[justtired]

After a life that's been good and bad I feel like I'm done trying. I am 35 and have 2 daughters 14 and 2. I am very close to my family and I love my 2 girls with all my heart. I just feel dead inside and I'm tired of acting like everything is ok.

[Alffe]

I hear you and feel for you. For the love of those girls, please don't take your life...it's a terrible legacy to leave behind for the people who love and need you in their lives. Please read my signature line and keep talking to us.

[justtired]

You spoke to me on the other post. I just feel like they'll understand. My life has been so hard for so long. I am so unhappy.

[Alffe]

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archive...-much-to-live/

[DMACK]

Hello Justtired and welcome to SOS, im sad your present feelings bring you here but......promise you will stay around for the next 50 years or so.....

your cyber name explains your feelings.........very well.........

So the clue is there

1. tired.

.....more like exhausted.....depression is just that exhausting..........

rest my friend is the most important thing required

don't think ...just rest

and don't act or pretend that all is ok.....tell people it is not ok............by talking you help the healing to begin.

Please dont put your family through the misery of suicide.......[i tried and regret it so much............it affects so many people]

please keep TALKING

David

[justtired]

I'm just tired of life. I grew up in a loving family. I had a happy childhood. I have many friends and I have my kids. When I was about 22 I was attacked and my teeth were damaged and a metal plate was put in my face so I don't feel attractive anymore. Thishasaffected my relationships since. I was arrested and charged with a felony assault for punching a guy once who threatened my life. I dropped out of college to help a past girlfriend of mineget through college and when she did she dumped me. My closest person to me was my mother who just recently passed away. I can't find work to provide for my daughters. I'm just tired of life at this point.

Ohh. I recently found out I may have some serious health problems and my girlfriend and babys mother just broke up with me.

[Alffe]

You have a lot on your plate justtired and I'm sorry you lost your mother recently..that's a tough one. And job hunting in this economy is surely depressing. Trust me when I tell you that your daughters will not understand. My only son killed himself 22 years ago this month and it changed our family forever. The overwhelming guilt for his action practically killed me too. It took me years to accept what he did and to forgive him.

Circumstances can change...but suicide is a forever decision. I'm glad you are talking here...people cannot help you if they don't know how you feel...pretending to be fine when you aren't is a bad idea.

[justtired]

I'm trying to listen. I'm trying to find a reason. I'm so sad right now. I just don't know what else to do. I love both my daughters but I didn't find out about the first one till she was 9. My other baby is my heart but it kills me her mother won't let me be a family and be there to raise her. I feel alone and just wish my mom was still here. I don't want to try anymore. I just want to stop hurting.

[Alffe]

Did you read my signature? http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
Also stickied at the top of the forum are Pters words..such a wise man. http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread5351.html
He fought depression his whole life and shared what worked for him.

I understand that you want the pain to end...but killing yourself would ruin the lives of the people who love you. Please hang tough and hold on to hope. Things change given time.

[thelonely1]

You're not alone in feeling tired, my friend. I've been depressed for longer then I can remember, and there is exactly one reason why I'm still going; so my dad won't have to feel the pain of losing a loved one to suicide. You have two beautiful daughters, and you've got to do your best to stick around for their sake. It's hard enough for a two year old to understand death, you don't want to force her to wonder why her daddy chose to leave her. I know that it doesn't make life any easier, but if you choose to live to spare your daughters a lot of pain, at least you will have a reason to keep on plugging along.

Are you taking antidepressants, or do you have a theripist? Those two things can go a long way in helping you get your life back in order.