I googled this question and came up with this. The closest thing I could to what I am actually feeling. I am NOT unhappy, I get a little lonely sometimes but daily, I do O.K.

http://ask.metafilter.com/84087/What...lly-want-to-do

Of course this guy is 23 and Most of what he says doesn't apply to an Older person like myself but some of it does.

I find that if I make a list of things I Should do, I rarely do them all in the specifide time I give myself. I used to do in One day what it takes me a week to do nowand I really Don't Care either when I don't get everything done. Which is Very ODD for me.

I talked to a friend in her 70's and she said that as we age our priorities shift. I have no big plans, I never did. Life just sort of Happened TO me. I dealt with things I NEVER wanted to have to deal with. I feel like the life I have lived is NOT the life I wanted eventhough I really HAD no big plans.

Anyone else feel like this?

Sometimes..Sort of..How's that for an answer?

I had plans..Not BIG plans by most people's standards, I suppose, but still..I feel fortunate to have accomplished them up to this point..It's the "where do I go from here" I haven't quite answered yet. Depression isn't a big problem, I'm pretty happy overall, but I don't want to let myself get too "comfortable", if you know what I mean. Just because I have this ridiculous disease doesn't mean I have to stop making plans. I may have to revise those plans occasionally, but then I had to do that even before MS, so that's not new.

Back to your original question..What do I do when there's really nothing I WANT to do? I guess I take my time, do a few small things, and give thought to where I want to go from here. If I figure out where that is, I'll be posting it here!

interesting question, it seems like I never have free time always something to do,

but what do you do when you dont want to do anything,

i guess i crash out or zone out at history channel

like i said occasionally i couch potato it and find its good for the soul to zone out once in a while, interesting question Wiix

Thanks both of you for giving Some kind of answer. This is a Simple question but NOT an easy question. As far as "Zoning Out". I think I already AM in a constant state of Zone Out to begin with. I am in my own little world here. I go for months sometime Years without having any kind of Real life Human interaction aside from the cashier at the grocery or the desk clerk at the library and I don't seem to care.

Do we reach a point in our lifes when we've DONE everything we are going to do and there is nothing left to want because everything we had is gone and there is NO chance in Hell of anything New coming into our life??

Do we reach a point where there is no point to wanting anything or needing anyone or caring about anything?? I don't even CARE what I eat anymore. I just grab anything that's here and sometimes I don't even go BUY food when I need to. The laundry piles up, I don't care, Screw it, I say some days. I am not mad or upset about anything. I don't want to do anything or go anywhere or try to think of anything to do. Do we get to a point when all the things we liked are DONE. Any possibility of anything happening to make a change doesn't really matter, I'm just Tired of everything. I keep thinking about my family that is Gone, a daughter I will never see again because of her mental problems, a grand daughter who I haven't seen in 5 years, growing up without a "Na", that's what she called me. I would Like to see her or talk with her on computer but last time that was possible my daughter screwed THAT up. She is my Only blood relative alive and we have Nothing and no possibility of anything, Ever.

Is this what getting old IS? I have no one to ask or talk to about it. My sister lost her husband last year and I think she is going soon now too. I EMailed her a few months ago and she never replied. It seems any and all efforts I made at Anything, come to Nothing, No Reply. I don't WANT to be depressed, I don't FEEL depressed, I feel like I am actually seeing things as they truely ARE. Am I going to go on for the rest of my life like this??

I HAVE religion, my own version of what I think God is and I do talk to God sometimes. I ask what to do next, I ask for answers, I get nothing. How can a person in a world with Billions of people feel so isolated and alone? Am I a Freak?? I just don't know anymore, maybe I am.

I didn't really understand what you were asking/saying from your fisrt post, but I get it a little more from your second.

Sometimes I don't feel the joy anymore like I used to. Sometimes it feels like the best is behind me. I just try to stay busy. Try to not think about it, not look back or ahead, just look at right now, at the task at hand.

Get up, take a shower, eat, read, feed the dogs.

Life is not a parade. It's not a load of laughs and constant smiles. But when I do see that cashier, I figure her life is not a parade either. Maybe I can say something nice, amke her laugh, make her day better. And that makes my day better too.

One laugh at a time and I come out of it until things don't seem so bad. You never know what's ahead. You don't have to plan them they just happen. But they're not going to just walk into your kitchen, you have to go find them, and see them when they happen. I have to open my eyes to them, if you know what I mean. I have to be in the frame of mind to be able to do that.



I hope you find that.

Hi Wiix, I am sorry to read your post about what life has dealt you up to now. This may sound preachy but I am going to throw it out there anyway.

You say you have your religion and talk to God sometimes. Talk to Him more. And listen more, this was hard for me.

Try to find a good welcoming church (you may have to visit several till you find the one that fits) and open yourself up to making new friends. You will be surprised to find that there are others that are also looking for someone to laugh and just be happy with.

God has done some amazing things in my life in the last year and when I read your post I could relate so much but that was then and this is now. I hope you find some meaning and more importantly that human interaction that means so much. ...Sue

Hey Wiix .. I definitely know where you are coming from ... and I agree with Snoozie, BGB, Frank and Polar ..

