This is too close to home for me .... I can't say too much....know that I am thinking about you and hoping you will find the strength to seek help. I understand why you do it, honestly I do... but there are better ways. You need to deal with the pain that is inside in order to stop the release you get from the cutting. I hope you will call someone , anyone....

BJ we're all thinking of you.

If our strength can pass through to you, then I pray that you feel it soon.

I've been thinking of you BJ and hoping that you're doing OK. Please keep in touch.

I haven't told anyone what happened. I have a complaint all typed out, I put my camera on a timer and took pictures but I haven't done anything about it. I haven't been to therapy after what happened with the "other parts" from my new one and the group therapy was only one week and it was a total waste of my time. I don't see my pdoc until Friday and I need to tell her, I need to find the strength to do it. But I don't want to be judged, it happened and I didn't provoke it. But I know it's going to fall on deaf ears, I know she won't believe me. It's just the way it is when you're so doped up you don't even know what day it is.

((((BJ)))))

You won't gain any sympathy out there by cutting yourself. You may not know what day it is, but you know what your skin and a knife looks like. Like it or not, it is NEVER appropriate to cut yourself - be it for healing of your pain, or to draw attention to your pain. It causes people to label you. It makes people blame you because they don't know how to remove your pain. Eventually, it makes people run away from you.

Many, MANY horrible things have happened to me. I didn't deserve the abuse either. My best friend died - not long after that both of my parents died within 8 days of each other. It is just the life I was given. Hey, in-between the heartache and fear there were some fun and good stories, so all is not lost.

It's our job to respect and appreciate the gift of life and the world God has provided for us. It's our job to learn how to walk in this world without trying to destroy ourselves and others. It's our job to learn how to not be afraid of the dark, each other, and ourselves.

I keep you in my prayers.

B.
I am so comfoted by seeing you post. you do not know how much hearing from you meens.!!!
I am sorry for the things that are being ignored by "the system" that is set up to help us and keep us safe when we are at a low point.
I have things to share on that and it happened right about this time in another year but i just cant share the details cus i am so angry and it isnt settled but...someday i will try to share again.
honey we are judged from the moment we wake up each moring. I would tell I hope and pray you have the strength to do so. because if you dont say anything ...you will never know what would of come of it if you had ...at least said something and tryed to bring light rather then just let it go and say nothing. I dont kmow what happened but I do believe something happend and it is eatting my friend up inside and I do not like that!! I care and love her like the rest of our family here dose!
I will be keeping you in prayers for strength wisdom justice and...healing peace. And i know all my s.o.s. sisters and brothers here will be doing very much the same thing.I hope you can feel it because it is here.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((B.P. ))))))))))))))))))

a bump for B.P.

(((((((((BJ)))))))))))

I am so thankful to hear from you

you *need* to tell the doc what happened BJ. Take the pics and the complaint you typed up with you and give it to her. She cannot ignore you on this. It happened. She needs to help you and also to stop it from happening to anyone else. I know it is hard, but you owe it to yourself BJ. Keeping it bottled in and suffering is not fair to you. It was *not* your fault!!!! You were there to be cared for and to recover from the hurt, not be more hurt. At least try to talk to her about it and give her the pics and what you typed up.

I am praying for you every day, BJ
with much love
Cheri

(((BJ))) I'm just so relieved to see you post. I'm still hoping for you to find a good therapist because they can bring light into a very dark world. You need to talk it out with someone. Don't be afraid to do that.

Much love to you BJ. We care very much.

BJ

I don't know hun, I could tell my doctor anything, and I know I would be believed. Perhaps you need to find a doctor you can connect to? It took me a long time, but it was well worth all the time.

As for being judged.... if I am not mistaken, you are religious correct?
It is a sin for others to judge. Just keep that in mind, maybe it will help
keep those particular fears at bay

I don't know what happened BJ, but like BMW, I can clearly see that it is eating you up, and I so wish I could do something to help you! As with most things in life, the longer you keep it to yourself the harder it is to talk about. Try to get help, in your other thread.. I told you how proud I was of you that you had sought help. Truly I am. I know you will find the strength to do so again. If you need a lil help, we will be here to lift you up

As for the cutting, I think like anything else, suicide, illness, one has to have experienced it.... be a cutter, or one of their loved ones are, to fully appreciate and understand it. Walk in their shoes so to speak. It is NOT that uncommon, and it is a very insensative person, who would make you feel bad about it. I am sure your doctor would understand. I pray you will get help dear Bj, cutting can be so devastating, and cause life time damage

I have never been to traditional therapy....instead I speak to Stephen's Ministers at my Church... come here, or talk it out with friends. But, I have to say I agree with Doody. I have seen therapy work wonders for so many people!! I do hope you will give it a try, maybe make that light at the end of the tunnel brighter for you

May God keep you and hold you.
May He guide you and keep you safe.
May He hold you in the palm of His hand
And take away your worry and pain. Nikki

I am glad your back...its time to collect those hugs I promised. a few posts back ...