oral is most accurate.

rectal will read higher. subtract a degree.

auxillery, add a degree.
* if using mercury thermometer. most digital have their own settings or charts.

if your mercury thermometer is old, it may not be reading correctly.

going out in the heat can raise you basel body temperature, as can high humidty.

you may have gotten a slight case of food poisoning, which mose cases of diarhea or loose stools are. the temp may have been your body fighting off the bacteria.

laser thermometers are used to take your temp in your ear. fast and easy. they have little clear throw away guards, so they are sterile. i have a digital and the laser. laser is awesome to take a temp of a sleeping kid. they never know.

Psst...hey Mel...you know that thermometer you used in your bumm? Mark it and don't use it your mouth. Well, it is ok to use on Alan, just don't tell him where is has been. snicker*

Glad you are starting to feel better!

I am weird! I never have a normal temp. It is always below normal. If it ever gets to 100...I can't walk. Must be a MS thing.

yes, this is what I thought. thanks for the correct wording ...auxilary is
the word I was looking for. ear was all I could come up with.

Glad you are starting to feel better!

I NEVER FELT SICK!!!!

AAARRRRRGGGGHH!!!!!

Now I hear that oral is correct, if rectal, subtract one point,

AARRGGGHHHHH!!!!!

And I disinfect with alcohol EVERY TIME I USE IT, BEFORE AND AFTER I USE IT.

No germees spreading in my house.

I am now going to return the Brand New CVS thermometr because it now does not beep at all.

I re-set it, went over to Alan and said 'i'm going to take your temperature".

He said "No you are not".

I said "oh yes I am" (You should see him when I have to test my meter), I stick him 5 times.

Oh, they are sending me a brand new Precision Xtra meter, right off the production line, with three buttons, instead of the one I've been using. Mine is 4 years old.

That should come in 2 days.

Maybe it will come with my Pasta N More???

I can take my sugar reading at the same time I cook Pasta (AND TAKE MY TEMPERATURE WITH THE NEW THING I'M GOING TO BUY WHEN I GO BACK TO CVS).

I always wanted one of those digital ear things.

Are they correct? Do I have to add a point to that one too!!!

Oh my god, I'm almost 61 and I have to add points to thermometers and take away points.

lol lol lol

the difference in temps in different body areas has always been the same.

a near normal rectal temp, especailly if taken after the morning will read 100.

the ear thermometer i have adjusts autotmaticly. it tells if the temp is in the normal range.

standard guide for adults and children:

Use a reliable thermometer to tell if you have fever when temperature is at or above one of these levels:

• 100.4° Fahrenheit (38° Celsius) measured rectally (in the bottom)
• 99.5° Fahrenheit (37.5° Celsius) measured orally (in the mouth)
• 99° Fahrenheit (37.2° Celsius) measured in an axillary position (under the arm)

I just pm'd you.

My brand new, just bought NEW CVS one (different than the one I just returned to them), well that says I don't have any temperature at all!!!

I don't register on the thing. It never beeped

I don't go over 98.2. Maybe you have to go over 98.6 and it will beep??

I kept it in my mouth for over 4 minutes.

I once read (years ago), that when you stick a thermometer anywhere (especially rectally, using a rectal thermometer of course), it will tell you if you have a fever in under 30 seconds. After 30 seconds, it only goes up in increments, like 100.7 or 8, but it will get to the 100 (or higher) in under 30 seconds.

I guess I'm dead. I have no body temperature.

But hey, I feel fine!!!

I am now drinking my mom's Bay Leaf Tea.

And I have no idea why.

Because I feel fine.

Tonight (with my luck), I'll probably have a fever of 110.

Melody you have to stop the madness woman! I almost choked reading your stories and you wouldn't want to be responsible for me choking from laughing now do you?

My advice is to stop taking your temp rectally. lol First, you sit on your booty and that makes it hotter than your mouth which we open and close to breath, not to mention the chance of breaking mercury into your booty! LOL I am sorry but I can't stop laughing and just pictured you making a video on this.

I so have to meet you someday! What a riot! Rotflmao!

On a serious note, Jim runs up and down temps. I once heard this happens with ms sometimes. Jim's doctor doesn't even consider a fever unless it's 101 or higher. The only exception for Jim is if he has signs of a UTI. Then it can be as low as 99 and he'll treat it.

Now, step away from the thermometer! lol

Well, I just took it one last time. I feel fine by the way. But the Benefiber gives me lots of gas. I could probably light up Paris with the energy coming from my body.

Stop laughing.

I took it first with the rectal thermometer (all cleaned, bleached and sanitized) Orally, it says 99.2. So I gather that makes it 100.2 (that is, if this old mercury thermometer is actually working), and the pharmacist told me today, those things never die.

So now I'm sitting here with the brand new CVS Flexible probe thing, in my mouth, and waiting for it to beep.

I used it on Alan before. With a clean cover. I know how to use these because I used the B&D brand for years. Can't find that one so that's why I bought these.

This is my second of the day by the way.

Well, Alan just sat there with the stupid thing in his mouth and we waited, and we waited. We stopped waiting after 4 minutes. He took it out of his mouth and it said 95. He got disgusted and said "Take this thing back". I said 'but it's the second one". He said 'they are all cr*p".

I think he's right.

So now it's in my mouth for 1 minute. Let's wait and see what happens after 2 minutes.

I want it to get a GOOD READING OF MY TEMP.


lol lol lol lol

Oh, by the way, my forehead is cool. My arms are cool. I don't feel like i have a fever.

BUT WHAT THE HECK DO I KNOW.

I might have malaria with all these false readings.

I did call my doctor today but he had no openings.

What the heck was I supposed to say?

"Rectally I'm 100 sometimes, orally I'm 97".

I can just hear them laughing in that office.

98.9

Hellllllooooo 98.9 What does that mean with an oral Digital CVS thermometer

WITH A FEVER ALARM BUILT IN!!!

yup, it's got a fever alarm. It's supposed to give 5 rapid beeps when you have a fever.

I can't get this stupid thing to give me one beep.

So what do I do tomorrow when I bring it back and get my $7.99 back.

Do I go to another drugstore and by the B & D thingee.

I never had a problem with that one.

God, I hate thermometers.

I feel like buying the baby digital forehead one. At least it might work.

lol lol lol

OH MY GOD, I just took off the right tip where you separate the battery thingee. I can't get it back on. It won't click in. Now it's dead!!!

I KILLED MY THERMOMETER.

Doesn't matter, I hated it anyway!!!!

our digital one you have to push a button so it knows to start, does yours have a button, to start it or turn it on?
Or push and hold it till it zero's out or blinks numbers??
It's been so long since anyone had anything needing a temp taken around here...I can't recall exactly what it did but I know we pushed a button then used it.

I can't believe you managed to get 2 that don't work...how frustrating..

But I do think you are OK , you'd be feeling worse by now if you had something serious

when all else fail...try this below...

(*disclaimer, Neurotalk is not responsible for the content on how to take your temperature, please ask your local consumer reporter, or Mel for advice: on how to properly take your rectal, oral, rectal/oral, oral/occipital, renal and arnold, but never in Uranus)