I use to go a 100mph a day ... and still have more on my to-do list ... I would keep adding and adding .. and do them ... then I got MS (or had it - and it finally said, ENOUGH!)

this last year was tough - trying to figure out what to do ... then around christmas time, I decided that no one is going to tell me what to expect - so now I can do what I want and no one can say 'didly-squat' .. when someone says something, I just tell them that this is how I'm handling my dx - and doing okay.

be GOOD to yourself .. I decided to return back to school (online) to finish my masters ... and been enjoying the camaraderie with participating with others (as I enjoy this site) ...

doesn't matter how old you are - start a new project, take a class that peaks your interest - read a new novel from the library.. then write a book review and send it to local small newspapers (they are always looking for new news) ...

you don't have to prove anything to anyone ... when you go to the library, check out the DVD movie: Facing the Giants .. it helped me to get a new perspective on life ... and it's all good ..

I agree with everyone's suggestions. It's hard to try and find a "purpose" some days. Since I do not work any longer it's up to me to find things to do to fill them.

I've found that volunteering and/or helping someone else is a great way to feel better and make a difference in someone else's quality of life at the same time.

I tend to analyze things a lot.....like on days when I feel a little down or I'm missing my family members who've passed on I'll sit and watch my bird feeders in the back yard. All kinds of birds and critters come to eat - including a few bunnies and a whole assortment of birds. It never fails - when I'm feeling low a bright red cardinal will come and sit on my porch railing. I take that as a sign from my Dad that everything will be OK. The other evening I was missing my sister terribly and a bunny hopped up to the edge of the storage barn and started eating some of the sunflower seeds I had put out. My sister loved rabbits and collected porceline figurines of them. I took that as a sign from her that life goes on and I will be OK. Then....I burned a pan of dressing and took that as a sign from my mother that I'll never be as good of a cook as she was!!! We used to have some good laughs in the kitchen when she was here with us.

It's normal to feel sadness and lonliness. If we didn't we wouldn't be human. I just tend to take it one day at a time, do what I feel like I can do, and always remember that there is someone I can help regardless of what my own circumstances are.

Herekitty - I get a lot of comfort from the wildlife too. At one point when I rather wondered if I really had any purpose to be (and you all know where that place is...) I was watching a rabbit hop around my yard. She nosed around and found my johnny jump ups and started nibbling on them.

I figured at that moment, if nothing else, I fed one bunny something that day. Nothing earth shattering, no cure for cancer, lol. But there was a reason I existed if I wanted to look at it that way.

I try to see it that way now. Maybe I can't always make the world the way I want it to be so I try not to think of life on those terms. I try to think what I can do to make it somehow better for some one, because that does make it better for me too.

When I started this thread yesterday, I WAS in pretty BAD shape. Today was a little better. Those TERRIBLE days come, usually when I have done too much physically the day before. I just don't have the energy I used to or the strength. I did today what I Couldn't DO yesterday because I just didn't have the physical strength to. I did what Needed doing today, 2 sinksful of dishes, a little vacuuming around my desk but I still haven't cleaned up the Damned laundry all over the place, maybe toninght I will just say "I'll give it 15 minutes of sorting and folding and putting stuff when it needs to be. I think that'd at Least make a dent in the Avalanche. I will give it a whole hearted effort tonight.

I get so tired and I can't sleep. I just lay there until 4 or 5 and see it start to get light out. I then fall asleep. I have only EVER lost a night's sleep once and I was so dizzy the next day I was falling down all over the place. That was when my daughter was an infant. I think it is the Epilepsy. I was only diagnosed with it about 10 years ago. I KNEW something wasn't right, I mean, in my head. Visual distubances, audio distubances, balance problems, dizziness. I have Always been like this even as a kid.

Going out around people in crowds as in church is not an option. I get sick easily and stay sick for months. I have a Terrible immune system. I HAVE tried over and over and over again but each time I got sick it got worse and worse. Two years ago it almost killed me. I can be with a one or two people at a time and they CAN'T be sick or I catch it. Please don't try to tell me to keep doing that. At this point in my life I think I KNOW what happens to me when I go out around crowds. It has been a life long problem. I remember my mother yelling at me because I was sick and my husband making me fell guilty everytime I got sick. This trickled down to my daughter too. I have always been sickly. It's terrible not being able to breathe and having someone yelling at you while you are coughing up blood. I think I have had the Worst people in my life. I said that to my sister once and she got mad. I told her I had the Wrong family. I was the baby and no one was there for me. Everyone was off doing their own thing. I do believe I was just a throw away child. Now I am just a throw away grown up.

I am not sad about this revelation. I just wish I could have understood all this a long time ago and not been so understanding of others Always putting me last. I have never been a demanding person, I just wanted what was rightfully mine and never got it. I feel very cheated. I don't hurt anymore about it. I think my heart is finally grown calloused but I still DO Love my animals. They were always there when no human was. Maybe I need a new pet. I just lost one a few weeks ago, he died but I still have his mate, a female iguana, that I Love dearly. I can talk to her about this problem but I don't get any answers. BUT she is a Very Good Listener.