrie

I've had my share of sleepless nights and worry over my son at that age. My boss (a pediatrician) used to say the turbulent teenage years are nature's way of separating parent from child. It brings them to the point where they both look forward to the child moving on and out of the house.

My heart goes out to kids nowadays because it seems the scale is set so high for them in order to really make it in this world. It's got to be a little terrifying when they realize exactly how much life costs - physically, emotionally, and financially.

She's at an age where she's going to have to make some choices in her life. The key to freedom in adult life is taking responsibility for our life, including the consequences of our actions. If not, the prison system will do it for you. This isn't about you having authority and control over your daughter, it's about her taking a little control over her own life. Hopefully, she won't fight you over this when she realizes you only want her to have a good life of her own.

She's got to realize there's only so much you can do for her. You can't grow her wings for her.

I hope your young chick can learn to fly straight, and I'll keep you both in my prayers.

[Waterfront]

Dorrie, I do hope that this time your daughter is ready for some change in her life but change can be very hard. Try speaking to your daughter to find out what is important to her, what she wants out of life, what type of job she would like to have, etc. Then help her with setting small goals and how she plans to achieve them. If there are set backs, focus on the positives and move forward. We can't change the past but we can change the future.

I know it is hard for you but you need to try and focus on doing your best and supporting her and if things don't go as you expect them to, you need to accept it and move on. Otherwise your health is going to continue to get worse and you won't be any good to anyone.

Your daughter is trying to find herself and hopefully soon she will come back around and remember all of the wonderful things you taught her growing up. LOL I know this is easier said then done but with God and the love that you have for your daughter, this too shall pass.

Remember to tell your daughter that you love her through her achievements and disappointments. It may seem to fall on deaf ears but she will hear it.

[dorrie]

Hey everyone...thank you all so very much for your replies. I appreciate them so much. Today was an ok day for Katie and me. She came to work with me and volunteered some of the day and then she went to the YMCA for assistance in finding a job. She went to the doctor for a checkup and restarted her birth control with the intent of continuing it(thank goodness). Her Dr. id considering an anti depressant. This frightens me but my girl has a habit of cutting herself and has made a horrible mess of her arm. I woulf like her to have plenty of councelling if she needs meds. I do not see the point of putting someone on meds like that if they do not have councelling as well. She has alot of good plans and I hope that she continues to move forward towards a better life. I think the one day at a time is great as well. I learned that in AA.and have been very successful at living that way day to day. I guess sometimes life just comes at you too quick and we forget to do these important thing that truly do make a world of difference. Thanks again for all of your kind advice and prayers....they really do help me feel more assured.

[AfterMyNap]

Oh, shoot, Dorrie, you sound so frazzled and I'm sorry for this. I'll be praying that your daughter will find peace within and that the Holy Spirit will fill her heart with love for herself and others. She sounds so lost but God knows exactly where she is virtually all the time.

I'm praying also that these changes will not cause you any physical or emotional toll. Keep the faith, girl, God works nonstop even if we can't see where or how He does it.